For the Whored: Stormwind

Elunara blinked at the tiny night elf standing on her porch. "Uh, hello."

"You must be Elunara, the Whore." She stuck her hand out. "My name is Minuette. Yes, I am aware of the accuracy of my name." She sighed.

Elunara took the out stretched hand. "Why ARE you so small?"

She shrugged. "No one knows, but I'm shorter than most human women. I can assure you that I'm in my thirties."

"Hm. Well, what are you after?"

Minuette clasped her hands together. "Please help me get into the SI:7! I've been trying for MONTHS, and I've read all of your books in the library, and I was just hoping..."

"You were hoping I would be your in."

"Yes!"

"Well, first I need your file. Come back tomorrow."

"Of course!"

Elunara flipped through the file and frowned. Pacing back and forth, she considered the information given to her. Minuette sat in the chair, watching her intently. "You've taken the test sixteen times?" Elunara raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. I'll take it four hundred more if it would get me in."

"Why do you want in so badly?"

"Why did you?"

"I thought you read my books." She shook her head. "I didn't care. It was just another way to find the men I needed. I would have happily stayed in the stables and fucked every male to give me a wink. This gave me a broader range." Elunara tossed the file on the table. "Stop taking the test."

"What?" Minuette jerked straight up.

"The test is bullshit. It's there to filter you out. The amount of people that get in on the test is about one percent, and the amount of people that get in on the first try of the test, is one percent of the original one percent. It is purposely set up to keep you out."

"But that's not fair!"

"The test is designed to make you see through the bullshit. Most of the answers are actually supposed to be blank. You are to question, not to answer. Answering most of the questions are automatic disqualifications."

"No one told me that!"

"That's the point. There is NO test, NO question, and NO arrangement of answers that can prepare you for the realities of being an agent."

"But that's not fair!" She crossed her arms. "Why even HAVE a test?"

"To keep people like you out, who think the answers lie on a piece of paper." Elunara shook her head. "I never took the test. How most become agents, is to find your gimmick. Mine was my art, and my willingness to fuck anything that moved. I came up with a unique tactic that no one had seen before. You have to come up with something that is unique to you, something that can better the agency."

"That's..."

"You use the word "Fair" again, and I will punch you in the face, and throw your ass out. "Fair" was invented by politicians and the insignificant. I am neither, and I tolerate neither. If you want MY help, you'll drop the concept of fair. There's no such thing when your life, and others, is on the line."

"I... I'm sorry!"

"Now, the interesting thing is... you already HAVE a gimmick."

"I do?"

"You're tiny. I bet you can get into most places that other people can't. You're a night elf, so you can disappear into nowhere. We can work with this, and see if there's anything else we can eek out of you." She tapped her chin. "I want to see something."

Once she had the still sleeping Lulu tucked into her sling, they headed out.

The door jerked open. "Aunt Elunara!" Abigail bounced. "Look at my new bracelet!"

"That's very nice, sweetie. Where's your momma?"

"She's yelling at daddy, cause he got into her papers!"

Elunara winced. "Will he ever learn?"

"ABIGAIL! What have I told you about answering the door?"

"But, momma, it's aunt Elunara!"

"I don't care! Someone could snatch you up and I'd have NO idea!"

"Sorry, Momma." Abigail put her hands behind her.

Zelinnia blinked at Elunara. "Is my vision fucked?"

Minuette held out her hand. "You must be Zelinnia."

"You're seeing her the same as I am." Elunara shrugged.

"I really am just small." Minuette sighed.

Elunara considered. "Yeah, you're freaking small. You're tinier than a blood elf." She shook her head. "Girly here wants to be an agent."

Zelinnia snorted. "Good luck with that." She hesitated. "Please tell me you're taking her to Grogek."

"Next stop."

"Hold on." Zelinnia disappeared in the house. A few minutes later, she came out with both kids. "I have to see this."

At the training yard, Grogek stared down. "Is this a child?"

"For the last time..." Minuette grit out. "I'm in my thirties."

"If you can't take a little poking, you'll never make agent." Elunara shrugged.

"Training her?" Grogek's eyebrow shot up.

"Honestly, she has to get IN first."

"Ah."

"I have an idea, where are the boys?"

"Probably napping." Grogek grinned. "We upped their work load today."

"Must have just missed them."

"Yeah, sent em home about five minutes ago." Jordan nodded.

"Well, come back in a couple of hours."

"But..."

Elunara cocked her eyebrow. "Are you arguing with me?"

