The Cats Meow Pt 02

The cat's meow, part 2

This time Alex is less lucky, in the sense that the porn he is currently watching

does

fall in the category

No mom I swear I slipped and then my hand hit the keyboard wrong and I accidentally pressed this weird link and now I am watching a grown man in a tutu being railed in the butt by a girl with an extra surprise between her legs wearing a rabbit costume. Also no, I was just applying some cream to the rash I have on my upper thighs.

Alex, on purpose or not, times his orgasm with the woman on screen. He is not the most vocal of cummers in the world, but he isn't completely noiseless. With some grunting and panting he crests, but just before the peak a slightly embarrassing little squeak escapes his lips. That's...OK. But still it's nice that there is nobody watch...

"That is forty-six times this week."

Alex jolts and gives a surprised yell. His heart skips at least three beats while he twists around in utter shock, nearly falling off his chair. It's

her

, languidly lying on his bed, without her face mask. She's looking at him like, em... the cat that ate the canary.

He just stands there, panting and stupefied, while the sound of porn playing is going on in the background. In his shock he has forgotten about his hard cock and his impending climax, but now he follows her eyes downward. His cock is throbbing, the ejaculation too close to be aborted. But without further stimulation the worst thing happens: his dick starts spewing semen, but without any of the blissful feelings that are supposed to go with it. A ruined orgasm.

"What the fuck!?" He covers his dick, that keeps on dripping seed, with both his hands. That means he has to let go of his pants that he was holding up. They drop to the floor with a soft thud, the perfect punctuation to go with the most embarrassing moment of his life. "Stop staring! Also, you just ruined my orgasm."

She slowly raises her eyebrows, and her gaze up to his face. As if to say

I will take my sweet time thank you very much.

"That's the first thing you say to me after a whole week?" Gods, the smirk. "Why would I stop staring, I watched all the other forty five times..."

"You counted huh? What, you're a cumshot accountant?" Alex is trying to get his clothes back on in the most dignified way possible. Which is really not very dignified, given the circumstances.

She looks pleasantly surprised. "Oh, is

that

what accountants do? I never figured that out. They count! Ac

count

ant! Other cats can only count to three, but I can count much further. Over a hundred, I tried once." Is she pulling his leg? He would not mind pulling his own leg a bit more, to save the last remnants of his lost orgasm. It really is awful. He did extensive research once and has not the slightest clue what attracts people in ruined orgasms. Then again, the same people who make content with ruined orgasms also make videos about kicking their poor husbands in the balls. Equally unattractive.

Shit, that smell. Is it her? Or do ruined orgasms smell like dumpster? "Um, can you just like, turn around for a minute while I sort my stuff out here?"

"Ugh. OK." She rolls over on his bed to face the window. Ah... the window. With her back turned towards him he can see that she has a hole ripped in her pants where her tail sticks through. It's bushy, brown but with a lighter tip, and incredibly long. She's still in the same clothes as last time he saw her. But without the face mask, hoody and

with

the tail she looks so much more like a cat. It's harder to not feel like a mouse this way.

"Are you sorting your stuff out or are you looking at my ass?"

Alex quickly goes to work with kleenex, pants, boxers and he closes the browser. Her ass

is

fine, especially with that sexy tail, but definitely not big. In fact, she looks thinner overall than last week, even through the layers of clothing. Can you lose so much weight in a week that it's noticeable?

"So, are you going to tell me why you broke into my house? And spy on me? I have a doorbell you know, if you had rung it I would have let you in."

"Can I turn around?"

Pfff. The audacity. "Yeah alright."

She rolls over again and sits up. "Oh. You can leave the porn on if you want to. I wouldn't want you to adjust because I'm here. I know I'm not going to."

"Can we stop talking about my, em, what I do in my free time and start talking about the break in?" He tries to sound stern, but it doesn't work.

"I didn't break in! Look, you can just..." she crawls to the window, waving that impossible tail, and shows him where it doesn't close perfectly, "stick a claw in there and lift and... whoop, there goes the latch!" She looks so proud. "See, nothing broken!"

"That doesn't mean it's not a br... But what about the spying! I Mean..." He falters. He is shouting at a cat-human hybrid. That may just be a very dumb approach.

"Em, actually. Are you hungry, would you like something to..."

