A Baptist Dirt Wash

CHAPTER 1

1 In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, when Pontius Pilate was governor in Judaea, and one of the four rulers, Herod, in Galilee; and Philip his brother, one of the four rulers, in Ituraea; and Lysanias, one of the four rulers, in Abilene, the command of God went forth to John the son of Zacharias in the desert.

2 And the command of devil went forth to Herodias, Philip's wife, who had been taken by Herod, her husband's brother.

3 And Herod was a healthy man with an appetite for fornication, unlike his brother Philip. And Herodias failed not to recognize this essence in him.

4 And she deserted her husband to live with her brother-in-law, who desisted not satiating her, regularly, by the crème of his virility.

5 But John said to Herod, Thou hast no authority to take the wife of thy brother. And Herodias, on this account, hated John and wished to kill him.

CHAPTER 2

1 And on the very same day, when Herod retired to his bedchamber, Herodias presented herself to him with her nakedness, cleaned of unwanted hairs and administered with perfumes.

2 And Herod looked at her nakedness. Lo, she was tall and slim and with ample flesh in the right places.

3 And his penis was troubled at the sight of her heavy, yet firm breasts and long legs and rounded thighs and protuberant vulva.

4 The pale lines of birth marks on her abdomen were more fascinating to him, on their association with her teenaged daughter.

5 And Herod pulled Herodias to him and diligently kissed at her abdomen. And Herodias observed and kept this thing, and pondered it in her heart.

6 And now she raised one of her legs and straddled his shoulder and received his mouth straight at her slushiness. And Herod lustily feasted at her vaginal profuse.

7 And Herodias therefore fed her brother-in-law from her hot well to drink to his satisfaction and when he was fully satisfied she dismounted his shoulder.

8 And she pulled out afterward his erection out of his robes. And it was huge.

9 And she took it into her mouth, as much as it could contain, and her proficiency she demonstrated unto him.

10 And he enjoyed her act and said unto her, Thou hast brought heaven into thy mouth. And she was pleased by his saying.

11 Afterwards she straightened Herod on his back and positioned herself above him. She brought the hotness of her opening, right above the uprightness of his pole.

12 And then she rubbed the bulbous head of his member with her slushy gash and anointed it with her juices. It was as if she did it for its burial and anointed its body beforehand.

13 And when Herodias lingered on thus, Herod lost his patience and he griped the roundness of her buttocks and pulled her down and buried his pole up, and attacked her, giving deep strokes, from under.

14 Herodias on her own moved not, but remaining on top, with her eyes closed, enjoyed the intense pleasure she received from the movements of his hardness through the softness of her vaginal folds.

15 And in course of time his breaths became hoarse and, all of a sudden, he rolled her down and pulled his throbbing member out of her cavern and aimed its tip right at her abdomen.

16 And hot seeds surged out of his manhood, stream after stream, and splattered all over the birthmarks on her abdomen. But Herodias watched and kept this thing and pondered it in her mind.

17 And she took his penis once again into her mouth and sucked it clean. And he was pleased. And then a favour she asked of him and said unto him, Arrest John the Baptist and kill.

18 When Herod heard these words, he was distressed and answered and said unto her, I will arrest John the Baptist and put him in prison, but killing I can not do for people adhered to him as the prophet.

CHAPTER 3

1 And it came to pass, that when John the Baptist was arrested and lodged in prison, Herodias arose and went into the prison and asked for the health of John.

2 John heard the salutation of Herodias, and was reviled and said he unto her, Behold, the axe hath been laid at the root of the trees, and so every tree that beareth not good fruit shall be hewn down and cast into the fire.

3 Seek not more than what thou art commanded to seek. Perform not incest, nor wrong prophets; and let only thy husband lieth with thee.

4 But Herodias received it scornfully and answered and said unto John, Is it not written that God created Adam and Eve; and Eve conceived, and bare Cain and Abel and also Seth unto Adam?

5 And who bare E'noch unto Cain? Surely, one of his sisters, which Eve begat. And who bare Enos unto Seth? Also a sister. Yet ye have formed law that saith, Cursed be he that lieth with his sister.

6 And is it not written that Lot's two daughters, to preserve the seed of their father, lay with their father and generated the races of Moabites and Ammonites? Yet ye have formed law that saith, Cursed be he that lieth with his daughter.

7 And is it not written that Reuben, Jacob's first born, went and lay with Bil'hah, who bare two of his brothers, Dan and Naph'tali, unto his father Jacob? Yet ye have formed law that saith, Cursed be he that lieth with his father's wife; because he uncovereth his father's skirt.

8 And is it not written that Judah came in unto Ta'mar, his daughter-in-law, and spilled his seeds to gender the twins Pha'rez and Za'rah? Yet ye formed law that saith, Cursed be he that lieth with his son's wife.

9 Shame on ye hypocrites, who knew not their own scriptures, yet pass strictures on others behaviors.

10 Are we Greeks not entitled to do with what is ours that was set by the Olympian gods? Knowest thou not that Zeus, son of Cronus, defiled his sister Hera to have her as his wife?

11 Judge not according to your poor understanding, but judge by our historical upbringing. Judge not with hypocrisy, but judge righteous judgement.

12 And when Herodias had thus spoken, John the Baptist was astonished at her learning, but it distressed him and he answered and said unto her, In this saying of thine thou art casting slur on us. Thou wast all of thee born in sins, and dost thou teach us? But I am the voice of one crying, Make straight the way of the Lord.

