Author's Note: I especially want to thank End of Story, he is overworked and underpaid to do the job for me he does. Especially since I don't pay him anything. Any spelling mistakes are mine, and if those mistakes are found in dialogue...I probably did it on purpose. So there! Please, read, and enjoy. Please leave comments as well. I have grown to love reading them! I do ask that you do not include "spoilers" in the comments. Let new readers enjoy the surprises.
Chapter 18: Dreaming
I knew it was a dream...I knew it beyond the shadow of a doubt. How did I know? Simple, I was in a jail cell. I knew that I would die before I was ever put in a jail cell ever again. Therefore, I knew this had to be a dream. To be at the tender mercies of those who hate you, to eat, sleep and wash only by the tolerance of enemies? Never going back to that again. As someone labeled a sex offender, being in jail is a constant battle of both the body and mind. You are alone, with every hand raised against you. Either people are indifferent since they are just doing their own time, or they try to find ways to fuck with you. I mean that both literally and figuratively. As an SO you can fully expect that when other inmates finish using the mop bucket, to get the dirty water tossed under your door to flood your cell. I'm pretty sure at least one of them took a piss in it before they did it.
As an SO, if you are ever put in jail, I highly recommend you get the vegan meal. Plead that it is against your religion, or whatever to get it. It is made separately from the others since no animals can be harmed in the making of it, at least that is how I understand it. Most of the inmates know which meals are going to sex offenders and will either spit, shit or piss in your food. The vegan ones have a better chance of being left alone. As a fresh-faced kid going in, I was scared. Never been to jail before, still confused as hell as to why I was there. Last I heard, my girlfriend/fiancé was accusing me of rape. I found that out when I was being processed and still in handcuffs so, not much I could do. Oh sure...much later I was accused of a lesser charge. But for the time being...I was a rapist.
While my mind was reeling like a hyperactive hamster from these accusations I was thrust into a whole different world. One of pain as I was strip-searched having to bend over and cough with a cold finger shoved up my asshole. One of pressure, as I was held against a wall by a Nazi jail crew and given a hard welcome. I was told to be good or I would be given another, "self-inflicted-injury." Found out that SO's commonly "injure themselves", so it was their obligation to be watching me.
As I said, I would never go back to jail alive. That's how I knew this was a dream.
I glanced around my cell, concrete slab with a thin mattress with even thinner pillow covered in cracked and worn vinyl-like material. Two thread bare sheets and one nasty green blanket, was probably donated from a third hand store. Based on the scratchiness of the wool and the amount of holes in it I'd say the blanket was a reject from the ones sent to soldiers in World War One. I did a quick check to make sure all the items in my room were off the floor, another check to make sure I had a roll of toilet paper that wasn't wet or crinkled. If it was nasty like, it meant that someone wetted it down before it came to me so that it would be useless. Or maybe they pissed on it. A lot of the "jokes" inmates play on SO's seem to involve urine for some reason.
Once I saw my floor was clear I stood up from where I had been sleeping a moment ago and did the old trick that many inmates who suffered from claustrophobia do. I stretched out my arms to touch the walls and carefully moved to the center of the room so I couldn't feel them. Then closed my eyes and allowed my thoughts to take me away. The dim lights that are always on making it impossible to sleep without a head box faded to the background. The noises of the other inmates slowly drained from my ears and thoughts. The claustrophobia welling in my chest began to release its hold. Soon I would be out in the sun, walking barefoot in my family's field talking with my dad. Or maybe I would remember washing dishes with my mom as a boy. I would soon force my mind into a meditative peace and comfort that I could and would maintain for hours at a time.
I heard the chunk of the door to my cell disengage a second before cold dirty water flooded under the door!
I snarled as the cold hit my feet and sure enough, I caught sight of a man in uniform pass his badge to a partner before he charged in right at me! My bare foot slammed into the middle of his chest and sent him staggering back to his buddies behind him.
I remembered this. Day three, after being processed in general population I had then been moved to a more secure pod in jail. This is the welcoming committee. I knew the dream would end the same way, even though my mind was sharper now, and I was willing to fight, unlike the first time. The guard was moved to the side and two more came in. I ducked the first swing and got tackled by the second guard. I dug my first two fingers in his eyes, after hooking the fingertips I pulled hard! His scream was in that high-pitched range that men try to avoid since it shows no self-restraint at all. The other tried to kick me while I was down, so stupid. I could see the kick coming and moved my head and shoulders so it just missed, then grabbed the kicking leg as it came back. A quick roll and I should have been able to drop him to the ground while his friend tried to see again.