"Yes! Yep, yep super hungry. Get me food please, great plan..." she bounces off the bed and collides with him. She rubs her head against his shoulder. Oh jeez... the smell is definitely her.

_____________________________

Shouldn't she chew her food? It's probably not something cats are really big on, but she must be mostly human right? He is kind of enjoying watching her revel in the fact that there are unlimited meatballs, but are exploding stomachs an actual thing?

"Because..." she mumbles with her mouth half full, "you put my glove back on inside out you dumbass. I knew immediately when I woke up that second time. You were super sus when you shone your flashlight in my eyes."

"Well, I was checking if you had lenses in."

"Yes but the thing is, you were being too obvious about it. You could never be a secret agent."

"You have them in now." Alex is in two minds about it. Does he want to see her eyes? Will she look evil?

"They hurt. They hurt like a motherfucker. I've had them in all week and they're dirty but I have to put them back in every morning or I will be found out and taken apart in a laboratory. For parts." Her eating speed is going down now that she's halfway through her fourth plate of meatballs with ketchup.

"You can take them out now if you want to. I'll put them in a glass?"

"When I have the tail in my pants that also sucks. Better through the hole, but no pants is even better."

"Em, should I say you can take your pants off too?"

"Fuck you." She stretches. "OK, give me a glass."

Alex gets her a glass and sits down next to her on the bed. She pops her lenses out with a sigh. "So, so much better." She licks her hand and smears it over her eye.

"Don't do that! Your hands are gross, salty and covered in ketchup. Your eye is not getting any better that way."

She makes an exasperated gesture.

Alex can't control his curiosity anymore. "Can I...can I see?"

She looks at him with both eyes wide open. "Yep, human, feast your eyes, on my eyes. Weirdass."

Wow, they're... like in movies. Big slit pupils. When you see cartoons or, in Alex's case more often, porn, with human animal hybrids they will mostly look...acceptable. Like, so close to a human face that you find it different, but cute different. But with her... in reality... it's just a bit scary. Intriguing, but scary. She could still be cute, with the big eyes and the whiskers and all, but she does not look very human at all. Up close. Alex finds he keeps looking at the things that look different from humans and less at the things they have in common. The eyes are very much not human.

"What em... is your name?"

"Mimi. What's yours?"

"Mimi? You're a catgirl and you're called

Mimi

? Ahem..." Alex clears his throat. Let's keep it civil... "Is that an em... common name for cats?"

"Pff. I don't know,

Alex

. My cat memories are more like meeow meeow, not Mimi here and Oscar there. I'm kinda thinking my neighbour cats from back then were called

hey!

and

kitty kitty kitty.

As in..."

"Yeah, I get it, as in

come here, kitty kitty kitty.

If you already know my name, why did you ask what it was anyway?

"

So, Alex thinks to himself. There is a

back then.

If he understands what she is saying, she thinks she was a cat up to some point and then

changed into

a human. Or em, almost a human.

"Also, I'm not a catgirl."

"What?"

"I'm not a catgirl. If you're a

cat-girl,

that would mean you're a girl, that is catlike. I am not that at all. More the opposite. I'm a cat who happens to be stuck in a girl's body. That makes me a

girl cat

, not a catgirl. See?"

That's...eloquent. Which is a weird combo with

I counted to over a hundred once

.

"Aaahhh...." She stretches her limbs, "I am fed, warm and relaxed. You may pet me now." She lets herself fall sideways into his lap, nuzzling up against his stomach. Her hair is bushy and soft, with her two cat ears sticking out of it like hairy sailboats on a brown stormy ocean.

"I ehh... petting. Are you sure?"

"Humans love to pet cats. So I am gracefully allowing you to."

Gods. Alex doesn't want to cross any invisible boundaries, but since

she

has already crossed every possible boundary he supposes he can em, pet her.

"And... where? I mean, what part of you can I..."

"Behind the ears. Yes, oh fuck yeah right there. And in my neck. My belly. But you can't do that now with my uniform on. Also under the chin. Just... everywhere."

Alex tentatively starts scratching her ears and stroking her neck. The hair on her head extends all the way down her neck and down her shoulders. Only most of her face and neckline remain hairless. Would her titties... Oh come on Alex, show some respect. This is a vulnerable damsel in distress, disguised as a confident predator who has been spying on him for a week. She melts into the touch and starts purring. It sure feels weird to pet a grown woman. The hairiness does kinda help in that respect. It would be even more awkward to pet her on bare skin. Her fur feels very different from human hair. So soft.

