Luke meets Kate who turns out to be very naughty.
PART 5
The following day I woke up at dawn, fully refreshed. In fact, better than fully refreshed -- I felt the best I'd felt in years.
"So you're awake," Luka piped up, "it gets so lonely in here with minimal consciousness. Just a big old empty space."
"So what are we doing today," I asked conversationally, "saving the world?"
"Hmm... you know when my last host got cheeky it ended up bad for them."
How," I asked, "Like bad, bad?"
"Well, terminal I guess."
"What the fuck?" I said.
"No, just kidding. That only happened to Anthony and Cleopatra. Well, technically Cleopatra. My last host died in his sleep. A nice peaceful death. Nothing to worry about. Truly, nothing going on there at all."
"That was you?" I asked, not quite believing my ears, "about Anthony and Cleopatra I mean."
"Erm... well yes. The greatest lover of all time. The greatest demon succubus of all time. Der, see the connection?"
"And you killed her?"
I felt a chill run down my spine.
"Well more of an accident, but that's all water under the bridge. I was young back then, impetuous and Cleo, well, she wasn't the brightest spark. I got bored, and she got jealous, and we had a bit of a falling out, so one thing led to the next. Cheeky little asp to the rescue. Yay, go asp!"
She giggled nervously.
I fell silent digesting this new bit of information. At least she'd had the good grace to feel guilty about it.
"Well, I best get back to work," I said.
"No, no work for you today. I need you to train."
"Erm do you not think Miss Johnson won't still fire my ass if I don't show up for work?"
"I'll deal with her, you pick up the phone."
I dialled her number and a sleepy voice said, "Yes, Miss Johnson here, who is this?"
Luka immediately chimed up and said, "Oh I'm sorry Miss Johnson, it's Luke here, and I won't be in work today. I think yesterday must have quite tired me out and I have a bit of a cold. Best play it safe yes?"
She spoke, or I spoke with her words as if she fully expected to be obeyed. A subtle power resonated when she spoke and I found Miss Johnson agreeing, even making excuses for me.
"Oh yes, you poor dear, we can't have you being ill. You more than deserve a day or two off... and when you come back, perhaps we can have another...erm... how should I put it, chat?"
"I think that might be possible Miss Johnson. Now you be good. Goodbye."
I put the phone down.
It was as easy as that. In more than 10 years I had never taken a sicky.
"So let's go for a walk," Luka said.
The winter sun hardly warmed the air and the fog still lay low over the fields. The birds though were chattering in the hedgerows and a vast flock of crows took flight from their overnight roost as I approached.
"So Luke we need to start training you."
"We do?" I asked. "Why?"
"Cheeky," Luka said, "I ask the questions, but since you asked so cutely I'll tell you. It's because we need to feed our appetite."
"Our appetite? Is this part of the small print you never told me about?"
Luka went silent for a moment and then chirped up, "Do you not know what a succubus is?"
"Well I never really considered it," I replied meekly.
"Ok, this is like explaining the bees and the birds to a child. A succubus is a demon that seduces men. Have you never thought why we do that?"
"Erm... it was never been a big topic of conversation in my household," I said, "You know, being a human and all."
"Well, it's no problem sweety, it's just that we have certain appetites that we need to fill, otherwise we become weak."
"Is that the royal we, or are you referring to me too?"
"You too, dear."
There was an awkward silence before Luka continued.
"So we need to teach you the sublte art of the trade, so to speak. Now on the positive side, you wouldn't believe how many lonely women are looking for a man with the right...how do I put this...qualities?"
"And I'm that man?" I asked suspiciously.
"Well not quite yet dearie, but we can work on that, but let's not let that put us off. So as I was saying, there are a lot of lonely women looking for someone like you, and as it happens I know where they all live. Now isn't that a coincidence? A demon lover knowing where all the sex-starved women are -- who would have believed it? Of course, we can't be too choosy when we start off -- we have to work with the material we've been given, but from small acorns, mighty oak trees grow."
"I can't say you're filling me with confidence," I replied glumly.
"Oh don't worry lovey, leave it all up to me."
We carried on walking past rows of terraced houses until we entered a narrow lane with a thatched cottage at the end. The garden was well kept although little was growing at this time of year.
"You know," she said as we were walking along the lanes, "you're like an old shoe."
"I am?" I asked, suspiciously.
"Yes," she replied brightly, "like an old shoe, familiar, comfortable and with a little polishing, quite good looking. What is a girl to do?" She giggled.
"And it's your job to boost my confidence, right?" I asked.
"Awww, what is the little human to do," she said in a baby voice, "cute little human."
Luka proceeded to tease me until unexpectedly she said, "Turn down here."
It was a little dirt track that I hadn't noticed before. It ended in a cul-de-sac lined by terraced cottages. I made my way along the lane until I stood outside the front gate of one of the houses.
"Well, knock on the door," Luka said.
"What?" I asked, "Just walk up to a stranger's house and knock on the door?"
"Yes," she said. "What else are you going to do?"
"If you get me in trouble then we're going to have words," I complained.
I rapped on the door and a few moments later I heard the soft shuffle of footsteps and the door cracked open.
A pleasant-looking lady in her mid-fifties looked up at me.
"Can I help you?"