Chapter 41: The Horny Tom
Breakfast on the terrace. A turning point. Bruce had arranged the barbeque area in the same fashion as the one in his yard. The banquet table was a bit larger though, easily seating around thirty people.
There was another innovation. One of the new girls was helping him with the cooking, he was obviously teaching her his methods. Three others brought the food to the table. They were dressed in the style of medieval serving wenches, aprons, billowing skirts and bodices that generously displayed their ample charms. They looked like they were having a lot of fun, bending forward at every opportunity to grant even better looks at their wares. There was a lot of giggling and joking around. Breakfast had just become a lot livelier. The moment the food was on the table the girls sat down with us to have their meal.
After the meal the discussion came around to naming the place. Vulcan stood up and pulled a sign out of the air. It was about three by four feet wide and done in the style of an old fashioned English pub sign, with a picture and a name underneath.
The picture showed a disreputable looking huge grey tom cat with enormous goolies, on the prowl, on a yellow background. He sported a horn on his forehead like a unicorn. The sign read Horny Tom. Vulcan fastened it above the front door and stepped back to admire his handiwork.
There was thunderous applause. Gadeirus congratulated him.
"I only made the sign," he said, "the credit belongs to the new girls, they asked me to make it."
More applause; for the girls this time. I guessed this meant we would be drinking in the Horny Tom from now on.
Marge cleared the table with a wave of her hand and stocked it with ice buckets, French champagne and fluted glasses. The breakfast had just turned into a party. To my surprise everyone was very orderly and only drank a couple of glasses. An hour later all were back at work.
Algenon and Frank had moved to another table and were going over some computer printouts. They waved across to me and gestured for me to join them. I did as I was bid.
"We are getting somewhere with sorting out the time line and retrieving the records of the Ancients. Frank made a real breakthrough. I should have seen it myself, but Frank spotted it." Algenon seemed a little embarrassed.
"As you know the dates of the records are updated once every week to the current date. That means that, as far as the system is concerned, there are no records in existence older than one week."
"Yes, I remember that."
"Frank asked me if I had any idea how long the system had been idle. I told him that Endora had said it had not been used for millennia when we first asked her about it. So Frank asked how she could possibly know this if there were no records older than one week. When the question was put to Endora she said she just knew, but didn't know how."
"That's when it hit me," said Frank. "Endora lies about certain things. She is unbelievably powerful, but intuitive knowledge is quite outside her capabilities."
"That is very tenuous proof that she lies." I was not convinced Frank was right.
"On its own, yes. AIs cannot lie, unless they are given specific instructions to give false answers to certain questions. This is the case here. Once I realised that Endora was deliberately giving us false information her whole web of lies became suddenly obvious. The only reason we couldn't see it was because we had never questioned her integrity."
"Give me an example."
"For the system to function Endora has to know where each power spot is in relation to whatever reference point she uses. Now, if you go from Sydney to London that is very easy since the direction and distance between the two cities is always the same on Earth. The power spots however are on different worlds and in different universes where everything is in constant motion relative to each other. For the system to function Endora must compute the precise location of power spots afresh each time they are used. To be able to do this she must compute the movement of the power spot in relation to her reference point at the time in question. This requires unbelievably precise time keeping, and a host of historical data, something that cannot be done in a world that is only one week old as far as she is concerned."
I thought about this for a while and came to the conclusion Frank was right.
"So how are you going to unscramble this?" I asked.
"We have to find the instructions that cause the lies. Once we get rid of these everything will be there, the timeline, the records of the Ancients, everything."
"And how do you propose to go about it?"
"From a maintenance terminal, using a debugging programme. Now that we know what she does it's not all that difficult. We will ask Endora a number of questions. To some the answers will be true, to others false, depending on what we ask. By monitoring her we can find out what subroutine she goes into on questions where she is supposed to lie. That subroutine will not run when she tells the truth. It'll take some time, but it can be done."
"But won't she spot what you are doing and stop you?"
"Unlikely. Monitoring and debugging programmes are transparent to the operating system. If it were not so you couldn't debug."
