The squeaky third wheel of the cart screeched in the packed grocery store, pulling the cart hard to the right before Emi pulled it back to the left. She eyed a parked cart sitting beside a display stand of mixed vegetables. It looked newer and she was sure she could move the contents to her cart before the old, bent-backed gray haired woman browsing nearby noticed.
"Any fruits?" Janelle asked, tapping a long nail against reddened lips as she turned around the area.
"What pairs well with wine?" Emi replied, sighing regretfully as they moved past the beautiful cart and its probably well-oiled wheels. "And what doesn't taste disgusting coming back up in the middle of the night?"
"Girl, how much wine are you planning to drink?" Janelle asked, cocking a slim eyebrow while looking down at her friend. "You're turning twenty-seven, not forty."
"A bottle for every year," she told her, tugging the cart back in line. "I'm single and nearing thirty. My mom keeps tagging me in posts of her friends and their brand new grandbabies. She's all like 'Oh, Emiiii, isn't this a cute baby?!' and 'Emiiiii didn't you just have your period? Aren't you ovulating? Look, Jack from your 3rd grade class just changed his status to single. I gave him your number!'"
"Come on," Janelle laughed softly.
"She did," Emi groaned, leaning forward to lay her forehead down on the handle of the cart. "Jack called me last night. He's got a kid already and he's shaped like a Matryoshka doll with less hair. The outside one. The big one. And he brays like a donkey when he laughs."
"Jesus," her friend said, shaking her head.
"I mean, yeah, it's been a bit and I could use some attention," Emi conceded. "But, Jack? Jack from 3rd grade? He used to eat mud on dares."
"What about Caleb?"
"Caleb from the club last week or Caleb that works at Starbucks?" Emi asked, turning her head to look up at her friend from the side.
"The club," came the reply.
"Dating someone else," she answered.
"But-"
"No, yeah," she sighed. "I gave him my number and he called me and flirted and set up a date. I shaved, got all ready and then looked him up."
"Why?" her friend asked.
"Why what?" Emi said.
"Why the hell would you do that?" Janelle replied.
"Because he's already dating someone else," Emi said, rolling her eyes.
"No, that's what you
found
," her friend told her. "Why would you look him up?"
"Because he's dating someone else!" she said, throwing her hands up and then grabbing the cart again when it tried to bolt. "They all are! They're all, 'Awww, Emi, you're sooo cute and small. I could just pick you up and carry you!' and then I see the ring or their kids' names as a tattoo or, whatever. I'm old, Janelle. Shriveled up. That reminds me, maybe grab some dried apricots?"
"You just need to get out more," the girl said, shaking her head. "And stop creepin' on everyone. Just relax and enjoy yourself once in a while."
"That sounds like I need even more wine," Emi groaned. "Can you grab a box of the crackers over there? Top shelf on the left? The high fiber ones because I'm
old
and basically dead and far too short to reach it myself."
Rather than answer, her friend reached up to grab a box of Ritz crackers. She placed it next to a block of asiago cheese on the crowded cart.
"Four bottles are more than enough," Janelle said. "Let's go check out. I have a surprise before we go to your apartment. Something to offset all the whining you'll be doing later about your bad taste in men."
"I
said
we'd go dancing tomorrow," Emi pouted, pushing the cart to the front of the store. "Anyways, what surprise?"
"You'll see," the other girl smiled.
---
"No. Way," Emi said, leaning forward in her car seat with a gigantic smile on her face.
The building before the car was unremarkable by itself. It loomed in the middle of a gigantic parking lot and the faded K-Mart logo was still recognizable across the facade. Workers milled about and a few cars tentatively drove into the parking lot to see what was happening to the old, abandoned store.
A homemade wooden signed proclaimed, simply: "Lady Lilith's Exotic Petting Zoo"
"No way!" Emi said again, lightly punching Janelle's arm. "Do they have pigs? Little pigs? The little ones that fit in a cup? Janelle. Janelle. Can I
buy
one of the pigs? Oh my god."
Janelle laughed as she navigated over cracks and chunks of asphalt until she reached the front of the lot.
"They aren't open yet," Janelle told her as she pulled into a space marked by faded paint. "But I called and they said they were allowing some people a special preview. I told them about the state fair we went to last year and how you spent the entire day in the barn area playing with sheep and pigs and, well, here we are."
"You are the absolute best friend," Emi sighed. She tapped her fingers on the dashboard while staring at the large store until Janelle pushed her gently with her elbow. The smaller girl opened the door with one hand while undoing her seatbelt.
"I did
not
tell them that you tried to steal a pig."
"It called to me, Janelle," Emi said. "It went right up to me and wouldn't leave me alone. It followed me around with its little curly tail wiggling and went right up to my lap. It even fits in my jacket pocket! Oh my god, so tiny."
"They were actually mad at you, Em," her friend said. "And they yelled at me, too."
"I almost made it out with little Torturo," she said, her lips pressed together and her eyes dark with the loss of her pig.