**Poor Aksun. Already beginning to feel a loss, not knowing what she'll do now and drawn to Elohan at the same time. Now that's got to be a bucketload of emotions all at once. Fear and uncertainty, a little bit of hopefulness, and yet a guilty sense to that just the same.
She can't figure it out, but she does know that she feels better when he's near her. Maybe that'll be good enough, maybe not.
Even in my fiction, my characters are at least a little real in terms of their fallibility. They're not quite perfect, just like everyone else, I guess. o_O
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The next morning, Aksun came to knock on the camper door. Elohan came from behind her. He wasn't doing anything differently, he was only walking, but to almost all humans, his footfalls would have carried no sound. He'd just finished cleaning out the camper and had gone to dump the cleaning rags and paper towels in the bin out behind the barn.
Aksun turned around, "See? I am learning to feel it when you are near to me." But then he watched her face fall a little as she remembered what she'd come for.
"I will make our meal this morning."
In the kitchen, Elohan watched as she tried to prepare breakfast. He could tell that she'd likely done this a thousand times, but it looked like nothing was working for her today. She almost dropped the bacon. She'd made a perfect pot of coffee β for one which contained no coffee, since she'd been too distracted to remember to measure it out into the pot. When her frustration caused her to hold onto the handle of the frying pan, looking as though she wanted to throw it, he told her to sit and he'd make breakfast. She sat, looking miserable as he began on the bacon.
In a minute, Aksun began to speak quietly. "Donna does not feel well. She will let me lie with her, but she asks that I don't try to love with her. She says that she doesn't have the breath for it anymore and it makes her chest hurt her."
He could see that all of this was weighing on her, though she was plainly trying to put a calm face on everything and hold it together. It was quite plain to him that Aksun was upset and confused. The feeling that he got from her told him that she was torn in several directions, and didn't really have a handle on any of them.
"She also says that I am to sleep with you or near to you now." Aksun looked down and stared at her human hands, "She says that it is important to her that I begin to feel like I belong with you now."
She looked up at the ceiling and he could tell that she was fighting back tears, "I do not want to do this, Elohan," she looked at him, "And yet I want to do it very much at the same time. I don't know what is wrong with me."
She looked at his back as he turned the bacon and spoke over his shoulder, "I know what's wrong, and it's ok. I think that besides not feeling well, she's pushing you away a little bit because she's trying to prepare you. I think that it's the only way that she can think of."
He set the bacon aside and drained the pan. "What you feel is a need to be comforted and loved in a setting where everything that you knew and were accustomed to is shifting under your feet."
He cracked her eggs, "I think that it's more important for you to do whatever feels right to you. Sleep with her and comfort her. If she gets upset at you for it, then go and sleep in the camper. I'll leave the door open and sleep in my room upstairs. If you don't find comfort like that, you can sleep near me or with me, whatever makes you feel best." He looked at her after checking the eggs, "I'm certainly not going to do anything but try to comfort you as much as I can and only if you want that."
She smiled at him a little, "I know that. I feel better when I am near you. Will you pray tonight?"
He nodded, flipping the eggs, "Yes. Tonight will be the last night when the moon is full. I want to pray for her and you both. It will take some time."
"You will pray that I will love you, after?"
He shook his head, "No, I'll pray that something happens and Donna gets better so that you can go on as before."
She shook her head, "That is not possible anymore, that we go on as before, but thank you for the thought. No, if something happens as you say and she gets better somehow, it will be different and very difficult. I know Donna and I know myself. We will embarrass you, because you will then have two females who love you and each other, and we both will not be able to stop ourselves from wanting this."
He stood looking at her and his hands slowly went to his sides. The look on his face caused Aksun to laugh in spite of how she felt. "Calm yourself, Elohan, it cannot happen that way, can it?"
She got up and walked to him. Putting her arm around him, she sighed, "She told me that I am to try to learn your ways from you. She said that I have to ask you to teach me the musical way that you speak in your language, and learn to pray the way that you do. I want this too, if you can even teach it to me. If we become a pair later as Donna wants, then I want this. I have had nothing to believe in the whole time that I have been here, other than Donna. If I can, then I would like to kneel beside you and help you to pray for her, if you would let me."
He nodded and smiled, "You wish to become an elf, Aksun? I think you'd make a lovely elf-maiden. Sure, I'll teach you."
They sat at the table eating breakfast. More correctly, Elohan was eating.
Aksun was only pushing things around on her plate, sniffling now and then.
She looked up for a moment, doing her best to try to be a little less miserable. She looked at him and tried hard to be objective and serious. She knew that they liked each other, and it wasn't even a very long jump to see that something could easily grow between them, as different from each other as they were.
The thought came to her that based on what she'd seen on him as his reproductive organs, she didn't really know how it was to be done with a creature such as he was, other than the commonality of the insertion of the male organ into the female one. She knew that what had happened between her and Donna had been more good fortune and blind luck than design, and now she wondered about the mechanics of loving someone like him physically. They weren't exactly made for each other.
But she knew that she liked him enough to want this, and decided at last that if they grew close, then they'd have to see what was possible, and what wasn't. She was the odd one here.
She knew that even though he was different from humans, he was enough like them, from what he'd said that he could love one.
Maybe he could love her as well, she thought. She had already decided that she could love him on an emotional level somehow, so she resolved that if it happened, she would try to learn what it was that pleased him. Even if any sort of real mating wasn't possible, she'd do what she could, and hope that he'd try to help her as well.