"WOAAHHH! HAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" I was falling. Why was I falling?! Back first, I plunged towards the unknown. The sky was an almost cotton candy-like pink and the clouds moved in all directions however they wanted, parting and colliding in irregular patterns.
I could've sworn just a moment ago, I was falling asleep in my bed. But if this was a dream, it was one that felt incredibly real.
I turned around to see the ground. My jaw dropped. I was still far up in the sky. The horizon was almost infinite and despite no sun being there, the land beneath me was brightly illuminated and colorful. Let me rephrase that, it was unnaturally colorful. Reds and pinks, royal blues and lime greens plastered the landscape.
"I... this... what is this! Where am I? STOP! NO! NO! NO!" I grunted as I speedily crashed towards the ground. Instead of the ground itself, I hit a... plant? Tree? I don't know what to call it. It had the striped stem of a candy cane and massive leaves of green gummy.
"Oww! Oof! Not in the jewels! Bap! Pff! Urgh!" Hitting branch after branch of these leafs, I slowly lost velocity until I finally gently slid off the last one closest to the ground. All I saw were blurs. It was like my eyes were rattles inside my skull.
That's why I didn't even notice that I had slid onto a stool. A stool seated at a round table with a cover that had the 4 different symbols of a card deck on its surface. I increasingly got my sight back as I straightened up and held my head.
Images swung from left to right until they focused back into one.
"Holy... brghhh... my head." I murmured. Finally, I had time to think and regain my senses. "I...I'm wearing my work uniform. What? Who... Why..." For whatever reason I was fully dressed. Neat white shirt, black sleeveless vest along with a royal blue necktie and straight black polished shoes and clean black pants.
As I adjusted my sleeves, testing how real the fabric felt, someone set a teacup down in front of me.
"You're here! You sure took some time to come down, hehehe!"
I followed the arm that placed the cup. A strange girl came into my view. Next to the table, with a silvery serving plate clutched to her chest, she stood dressed in a skin tight, wine red corset.
It struggled to contain her bust and privates and left little to the imagination. Whoever she was, she was not human. Wine red bunny ears extended from in between her hair which was split into two colors: wine red and soft pink. Her legs were massive and more like those of a bunny than a person, puffy like cotton candy and just as pink. Among all those major features that took up most of my attention, I also took note of several ribbons that were dotted across her corset and one was even tied to her floppy ear. And then there was a carrot hanging from a choker around her neck. Even stranger, it was dripping with... something. Maybe it was better I didn't know.
"I... excuse me... I think I need to get a grasp on what just happened for a second."
She giggled in response. "Hehehe, I can imagine. The first time in Wonderland is pretty wild for everyone."
"Wonderland? Where is that?"
"You're right there. We are in Wonderland."
"That's... not what I mean. Where is here?"
"What a silly question. Here is wherever you are."
"Wha... nevermind. Who do I have the pleasure of talking to?"
Her eyes flashed up a little and she clutched her platter tighter. "Pleasure? I didn't think you'd be so straight forward right away. Hmhm!"
I shook my head in confusion as she playfully cocked hers with a big smile on her face. "I... just wanted to know your name. It's considered formal where... I guess came from. I still don't know whether this is real or not."
She twirled her floppy ear with one finger and blissfully closed her eyes. "You think I'm too cute to be real? Ahaaah, you sure are a smooth talker, hmhm!" She blushed with an overacted embarrassed smile. "Don't worry, Floppy isn't going anywhere. I'm all sorts of real." Her voice took on a sultry tone as she temptingly leaned down, gazing straight into my eyes with her magenta colored ones. I could feel my heart thump and it took much to not lose my cool.
I gulped. "Y...your name is Floppy?"
"Cute, isn't it? The queen of hearts gave me that name because of my adorable ears. You already noticed them too, haven't you?" She said in a chipper tone, twirling one of her ears again while smiling with the brightest, most cheerful smile I've ever seen.
"Yeah, she wasn't wrong there. They really are pretty cute."
She squeaked with pride and bounced a little on the spot. "EEEEEE... You called me cute! This is the best birthday ever!"
"Birthday?"
She suddenly hopped over to me and settled on my lap. My breath got stuck in my throat as she she flung her arms around my neck. She touched my nose with hers and stared straight into my eyes. "Yes, it's my birthday today! And actually, I already got the best gift that I've ever gotten before!"
"And...gulp... what is that gift?" I asked, trying not to think too much about the soft body that was pressing up against me enthusiastically.
She cocked her head in thought and put a finger to her chin as she cheekily looked at me. "Hmm... I don't know how to call it. My gift hasn't really told me his name yet."
"Are...are you talking about me? Lucius. Lucius Hare. I'm a banker at... wait... did... you just imply that I'M your gift?"
"You got it! The queen of hearts herself brought you here. She really likes me a lot and I worked for her for a loooooong time. But when you work so long and so hard and all the other march hares are out getting their husbands... it makes you feel lonely after a while. So when the queen asked me what I wished for on my birthday, I told her that I wanted to have a husband too. And before I knew it, she smiled and sent me here. She said that my dream man would drop exaaaaaactly here!"
She pointed at the ground underneath the chair we sat on and only now did I notice that there was a big red X right underneath me. "Huh, now that's accuracy. Hold on!..." I shook myself out of my amazement. "This is crazy! This is not normal! This has to be a dream, right?"
Floppy just smiled as she cupped the sides of my face with her gentle, smooth hands. I couldn't help myself but to look right at her. It was the face of pure adoration. "Most people don't understand when they come to Wonderland for the first time. Everything is strange, foreign and mad. But it's okay to be mad. We're all mad down here, Lucius."
I gulped. Drawn to her fluffy, adorable body, my hands found their way around her hips, keeping her steady on top of my lap. "You're saying that like it were just natural. It wasn't longer than an hour ago that I was sitting at the bank counter. I came home and collapsed onto my bed. I can only remember how much of a stressful day it was. If I can recall so little... this can't be reality."
