"You're kidding me right?" Ken asked hesitantly. One of the few things that his deadbeat father had told him before skipping out was that if a deal seemed to be too good to be true it probably was and this deal. It wasn't too good to be true. It was to again quote his father, fuck mothering amazing.
John shrugged. "Not at all. You're a good kid. You've held up your end of the bargain and you have no idea how hard it is to get someone who'll come out and actually mow your lawn. I know I could have one of the lawnbots do it, or even send my own Jizz Bot but I've found that there's nothing quite like having an actual human being doing the work.
Ken couldn't argue with that. Everybody on the block asked Mr. Lamark what the secret of his lawn was. It was greener and fuller than anybody else's and he often joked that the secret to a beautiful lawn was human sweat. Accept no substitutes. Even following three years of personally tending to the lawn Ken thought it might have something to do with fertilizer and some very precise maintenance. He wasn't actually sure though that sweat wasn't the active ingredient in success here. "Just doin' my job." He replied.
John shook his head. "Don't be so modest, even before people had access to all these machines most Americans were too
good
to do anything as menial as yard work. It made a bunch of lazy good for nothing slackers who wouldn't know a hard day's work if it bit em on the ass. I'd like to think that I've done my part to make you into a better man."
"Yeah, okay I get that. I know what it's like to pull weeds and trim trees. I'm still not sure where that turns into you giving me your old Jinzōningen. You pay me for my time." Ken replied still trying to figure out what exactly was going on.
"You're right I do pay you well for your time. Think of this like a bonus. I have something that I don't need anymore, I know you want it, and I want you to have it."
"Free?" Ken replied flatly.
"If I'm not mistaken you turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago and I didn't get you anything. I know it's not really traditional for your boss to get you a birthday gift but it's the least I could do. I've seen you eyeballing her when you come to the door and it's not like they sell for a lot used and I'd rather someone like you take care of her than for her to end up in some pawnshop collecting dust." John shrugged again. "If you don't want her. . ."
"I didn't say that." Ken quickly replied.
"Good. Then she's yours." John said handing over a small envelope. "Those are the ownership papers."
"Sounds good. Is there anything I should know? I've heard. . .stories about what happens when Jizz Bots get new owners." Ken asked holding the envelope in his hand. He considered opening it right then stopped.
"Those are thefts mostly and the occasional repo. And that mostly only happens with the higher end models anyway."
"Isn't Julia high end model?"
"Good eye. She's a top of the line Vy." John replied.
Ken paused for a moment blinking. "A Vy? I figured a Ve or even a Series III. I don't suppose you'd be willing to share your secret with me. You must be doing pretty well if you're going to dump a Vy on the kid who mows your lawn just because you have a new toy."
John tossed his head back laughing happily. "Well I've already taught you the most difficult part. Hard work is always rewarded. The next step is something you'll have to work out for yourself. Believe me I'd tell you but what worked for me isn't going to work for you." John shrugged. "Now finish cleaning up around here and then get home. She'll be waiting for you."
"Thank you." Ken responded.
Normally edging the lawn and gathering all the clippings and leaves into the compost heap would have taken Ken most of an hour. After John's little speech about how he was already on his way to being a self made man Ken found himself inspired and it only took him forty five minutes to finish sweeping and finally put all the tools back in Mr. Lamark's garage and returned home.