"No, Ma'am." Minuette saluted and took off.

"That... was a little weird." Jordan watched the other night elf run away.

"Daddy!"

"There's my girl!" Jordan plucked Lulu out of the sling.

A couple of hours later, Minuette just stared at Elunara. "You want me to what?"

"I want you to pass yourself off as a child. For the rest of the day, you are thirteen, and you will hang out with my sons and do a convincing job of it."

"I..."

"If you cannot convince five random people that you're just one of my kid's friends, then you're NOT getting into the service." She jerked her head. "Darguni and Bradly here, will give me an honest assessment of your ability to blend into your assignment. If you cannot complete such a simple task, then you're not cut out for SI:7. If you cannot figure out how this plays into an agent, then you, again, disqualify. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You can start... by convincing Lydia that you're a teenager."

Darguni put a hand over his mouth.

"I don't know, Momma..." Bradly began. "Lydia's pretty smart."

Elunara's grin was feral. "That's the point."

"So, you want to be an agent like Momma." Darguni put his hands behind his head as they walked down the way.

"Yes. I've read all of her books." Minuette hesitated. "Have... you?"

"Nah. We're not allowed to touch em until we're fifteen."

Bradly nodded. "And some we're not allowed to have until we're eighteen."

"Says they're too traumatic for children."

"They're too traumatic for most adults." Bradly snorted.

"Momma Tuly cries whenever she even thinks about the books. I don't think she's ever made it through."

"Um, so, why is this Lydia important?"

Both boys stopped and blinked. "You... you just said you read her books." Bradly choked.

"Wait, THE Lydia??"

"Yes, THE Lydia."

The three of them looked over. Lydia had her hands on her hips. "Why are you talking about me?"

"Oh, this is Minuette." Darguni jerked his thumb at the night elf. "Momma wanted us to show her around."

"Oh." Lydia frowned. "You don't look that young."

Minuette shrugged and gave a nervous laugh. "How many Night Elf children have you seen?"

Lydia tapped her foot. "You have a point." She shrugged. "Where's your mom?"

"The house is locked up today."

"Damn."

"Why?"

"I was going to ask her when I could train again."

"Did you start dad's training yet?"

Lydia froze. "No..."

"You heard her..." Bradly shook his head. "She won't train you again until you start."

"UGH! But, I HATE pants!"

"You wear pants when Momma trains you." Darguni snorted.

"Yeah, but that's different."

"Different how?" He brushed his long white hair out of his face.

"It just is!"

Bradly shuffled his feet. "If it makes you feel better, you look pretty decent in pants."

"UGH!" Lydia stomped her foot and spun away. "I'm done with this!" She flipped her hair and left.

Darguni snorted. "WRONG thing to say!"

"Oh, shut up!" Bradly shoved Darguni, but Darguni barely flinched.

Minuette looked back and forth for a moment. "Are you in love with her?" She blinked at Bradly.

He went brilliant red. "I don't care WHAT momma said, I am OUT of here!" He turned and ran.

Darguni whacked a hand to his face. "Now you've done it."

"Should... we go after him?"

"Nah." Darguni snorted. "You'll never catch Bradly when he's on a tear."

"Um, does he really...?"

"Have a ridiculously massive crush on Lydia? Yes. Do we openly mention it? No."

"What about you?"

"Ew, she's my SISTER."

"Yeah, but Bradly's your brother and he..." She put a hand to her mouth and looked around.

Darguni shrugged. "Look, I have no idea why he likes her like that. I mean, if I knew, then maybe I would too. My nearest guess is that momma refuses to officially adopt her since she has living parents. So maybe in HIS mind that means she's not REALLY our sister. Far as I'm concerned, though, she's my sister, and I ain't touchin that."

Jenny hummed to herself as she tucked her purchase under the stroller. The twins were napping in the afternoon sun, tucked into the stroller, while she got a little shopping done.

"Excuse me."

Jenny blinked back at the elderly man tugging at her sleeve. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry, it's just... you remind me of someone."

"Um, who?"

"Do you know a woman by the name of Lily Rose?"

"That was my mother's name." She said quietly.

He blinked at her. "But... that was the name of my daughter."

She put a hand to her mouth. "It can't be..."

"Would that make you my granddaughter?" He considered. "Perhaps... You see, even though my daughter's name was elegant flowers, her favorite was always the simple peacebloom." He smiled.

Jenny slid to the ground. "By the Gods..."

