Sir Reynald of Corria.
The title hovered over my head like a mark of shame.
What was once a great honor and a promise of protection of the values we held, felt like a farce now. I had defiled one of the chief god's most valiant defenders, a Valkyrie of the holy order. I felt like I had betrayed everything we paladins were supposed to stand for.
I tried to get my mind off it. The very morning after the night of our union, I decided to get up early. Maybe some fresh air and cool water would get my mind clear again. But every time, every single second my mind wandered, it went straight to her.
How unfair it was for our Chief God to set a creature of such unattainable beauty unto this earth and punish us for desiring to be close with them. Celeste occupied my every thought. The way she smiled, danced, played with the kids... and the way she lay under me, naked and... "NO! For heaven's sake, you're a knight, Reynald!"
My outburst went unheard in the fields of grain. A scythe rested weightily in my hands but had come to a standstill. I rubbed my eyes, shooing these intrusive thoughts out of my mind. What was I thinking? Celeste was an angel, a literal one at that and I kept picturing her in these depraved situations. It was a love deeper than anything I'd ever felt but wrong all the same.
I hadn't seen her since morning, leaving early as to not face her in my shame. The only thing I dreaded more than the certainty of my God's scorn, was the possibility of seeing her regret. Was I truly a good enough man to be in the presence of such a divine being, let alone be in her heart. I'd treated her like she was a normal human girl for the past few days. Maybe because I'd liked to believe she was.
They were foolish thoughts. Right now, we may be guests at this farm, but soon we would have to return to our duties. A day I dreaded more with every passing moment.
I picked and bound a bundle of wheat, shouldering it and carrying it back to the barn. It was harvesting season and gladly, though I was no expert, it seemed plentiful enough to prepare the family for the winter. God only knows how long they'd need to hold out here. I hadn't heard news from Corria since I'd gotten here. For all I knew, it could have fallen to the succubi, but if it did, the corruption sure took its time to spread if it hadn't spread here.
"Over here, Reynald! Put it int the attic with the others!" I put on a smile as I saw Corinthia approaching. She had been kind enough to give me and Celeste a home here; she deserved to be spared from the horrors of war.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming." I followed her into the barn, climbing the shoddy ladder up to the upper level and stuffed the grain with the overflowing rest of it. I smiled down at her as I leaned on the wooden steps. "You've got a good yield this year. Your cows are certainly going to be happy."
She was looking over the stuffed attic and nodded. "I'm sure they will be, Reynald." A relieved smile crossed her lips as the exhaustion of the harvest season left her body and she slumped onto a bail of hay. "Haaa... I can't thank you enough, dear paladin. You really didn't need to go to such lengths to help out a simple farmer."
I scoffed, stepping off the ladder as I wiped some grains off my white linen shirt. "Don't say that. It's the least me and Celeste can do. Would have met an early grave had you not picked us up. It's... a fair change of pace actually. It feels like a vacation at times compared to service."
Quickly, she shot me a glance and smugly grinned at me. "Speaking of the little lady..."
I gulped.
She crossed her legs and rested her elbow on her knee. "...there's more than duty binding the two of you, isn't there?"
"I... don't follow. Celeste is my guardian angel. We are bound by divination... protection and umm... partnership." I turned to her, waving my hands in denial like a moron, making my fluster even more obvious. "But there is nothing else between us, I swear."
She gave one short chuckle before her crooked smirk grew more haughty. "Whatever you say, noble knight. Seemed to me like there was a whole lot of nothing going on between you in the barn last night."
My heart sank into my stomach as the embarrassment hit me like a carriage. Vivid memories of our loud moans and cries rushed through my mind. I tried to hide the extent of my shame, and badly at that, scratching and biting my cheek. "You... you heard that, did you?"
Corinthia could no longer contain herself and burst out laughing. "Hahaha! Oh, don't worry about it!" She covered her mouth, feigning coyness.
While my face was burning up and I yelled at her, it seemed any sort of reaction I gave just spurred her laughter more. "What do you mean don't worry?! I've shamed myself for the rest of my life with what I did! I... I do not deserve to take this lightly." Walking backwards, I was stopped by a pole. I rested the back of my head against it. "I'm an affront to everything our order is supposed to stand for."
With tears in her eyes and a nonchalant attitude, she leaned toward me and blankly asked me the question I was least prepared for. "Well? Do you regret it?"
"Uh...huh..." The wind was suddenly taken out of my sails. "Regret it?" I mulled the word over in my head. Duty and faith would set a clear answer to that question. However... "I... I can't say that. I know Celeste more now than I ever have before. She was my guardian angel so she was always very important to me but now... it's something more. Something I can't put into words. She loves to sing and dance, she loves kids, she's a hard worker and most of all... she makes my worries seem so small when I'm with her. How could I bring myself to say that I regret any of that?"
She smiled, clearly satisfied and leaned back against the shoddy wooden wall with crossed arms. "It's just as I thought then."
I combed through my short, blonde hair. "Which is?"
The farmer giggled. "You love each other. I saw her this morning, Reynald. Since she's been here, I haven't seen her genuinely smile even once. But now, she carries herself with a spring in her step. Even despite her injuries, she seems more alive than she's probably ever been before the accident."
"B... but she always seemed to be happy to me."
Corinthia pouted a little and smacked me on the head. I hissed for a second before I heard her scold me. "Of course you think that, silly. Did you not notice? She always smiled when she was around you. God, you men are impossible sometimes." She held her forehead in over-dramatized exasperation which soon melted into another warm smile. "My husband used to be just like you. Never picking up on any hints we give you." She sighed as she shook her head.
My heart soared, growing light. "You mean... even back then..." My words trailed off as a grin crept up on my lips. It wasn't even intentional, but I couldn't help it.