Penny set two empty wine-glasses on the coffee table with a clink. The crystalware flanked a bottle of merlot too large to be considered tasteful, but not quite box-wine levels of trashy. Trish had just broken up with her prick of a boyfriend, and enough time had passed that it was appropriate to trash-talk the bastard. Trish would, in theory, have progressed beyond basic depression and would be raring to tear into him for a couple of hours. That's where Penny, as the duly supportive best friend, came in. She had been through more of Trish's boyfriends than most people had shoes, and she knew the cycle by now. The poor girl was just
so
unlucky in love. It really was too bad - Trish was so nice. Honestly, that was half the problem. She liked to think the best of people, and thanks to her massive rack and generally spectacular figure, she pulled a lot of superficial assholes. When they inevitably revealed their true colors, Trish got her heart broken for the umpteenth time. Penny wished she could accompany her friend on dates the way she did to bars. At least when she was there she could chase away the biggest douchebags. Penny played the part of scary hen-mother, and she relished the role. Trish meant the world to her. What did it matter if she had to give up the evening to make sure her best friend was happy?
Just then, the doorbell rang. Penny trotted over to buzz Trish in, and in a few short minutes the red-haired, teary-eyed woman was slumped on the couch with a brimming glass of cheap wine held loosely in her hand. Penny was curled up next to her, legs tucked up off the floor, nodding along with Trish's enthusiastic lambasting of her ex.
"And
then,
if you can believe it, he has the
nerve
to tell me 'grilled chicken isn't exactly my favorite' after I drove for 45 godforsaken minutes in lunch-rush traffic to bring his ungrateful ass something to eat!"
"He's a child, that's all," said Penny sagely, sipping her drink.
"He is so used to mommy doing everything for him that he has no sense of perspective anymore. He thinks all the women in his life should be bending over backwards for him, that they owe him something. It wasn't a relationship between equals, it was glorified babysitting."
Trish snorted derisively, throwing back a gulp of wine herself. She was rosy-cheeked already, being something of a lush, and the alcohol had loosened her tongue considerably. She set her glass down, shedding the pale blue cardigan she was wearing, and started right back up again.
"You are one-hundred-percent right. You know he didn't know how to do his own laundry? He expected
me
to come over and do it. I asked what he did when he was single and he, ahahaha, he said he'd
drive to his moms house
and give it to her to do!"
Penny and Trish clung to each other, shaking with laughter. The mood had improved significantly after both had a couple of glasses, and Penny stood to throw something on TV. Now was the perfect time to guide the conversation away from Trish's ex and toward less gloomy grounds.
"Oh, man, you
have
to watch this show with me. It is such complete garbage and I am in
love
with it. The main character is secretly half-demon, half-angel, and she
just doesn't know
what to
do
about these hunky boys that are desperately in love with her. You're gonna love Maginus. He's, like, some kind of gay elf wizard shapeshifter who bangs his familiar. It's the best."
The next few hours passed in a blur. Penny and Trish kept up a running commentary on the trash TV they were watching, howling with mirth as the bottle of wine grew emptier and emptier. Penny was glad to see her friend forgetting her misery for a while. Trish had been so glum lately, and it was nice to see her infectious smile come back. It grew dark after a time, and when Trish glanced at the clock, she let out a dismayed little
hic
.
"Oh man! Ugh, there is no way I'm driving home tonight. I'm just gonna bum out on your couch, if ya don't mind."
Penny waved away her apologies.
"No prob, Trish. You know you're always welcome. Besides, I honestly planned for you staying. Why do you think I got a gallon of wine for the two of us?"
"Ah, you're the best. Can I nab some PJs, too?"
"Sure, you know where they are."
Penny went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Her mouth felt rather dry and wine-y, and it would be good to grab a snack, too. Penny was pulling some eggs and bacon from the fridge (breakfast for dinner is an art), when a scream from the bedroom made her drop the carton. Slick yolks splattered across the tile floor, but Penny was already gone, booking it for her bedroom.
"Trish!"
The tipsy red-head was clinging to the handle of the wardrobe with her free hand. Only one, because the other was being pulled by a sleek green vine. The encroaching vegetation was slowly winding up her wrist and along her arm, and Trish was shrieking in a panic.
"Calm down, it's okay! It's okay!"
Sobbing with terror, the panicked redhead took a shuddering breath and turned to Penny. The taller brunette had her hands up, palms out, like she was placating a wild animal.
"It's alright, it won't hurt you. Stop pulling and it'll ease up."
Penny approached Trish, gently unwinding the vine and looping it like a cable in her hand. Trish, while more collected, still seemed understandably freaked out. She was pressed up against the wardrobe, trembling and wide-eyed. Penny shooed the vines away, and they retreated to the potted plant on her nightstand. It looked quite normal when it wasn't moving. Somewhat tropical, with waxy green leaves and several large white flower buds.
"W-w-what
is
that fucking thing?!"
"Shh, it's okay. It's something I bought on my trip to Majorca last month. I didn't know what it was when I got it either, and," she laughed, "believe me when I say I was as shocked as you to find out!"
Trish didn't look very amused.
"Okay, but Penny, what the
