The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
*****
Ever since I have been adult I have appreciated women's breasts but they can be a distraction. Pauline's were distracting me now, and she knows they are.
She sits facing me at work. On the back of her desk and mine is a rack of manuals about a foot high. Every time I lift my head I am looking straight at Pauline, and she is looking back at me. That is useful when we want to consult about our work, but disconcerting whenever she or I stand up. Why?
Her breasts are large, firm and prominent. She knows they are, and dresses to emphasise her assets. Her cleavage is usually covered to comply with our company's dress code. Pauline pushes that code to its limit with tight tops that are just short of transparent. Every time she or I stand up I am looking straight at Pauline's breasts.
Sometimes, when I have those sort of dreams, Pauline's breasts feature strongly. I dream about touching them, holding them, kissing them and sucking on them. When I get to the 'sucking' I usually have a damp patch in my bed. Yet I had never really experienced them, nor any part of Pauline. The most contact I had ever had with Pauline was a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek after I helped her with an awkward piece of work.
I had danced with Pauline at the office Christmas Party. She had just parted with Stephen who had been her accepted boyfriend for about six months. It hadn't been a dramatic break. They had decided they weren't compatible for a longer relationship.
Pauline had often talked to me about her relationship with Stephen. She had been using me as a sympathetic ear, someone who wasn't involved. I was treated and behaved as a friend.
Towards the end of the party Pauline was sad and slightly drunk. The group she was with were all dancing and had left her sitting alone. I could see she was close to crying. I thought of Pauline as a friend as well as an office colleague. I pulled her to her feet and held her through a slow romantic dance.
She clung to me through that dance resting her head against my shoulder. I was about to take her back to her friends. She resisted slightly.
"Another dance, please, Ian?" She asked.
"Of course," I replied to the top of her head as she settled herself back against my shoulder.
That dance was followed by another. When the next energetic dance started I led Pauline to a quiet corner. I sat down with her snuggled on my lap, her head still on my shoulder. She was almost asleep. I wasn't. I was too well aware of a large breast with its erect nipple digging into my chest.
At the end of the party she had rejoined her friends. I went back to my now lonely seeming flat. That night I dreamed of Pauline and her breasts. My hands reached for them, caressed, cuddled, stroked. Those erect nipples responded. My dream ended with my lips resting around a nipple - and another wet patch.
At work Pauline and I resumed our normal relationship, ignoring the closeness we had had at the party. But I dreamed of Pauline's breasts most nights. I was very reluctant to act. If I asked Pauline out, and she refused, we would still have to face each other very day, a few feet apart.
I knew too much about Pauline. She knew too much about me. We could hear each other's private telephone calls. We overheard everything our office friends said to us.
I knew that Pauline was into witchcraft and was an apprentice witch. I heard her arranging to meet the coven she hoped to join. I knew that her ambition to be a witch had been the cause of the final split between her and Stephen. He thought modern witchcraft was nonsense. He couldn't share her enthusiasm.
I didn't understand witchcraft, or even whether it worked, but it was important to Pauline. I wouldn't ridicule it, or her interest in it. Stephen had been very dismissive, and that had hurt her.
One of our colleagues was the catalyst for the change in our relationship. One Friday afternoon I was planning to drive to a Youth Hostel in Kent and spend the long Bank Holiday weekend walking the countryside. I was due back at work Tuesday morning. My rucksack was packed. My car was parked in a car park near the office.
James came rushing in to our room.
"Pauline, Ian!" He exclaimed. "Can you use two tickets for Sadlers' Wells tonight? I was going with my wife, but her Mum has gone into hospital and we have to look after Dad."
James is one of the older workers in our office. His wife's parents are in their late eighties and frail. They can cope together but not alone.
Pauline held out her hand.
"Yes, James. Thank you."
James gave her the tickets and was gone.
"Ian," Pauline said. "You'll enjoy it. You can go to the Youth Hostel tomorrow morning, but tonight you are taking me to Sadlers' Wells."
"If you say so, Pauline," I said. "I would be delighted to be your escort tonight. I suppose I can go in my office suit?"
"Of course you can, but I'll have to change. Can you pick me up at quarter to seven? The performance starts at seven thirty."
"I will be there, Pauline, with my trusty vehicle. I know where I can park near Sadlers' Wells."
We resumed our office work. As always on a Friday we had tasks that had to be done before the weekend. I couldn't concentrate as well as I should. I was going out with Pauline this evening. She hadn't asked me. She had told me.