"Is this...how it's supposed to be?"

"I don't know. You're the human. I only do this to humour you." Her body language tells a different story though, always seeking more contact. Like somebody who is touch starved and needs to catch up. Alex must admit he also em... Man,her neck is so long. He moves his fingers over her jaw muscles and softly scratches. She is skin on bones though.

"Did you... get something to eat last week?"

"I can take care of myself! Cats can live on the streets. We're good at that. You know, stealing fish and catching mice and all that."

That is doubtful at least. "Stealing fish is from Disney movies dude. You are em... not to want to insult you...skinny and em...you smell like a hobo. Where did you even sleep last week?"

"Hmpf!" There is a bit of a furtive look in her eyes. If you can get that from a cat's face... But she can't help glancing in the direction of the window. Wait a minute. If she actually counted how many times he jacked off in one week, she must have been at that window like... 24/7. Alex gets up, ignoring her groans and pushes the window open. His city is not the coldest, but it's fall, and the gust of wind is still bone chilling. No fur is going to help that. The window opens onto the neighbours roof. In the middle of the city this is actually an advantage, because although it means that Alex has no view on this side of his house, he does have the light and nobody can look in. Normally. Which is why he feels completely unbothered jacking off to embarrassing porn with his back to that window. He sticks his head out and sure enough... in the nook between the neighbours smoke stack and his rain gutter, on a ledge not more than two hands wide... some cardboard, a few scraps of cloth. An insulated boot, but only one...

"Shit, em, Mimi!" The name is still an adjustment. "Did you really...?"

She studies her nails. Make that claws.

"Did you..." if Alex has been paying attention, she is probably going to resent this question, "...actually catch any mice?"

"Grmm!" She rolls her eyes. That is unsettling. Human eyes have round pupils, so if you roll them it looks sort of... mathematically possible. Rolling eyes with slit pupils look like they should actually scratch the eye sockets. "They're just so small! Stupid little things. And all these human limbs are so huge and...unwieldy! I found some food round the back of the burger joint..."

"Well that explains why you smell like a dumpster. You've been slumming it in a rain gutter, and eating trash."

"A dumpster! Is that the one where the woman pretends to not care and just reads her book or plays video games while he fucks her from behind?"

Alex stutters. "Em that is... I wouldn't normally..."

"And then when he shoots his seed inside her and he pulls out and they show the little pink pussy..." Mimi's legs twitch. "and a drop of it gets pushed out. Oh, and I know!" She's bouncing up and down excitedly... "They take a marker and write

dick here

on her butt and an arrow points at her pussy!"

Alex doesn't know where to look. He is flushed and embarrassed. "It's a roleplay..." he squeaks. "The woman consents and is like... totally into it herself, I swear."

"Also when they write

cum slut

on her boobs?"

"It's, ahem, a fantasy.

Cum dumpster

. Because a dumpster is where people dump their trash. That is what you smell off right now. And then she plays a

cum dumpster

because you can freely dump your cum... It sounds really bad when I say it like that. I don't feel comfortable talking about it..."

"So I smell like a garbage can?" She looks somewhat pouty. Alex is getting better at reading her facial expressions.

"Girl..."

"Cat!"

"Sorry. Cat... you smell way worse than a garbage can. You need a shower right now."

"Right. Showers work as follows." Mimi turns on her lecture mode and even holds up a finger. Em, paw? "You turn on the water. I see you doing that, so I know what's going to happen. I have a fit. I try to bolt through the window, but you have foreseen my every move and locked it beforehand."

"I'm not gonna..."

"Nuh uh, not done yet. While the water heats up, you put on a pair of gloves and these fireworks glasses. Hairballs I hate fireworks by the way. Then you chase me into a corner. I will fight you, but in the end you hold me under my front armpits..."

"Front?"

She looks confused. Her eyes flick from her armpits to her legs. Ah, now Alex gets it. "No, the ones in the back are not called armpits. They're not even your arms, they're legs."

"Oh. Learn something new every day I guess. Right. Where was I? Oh yes. Then you push me under the horrible shower and hold me there while I struggle."

"With your clothes and all?"