This was good news indeed. I thanked Frank and Algenon and went to my cabin. I poured myself a beer and lit a cigarette. When I handled Lachesis' cigarette case I remembered I had promised the Fates I would discuss their dilemma with Marge and Kia. Using the case as a medium I called Marge. A short time later she was with me.
"Feeling horny, are we?"
"No Marge, we need to talk. You can have a nookie afterwards, if you like."
"Oh, I like. What's up?"
"Do you know where Kia is, we should really have her here too."
Marge traced a pattern in the air and said something in a language I did not understand. The moment she finished Kia stood in the room. We both gave her some scratchies and got our lick across the face as a greeting.
I explained the dilemma with the fates and how I had promised Atropos to discuss it with them.
"This is not as big a problem as you might think," said Kia. "I can sort this out with ease, if the controllers of the Fates let me."
"You know how to contact them?" I was flabbergasted.
"No, but Lachesis knows and what Lachesis knows I know ... if I want to. I shall go and see her."
With that Kia disappeared.
"Just as well Kia loves us," said Marge. "I dread to think what she is capable of if the situation were different. She is by far the most powerful creature we know of.
"But, be that as it may, you promised a nookie."
A nookie it was.
"You know, Marge," I said to her during our post coital embrace, "you are the closest thing to a wife I've ever had."
"I know. Me and Hera, both. You have two half wives."
"Hera?"
"Oh yes, Hera is very much in love with you. You are only the second man she ever had in her life, and now, since she and Zeus have reverted back to being brother and sister again, you are the only one. She still plays with the girls, but then, nearly all the Goddesses do. It's part of what we are."
"I thought all she was interested in was the sex."
"You couldn't be more wrong. That first time, when you were really angry with her and fucked her out of spite, you still cared enough about her to make sure she had her orgasms before you had yours. That was new to her. Zeus fucked her when he felt like it, if she happened to get off while he was at it that was a bonus, if she didn't, he couldn't give a shit, as long as he got what he wanted. To him she was little more than a possession. That is not to say there isn't any affection between the two, but it isn't, and never was, love. It was you who showed her that."
"How do you know all this?"
"She told me. Since you came into the picture she called on me a few times, ostensibly for some sex, but when it came down to it it was mostly to find out more about you. We've had sex before, usually at some hen party or other, never one on one though. We've become quite close. She calls me her sister wife.
"You treat her like a woman, not like the Supreme Goddess. She likes that. She finds it irresistible that you show her respect and affection without subservience. No one else does that, perhaps apart from me. I do pretty much the same now, I've learned that from you.
"Well, lover boy, all that talk got me horny again. Fancy another round?"
I did.
Chapter 42: Betty
Next day, after breakfast, Betty asked if she could talk to me for a while. We went to a separate table on the veranda and took some coffee with us.
"I just spoke to Panacea," she said. "She tells me Frank and I can have sex again. It is safe now. You know what that means, don't you?"
I had no idea what she was talking about. She must have seen the confusion in my face.
"You have forgotten, haven't you?" she chastised me. "Remember when we were in front of the mirror after my treatment? I promised you my second cherry then. Can I share your bed tonight so I can thank you properly for all you have done for us?"
"What about Frank?"
"Oh, Frank will be thanking Marge. She has already agreed. She said she will cook dinner for the four of us before we retire to our respective beds."
"You got yourself a party," I said to Betty, sealing the bargain with a kiss.
"Now that this is out of the road, back to business. I need you to do something for me."
"What can I do for you, Betty?"
"I want a video link with the people on the other planet. A big screen, say about six feet wide, inbuilt translators, something suitable for conference calls. There is a conference room in the Horny Tom that holds about twenty people. I want it installed there. The other terminal should be somewhere in the temple. I need this as soon as possible. When the delegation arrives they can stay in touch with home. If we can get it done quickly we can get them used to it before they come here."
"This is a job for Darrin, let me call him."
I called Darrin via Endora and asked him to join us. He arrived shortly thereafter and I explained to him what Betty wanted.
"You never ask for anything easy, do you?" he grumbled.
"If I needed something easy I would ask a mechanic, not a genius."
