You can feel the flat, metallic weight of Percy's deep set eyes, watching you with gray concern...you can hear the bones working in Delilah's long neck, shaking her head as rips that bong of hers, halo of weed smoke floating away in the wind; the tangy stench lingers in your nose a block away as you leave Percy's apartment behind and get the 88 bus down toward your overpriced apartment on Park and DeForest.
That was disastrous. You can't help but muse, when would they stop playing with you, declaring you a lost cause? You probably still smell like the whiskey, sweated and burned out of your body into your clothes despite the humid frigidity rolling off the sea. Your thoughts drift inevitably back to Xia,
hating
that you're concerned about the wellbeing of a vile creature like her...what you'd done to her, didn't that objectively make you a worse monster than she?
Your imagination goes into overdrive as you
seethe with shame, you burn with hate for yourself and for Xia; there it is, you feel the floor drop out from under your psyche and suddenly your mind is falling through a fire-and-plasma-lit shaft of barbed iron grating; heat-flayed, skeletal hands reach out for you, screaming and cursing in the voice of your victims, of Lena's and of the other Scions, and their bony claws tear away at the flimsy, paper-thin mask of decency and humanity you use to fool Isabel and everyone else you care about.
You land with bone-crushing impact upon the black basalt foundation of your subconscious and a cage erupts forth from the ground beneath you, clutched in Lena's massive, dead palm. She lifts you before her mile-high visage and the familiar mockery of her laugh is a demon's scourge spattering the reality of your soul across the rock; orange lightning wracks the sky and you SCREAM so loudly in your own head you feel as if you'll split your fucking skull from the jaws.
You can't go home. You can't be around people you know because right now, you're not the person you've pretended to be; that identity, 'Yusuf Avimalek Mizrah' has always just been a carefully cultivated Hunter's camouflage for you to draw in Prey and lovers, and you remember when the line between them didn't even exist.
At this point, you don't even want to put him - Yusuf - back on; the animal beneath your skin stirs from the pain of Charys' talons, and worse; the whip of Isabel's concern, inadvertently probing spaces of vulnerability she couldn't have known about, and you'd come so close to lashing out at her, worse than you already had. You can't go back to her, you have to put away this stalking, uncontrolled creature, otherwise she'll see you for who you are and she'll leave you. You'll be alone
again
.
"I can't take it, I can't take it I can't take it I CAN'T TAKE IT!" you suddenly shout, alarming the old drunkard riding next to you and a few other passengers. You don't even bother checking to make sure you're at the right stop, just rise with a clatter of leather and clinking buckles, shoving through the bus door and onto the concrete. Your palms come up and over your face, nails scratching red lines into your forehead and down your cheeks as you stuff down the siren call of Frenzy. To erupt here, in the streets and give in to the Savagery would be a disaster...how many dozens of these people die?
You take a breath - a humid, cool one, letting it out in a puff of steam - and a few heartbeats to acknowledge your surroundings; DuVayra Avenue and Catalan Road. Definitely a bad part of town, the masonry here is badly neglected; short buildings for The City, ten story buildings squat against the skyscrapers he could see looming over them, downtown. Fire burns in an oil drum a few meters ahead of you in an alleyway; the figures standing around it are thrown into blackened relief, the demons of your mind made manifest in the shadows of misfortunates.
It feels like fate is guiding you, once again, but to what? Relief, or to be thrown with bone-breaking force through the rapids of your atavism? If the latter, then what lay at the end?
If you follow the street a few blocks down and ask inside the Frail Maid, they'll let you take their elevator down to the 'abandoned' maintenance tunnels that run beneath much of the City, where bountiful Prey-entities dwelled among humans living beneath the law...but you aren't going down there to break into a Skitterling nest and feast on the weak, or to exterminate Spider-Ogres and crack their eggs between your teeth. The closer your steps take you to the Frail Maid, the louder it becomes...echoing up from underneath you; you can feel the heat from underneath the concrete.
You close your eyes, tracking Hell's location by sound and scent alone.
A crowd of humans who'd shucked their humanity, shrieking barbarism, their higher thought eroded by the need to see blood spilled.
The stink of piss-and-gore soaked iron grating, concrete that'd never seen the light of day, the breath of the wind.
The crack of shattered ribs; teeth knocked from smashed gums; a shriek of wordless pain.
You look up from the ground and see the unassuming dark green doorway. To your Afflicted hearing, the cacophony of The Pit was loud enough to hear above the snarl of The City's pulsing traffic, pipe-work and industry.
THE FRAIL MAID
is spray-painted across a stolen traffic sign.
It reminds you of all the horrible places so similar to it throughout Louisiana, dark holes in the earth or hidden alleys where an audience's Id-impulses were vomited into a cage, over two people trying to destroy one another. To the common passerby it might not look like anything much but the humidity leaking between the brickwork...the smell of cheap booze and meth being smoked in the bathrooms. Creaky wooden floorboards, some termite-eaten and dangerous.
So many scores were settled down here in the darkness, but you'd only ever thrown yourself down into the sweat-and-fear reeking dark to win cash and recognition for Lena's crusade; utterly selfless for her yet greedy for empty glory, to drown your
horror
at what you'd become by wounding and crippling those whose souls were twisted like yours.
Yes, you'd fought in Pits. Cages. Simple back alleys before screaming crowds.
The near-death dueling and barely regulated violence paled in the face of tearing into your ax's strings before a crowd, but...that is something Yusuf loved, and you weren't that man. Not right now.
That nameless part of you misses being this kind of animal.
You descend.
---
This harrowing begins and ends...