No luck.
Small cell remember? He caught his balance on the wall, and kicked me in the face with his other boot. It stunned me for long enough for all three to grab my dazed body and haul me to my feet. That's when the fourth man came in. I don't remember his name, or his face...I will never forget the sound of his voice. He sounded so happy to me, as he vented his anger on my chest, ribs, hips, even bending me over to start beating my ass with that damn asp of his. An asp is a collapsible baton if you want to know. Applicable name too. He beat me over and over until I stopped resisting, then he beat me more to see if I had any fight left.
I know that at some point now I am supposed to wake up, usually that's what happens. I wake up in twisted soaked sheets, my body shaking and taking deep sobbing breaths. Then I go take either a cool shower, or just soak my head. Then I stretch for a while and try to get some sleep.
Usually. Not this time.
I kept getting battered, and they weren't stopping. Finally they dropped me on the ground and start stomping on me! This isn't right, guards can't leave much of a mark or it doesn't look like a self-inflicted injury? What's going on...? Oh God! They're going to kill me! They are going to beat me to death! I'm going to die! I'm going to die in this shitty smelling cell soaked in urine laced mop water; to two mouth breathing inbred guards who probably fuck their grandmothers since they can't find any pussy of their own?
"NO!" I didn't say it. Someone else did.
I caught the next stomping foot and pulled hard. The pain of getting my other hand stomped on since it wasn't protected in my fetal position? I ignored it. That pain is the cost of doing business when your life is on the line. You tend to forget about that kind of thing when you want to survive. The guard fell on his back, and I hit him as hard as I could with a knife hand in the center of his throat. I heard a popping sound and he began to gag and twitch on the floor!
"YES!" Said a soft voice in my ear.
The two other guards, still standing, stared at their buddy on the ground in shock. It was only for half of a moment, but it was enough time for me to strike hard and fast after getting quickly to my feet. I struck with my fingertips, palm up, and right after contact with the throat I would curve my fingers a little as if beckoning someone. They both collapsed, one gagging, one choking with a rattle to his breathing. That unknown face of the fourth guard, the last one standing, suddenly became clear to me. He smiled, and his face looked full of pride. Then bandages of what appeared to be white linen wrapped around his entire frame, even down to his hands! Just before the lower half of his face was covered I heard him speak.
"You are PATHETIC!"
Then my Door slammed shut just inches in front of my face. The wheel spun pushing the security bolts in their slots. The chain, perfect and unbroken appeared in the wheel housing. Everything was firm and tight. I was still breathing hard, and took several steps back from the Door. While walking away, I saw...words? No...pictures? I guess symbols would be the best way to describe them, etched in the floor of my mind. They were large, at least two paces across, maybe half a pace high. I couldn't make heads or tails of them. Looked almost cuneiform. Or Runic...like what the old people used way back in the day. Just a whole bunch of cut lines in the cement. Decided to open up my Sight and take a look.
It was absolutely beautiful! Just three words, written as if guiding me back towards my Door. You can tell a lot about a person by how they write. I figured it was bullshit too, like reading a horoscope or something in that vein. My hand writing looks like a chicken with a limp stepped in a puddle of ink and cleaned its feet off with some paper. Then I had a professional look at my handwriting to do an analysis. Scarily accurate, back to what I was seeing though. Laid out like one of those Japanese Haiku poem thingies, I followed the words and remembered them. They were what Mother had spoken to me, which seemed to resonate in my chest.
First word, "Become."
I stepped over it, almost felt sacrilegious to step on it. I thought maybe I'd feel something cool walking over it, like I would have gained something by crossing a beautifully presented word that was carved in the bedrock of my mind's eye. I felt disappointed, I didn't feel any different; truthfully I was relieved. I've had enough with mucking about in my head for a while.
Came to the second word, "Learn." Same thing stepped over it and felt zilch, zero, nada!
Third, "Grow."
Just the same thing, rinse and repeat. I felt like I was missing something, probably wasn't. Just my head playing tricks on me again. Funny that I would think of my head playing tricks on me...when I am currently inside of it!
I was right back at my Door. I remembered my other aspects telling me that someone was still inside. I remembered their grubby faces, like they had been covered in soot or something. I also remembered the blue glow that was shining in there. Suddenly my slow turtle brain made the connection. That power that I seem to have, it covered my hand in that blue light when I picked up Gwen's cards! It was the same color as the light behind the door! I began to reach for the chain on the Door. Whatever questions I about my supposed power lay behind it. Suddenly bandages shot out between the seams and cracks of the barrier and wrapped around me, holding me tight.