I hadn't asked what we were going to see.
I collected Pauline on time. She had a coat wrapped around her but I could see she was dressed up. She had a full-skirted dress, nylons and high heels. I felt that I should be wearing an evening suit to go with her. When she shed her coat to leave it in the car, I knew I should have changed. Her bright red dress emphasised her breasts. Her cleavage was more obvious than it had ever been at work.
Our seats were in the front row of the stalls.
The Sadlers' Wells Ballet was staging Giselle.
It was a wonderful evening even if we were really too close to the stage. We could see the strain on the dancers' faces. I bought Pauline a Babycham - her choice - in the interval. She wrinkled her nose as she drank. She admitted that she had never had a Babycham before, and didn't like it.
As we left the theatre Pauline slipped her arm into mine. Out of the lighted area her arm slid around my waist and pulled me close. My arm went around her shoulder. In the car she had covered herself with her coat for the short drive to her flat.
As I stopped, she suddenly said:
"Park the car, Ian. You're coming in for a coffee."
I parked. I already knew I wouldn't be going to the Youth Hostel tonight. I would arrive long after they had shut for the night. I could go tomorrow morning.
"Is it OK to leave my rucksack in the car? Or are there car thieves around?"
"I don't know, Ian. Bring it in," Pauline replied.
I followed her up the stairs to her flat. I could see nylon covered legs, a bulky petticoat splaying her skirt, and an occasional flash of thigh above the stockings. I appreciated the view yet it didn't have the impact of Pauline's breasts.
As she hung up her coat I put my rucksack down in the small hall of Pauline's flat. I followed her through to the tiny kitchen and perched on a stool while she made the coffee.
"Sorry Ian," she said, "I have run out of real milk. It will have to be made up from milk powder."
She picked up an unlabelled screw top jar half full of white powder.
I didn't care. I was in Pauline's flat, with Pauline. The coffee could have been made from burnt toast crumbs. She made a production of mixing the milk powder and water in my mug before adding the coffee. She then made another batch for her mug. I would have thought it easier to make milk for both of us, but I was much more interested in the way her breasts strained against the bodice of her dress as she moved.
I could only see her breasts sometimes because her back was towards me as she made the coffee.
Pauline put the coffee mugs on the work surface and pulled up another stool beside me. Her skirted leg was pressing against mine.
"Why don't you take your jacket and tie off, Ian?
We're not at work now."
I shrugged. Did it matter? But I did as she asked. She took them into the hall and hung them next to her coat. I tried the coffee. It was still too hot to drink. I put the mug down again.
"You know why I split up with Stephen?"
"I think so. Was it because he didn't understand your interest in witchcraft?"
"That was the last straw that broke the relationship. There were others. Stephen thought I should move in with him because he has a larger flat. But this is mine. He is renting. My flat may be small but I'm buying it with a mortgage. I might want a larger one in time but I'd want to own it."
"I have a larger one," I said, "but, like you, I'm buying it. My parents helped with the deposit. Their help made the mortgage small enough to be affordable then, and since I've been promoted I've been paying extra each year to reduce the term."
"So have I," Pauline said. "I own just over half of this flat. The way I think of it - I own the hall, kitchen and bathroom. I have still got to buy my bed sitting room. Which reminds me. We arranged this evening so quickly I didn't have time to tidy it. Can you wait a few minutes while I sort it out?"
"Of course I can," I replied.
Pauline put her coffee mug down. Her skirt brushed against me as she passed. I picked up my coffee. It was cool enough to drink. It tasted slightly odd. Was it the reconstituted milk powder? I finished it quickly, went to the sink, rinsed the mug and put half a cup of water in it to wash the taste of the coffee away.
Pauline returned and finished her coffee.
"Come on," she said. "Let's get comfortable."
Her hand took mine. I staggered slightly as I got down from the stool.
"You OK, Ian?" she asked, looking closely at me.
"I think so," I said. I wasn't sure. My head was swimming slightly as if from half a pint of beer too many. It had nearly passed as Pauline led me into her bed sitting room. We sat down side by side on the settee that was obviously her bed at night. Pauline leant her head on my shoulder.
"Ian, why didn't you...?"
"Why didn't I what?" I asked blearily. Suddenly I felt tired and detached from reality.
"At the office party. Why didn't you make a pass at me? I was in your arms when we danced, sitting on your lap with my head like this, and you did nothing. Why not?"
I tried to assemble my thoughts.
"Pauline, that was the wrong place and time."
"Why?"