"No dummy. Anyway, I get totally soaked and I will whine constantly. Listen, I'll demonstrate." Mimi lets out a mournful, long meow. "By this time you will probably be swearing loads, because I scratched your face and your clothes are all wet."

Alex shakes his head. "No, we're not doing any of that. The deal is simple. If you don't want me to kick you out this very second, you're taking a shower. And I'm washing these clothes. You look as if you've had them on non-stop since last week." Wow! Alex is impressed with his own sternness. Great speech, if he says so himself.

She deflates. "Owkay..."

Huh? "Just like that?"

"Jeah well... I know how to take a shower. I just hate it. And you did rescue my bike."

Alex is confused. "Why did you do the whole rundown then? And, whose face did you scratch by the way?"

A guardedness creeps over her face. "Nobody's. I mean, I just saw that on TV."

"Where do you watch TV, normally?"

"Em..." her glare deepens, "I... there is... em. The TV store. You know, they have TV's and they are on all day. And you can see them from outside. There is... a window sill. And you can watch TV."

Right... "And you saw somebody try to shower their cat?"

She's fidgeting. "Ah, no. Not really. I... I mean I remember that from back when I was still a cat. Yes, that's it."

"I thought your memories were like... murky?" Alex feels that he is reaching the end of her rope here.

"Hmpf. Do you want me to take the torture shower or not?"

"Yes. I can not stress enough how badly I want you to take a shower."

___________

Alex is standing at the bathroom door. She's in there, and if he interprets the sounds correctly she has taken off her clothes. That means she's naked. Covered in nothing but her fur. Fuck, he really wants to know if her boobs are furry or not. And... would there be fur on her pussy lips? Like, if you would spread her furry and soft outer labia, would there be a dramatic reveal of her glistening inner folds, with a clear drop of forming at the...

She hasn't locked the door. But there is no way Alex is going to try opening it. She'd probably scratch his eyes out. Why do bathroom doors not have keyholes? Alex tries to make as little noise as possible as he gets on his knees. Sadly, spying under the door only rubs the fact that he needs to clean better in his face. Literally.

_____________

Mimi hates showers, because all cats hate showers. She doesn't know if anybody else has ever made an extensive list of the reasons that cats hate showers, but Mimi makes one

every time

she has to take a fucking shower. On top of the list is the fact that showers are

wet.

The main reason cats hate getting wet is that their fur will soak all the way through, leaving them wet, miserable and shivering for hours. Not every cat has the luxury of a warm house and an attentive owner with a soft towel. The dislike is deeply ingrained. Angry owners who forcibly hold you under the shower (reason four) to get rid of the wonderful smell of rotting fish that you worked so hard to achieve (reason three) don't really help in that regard.

But, and this Mimi thinks must be the reason that humans are least likely to think of, a good second place goes to the deafening and frankly painful

noise

that showers make. Easy for humans, with their stupid ears that hardly even work and are conveniently placed on the side of their heads. But you try holding your head under a warm sprinkly waterfall when your ears are fuzzy, super sharp and placed on top of your head. Ugh. If it weren't for Alex's threat to kick her out she would never have gotten under the evil contraption in the first place.

She does her head first. Get the worst part over with. Head under the water. Mimi manages about three seconds. Then the gooey stuff from the bottle. Shampoo for everything. Mimi knows this. Other people use a different bottle for their body, but shampoo is for hair, and Mimi has hair all over the place. Ugh the soapy bubbly stuff gets everywhere.

She winces as she rinses her head and ears off. No matter how much you flatten your ears, the drumming is still torture and there is bound to get at least some water in your ears. That's gonna be a nightmare. You're probably thinking

but what if it rains.

Well, cats also hate rain. So there.

The worst part is over though. She lowers the shower head so that only her body gets sprayed on. Ha, much better. Time to get nice and clean, so he can pet her without making these gagging noises. He tried to suppress them, but Mimi's hearing is much, much better than that of a human, so that didn't help. It is sweet. That he tried to hide the fact that her smell made him nearly throw up. Mimi suspects that as humans go, this one is actually nice. She knows that not all pet owners are good. I mean, he fed her, he didn't kick her out. A hundred percent score there. He seems to hate that she watches him when he surfs porn and jerks off. Weird. Cats will lick their own asshole in front of their owner no problem.