"I did not mean to make you upset..." He smiled. "Perhaps we could reminisce over some Lotus berry tea? It's my favorite."

"It was my mother's favorite." She whispered. "Yes, yes of course." She stood up and wiped her skirts off. "I would love to."

Elunara opened the door to arms around her waist. "Hello, Jenny."

"Oh, I've had the BEST day! Well, maybe second best."

"Oh?"

"I met my grandfather!"

"You..." Elunara blinked. "What?"

After depositing the giddy Jenny back in her home; Elunara practically ran to Mathias' office.

"Elunara!" He blinked.

"Jenny just told me that she met her mother's father."

"WHAT?!" He jolted to his feet. "That's not POSSIBLE!"

Elunara went over the conversation.

Mathias paced back and forth. "That's... that's just not possible. Lily Rose was an orphan, she grew up alone. She..." He sat heavily in his chair. "She told me that her mother died in front of her face, and her father... her father's body was never recovered." He scrubbed his hand across his mouth.

"So it is possible." Her voice was quiet.

"I want this man watched."

"Already done." Her lip quirked. "Hey, it's me."

He nodded. "I just got my daughter back; I don't want her taken from me."

Back at home, she flipped through a couple of books. Tapping her fingers on the table, she considered the information. At the knock, she tucked it away. Leaning against the door, she sighed. "You're not done with your assignment."

Minuette winced. "I pissed off both Bradly and Lydia, and then Darguni bailed on me."

"Well, then Darguni is in trouble." Elunara ran her tongue on her teeth.

"Well, it was kind of my fault..."

"Get in here."

Minuette scooted inside. "I kinda... asked him some personal questions about you, and he got all flushy and took off."

"Spill it." Elunara growled.

"Well, I was asking him about your sign process, and if he'd ever broken your sign rules and what he might have seen..."

"And what did he reply?"

"Apparently, he's opened the door on you and Grogek a couple of times. When I pressed for more..."

"You pressed my thirteen year old son, for information on whether or not he walked in on us FUCKING??" Elunara twitched. "You should be glad I'm not snapping your worthless little NECK!"

Minuette held her hands up. "I wasn't! I swear! I was trying to figure out what you do about it! Like punishment or something."

"What?" She blinked.

"I'm sorry! I'm just trying to understand the you that's not written in the books. How you deal with anger, disruptions, that kind of thing." Minuette raked her fingers through her hair. "All I managed to do was embarrass BOTH of your sons and annoy your daughter, and I just don't know what to do with myself." She flopped onto the couch and held her head.

"Have you thought about doing anything OTHER than the SI:7?"

"I was supposed to go into the sentinels, but I didn't want to do THAT."

"You know, I can work some miracles with agents, but I can't cure stupid."

Minuette winced. "I'm not... ok, yes I am. But, I want to learn!" She stood up. "Please, I know I've made some awful mistakes, but I desperately want to learn how to be a good agent."

"Ugh." Elunara put her hand to her forehead. "Fine. You get ONE MONTH to impress me. If you haven't improved or found your niche, you're out. I will have them close your file and you can go the hell back to Darnassus."

"Oh, THANK YOU!" Minuette wrapped her arms around Elunara.

Elunara shoved her back. "Rule number one, do NOT hug me. This is your ONLY warning."

"Forgive me." She fidgeted in place. "Can... I ask you something?"

"Have at it."

"In your books, you have a lot of vivid imagery, and your sense of scale is amazing, but what's the biggest thing you've had?"

"Dragon dicks are the biggest I've fucked. But as for person?" Elunara tugged open a drawer and held up the metal dick. "This is my husband."

"Holy damn! Can I...?"

Elunara tossed it over.

"It's so big!" She whispered. "I wish I could try it..."

"How many men have you fucked?"

"Uh... none?"

Elunara snatched the metal dick back. "You'd ruin yourself if you tried this."

"Can... you train me?"

"I don't think it's your track, but I'm always open to teaching sex."

"Suppose I want to recreate something like... the orc camp incident?"

Elunara's eyes went wide and she dropped the metal dick. She scrambled to retrieve it. "Are you insane?"

"I..." Minuette fidgeted and blushed. "Reading the incident... and others like it? Made me so... hot and bothered. Like, you took them all in, over and over? Gods, that sounds..." She shivered. "Delightful."

"Apparently even I can be shocked." Elunara sighed. "I can arrange it. But I have to be sure..." She tucked the dick into its drawer. "We'll discuss it, after you make some strides in your training."