13 And Herodias therefore said unto him, Mix not the way of God with the way of world. Confused will be the world and insulted will be the God. The way of God is solely for recluses and the way of world is solely for relishes.

14 John answered her and said, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. Thou art of thy father the devil. He was a murderer from the beginning.

15 And when Herodias heard these words, she was moved with anger against John and lifted up herself and said unto him, Verily, verily, murder thou deservest. And straightaway led herself out of the prison. 16 In that same hour came the disciples to John and of Jesus they confessed and said unto him, It is verily he that should come. And john sighed within.

CHAPTER 4

1 And it came to pass that there was a celebrated day, and Herod had made a feast for his great men on the day of his anniversary, and for the officers and for the chief men of Galilee.

2 And the daughter of Herodias came in and danced, even instructed by her mother, in the midst of the company to please Herod and those that sat with him.

3 She started her dance with a long stately robe and stripped it thereafter. She was then dancing to the amazement of the company, in a tunic that can be opened from front up.

4 And thereafter she stripped that also and revealed her copper coloured young eighteen year old body only in two pieces that covered her breasts and feminine secret.

5 Officers and chief men were excited in anticipation, but in that hour the damsel picked up the castaway tunic and covered her sweated body.

6 And the company was dismayed, but she lifted their interest by pulling out the two pieces through under her tunic and casting them away.

7 Whirled she then and pulled herself to a stop, facing squarely Herod the king. The music also stopped. And then she opened the front of her tunic and revealed Herod, and only Herod, her naked front.

8 And ran away into the back quarters. And the officers and chief men of Galilee raised their voice in mock protest but laughed in content.

CHAPTER 5

1 And it came to pass that Herod was so roused; he went straightaway into Herodias' chamber and kissed her, intending to copulate and release his pressure through her. And Herodias felt his urging erection poking at her abdomen.

2 She knelt in front of him and released his agitated member. When she moved back its foreskin with her tight wrapped lips, he groaned. And she ran her mouth up and down fastened to his extended rod.

3 Groaned and groaned, himself he started pumping at her mouth. But then Herodias stopped her act abruptly and stood up. Herod asked, What art thou doing? She answered and said unto him, Wait a while, I will return afresh.

4 But the one who returned was Herodias teenaged daughter. Herod could not believe it first. And he thought it was only his imagination, the effect of his longtime desire.

5 But when the damsel put her small soft hand on his exposed erection and called unto him, Papa, he blinked in bewilderment. And the damsel was in the same tunic even she left the court.

6 And Herod inquired, Whence comest thou? And whither thy mother? And the damsel answered and said unto him, Only mama instructed and sent me hither.

7 And Herod was highly exited. And he took the supple body of the damsel into his embrace and kissed her pouting ruby lips.

8 Her tunic fell open. And he put her at his arms length and feasted with his eyes on her nakedness. Her breasts were two golden apples, tapered down in front into full grown figs, tipped with small cherries.

9 Her waist was so slender that flared below to her overwhelming hips that curved down to her inviting thighs. And the shiny triangle was a puffed cake peppered with a soft sparse golden shavings.

10 And she shed that tunic also. And he scooped her up and placed her, down on her back, on the royal bed.

11 And she spread her thighs invitingly. And her pudendum blossomed up like a golden rose exposing its dewed coral petals.

12 He was terrified at the thought of attacking that precious jewel with his rock hard monster. He dived therefore with his head in between her thighs and confined her vulva into his mouth.

13 And he licked and licked and sucked and sucked that her hot treasure melted into juices to flood his eager mouth.

14 And her body throbbed and it was a pleasure unbearable to her for it was her first time. And she moaned and moaned, pushing her pudendum up his mouth and gyrating her hips this wise and that wise.

15 And she besought him and said unto him, O when wilt thou come into me? I will behave myself wisely and shall cleave to thee.

16 Though it was not his idea to have intercourse with her, her call excited him and he hovered over her and positioned the swollen head of his hardness at her pinkish gate.

17 And with her eyes wide opened, and her golden locks spread around her head, the damsel was waiting for that precious moment, in great anticipation.

18 And strived he to enter at the narrow door, and was not be able, and standing without, knocked at the door as if to say, Open unto me.

19 And she arched her hips and shouted and said unto him, Papa, rend my virgin vail and rip mine itching hole.

20 Herod the healthy old man was shocked at her vulgar speech, but was emboldened and with all his strength he stroked at his target and in one strike half of his member forced itself in and lodged into her tightness.

21 She wailed in that hour, with tears rolling down the slope of her ears. And it was a sharp pain.

22 He felt sympathy and said unto her, Shall I pull it out? But she prevented and said unto him, No, papa, mama hath alerted this to me. Come on in, fill me up and accomplish thy virgin her first encounter.

23 And that acted as his energy infuser. And Herod lunged forward and buried his entire length. And she gasped.

24 For quite some time he remained therefore motionless, but took her virgin breasts into his mouth and sucked at them, now this and now that.

25 And regaining her breath, she smiled a weak smile. And she stirred from under and in a choked voice said unto him, Please, papa, do whatsoever thou wilt and complete this.

26 And Herod readily accepted her invitation. He pulled his member out and pushed it again into her very depth. In like manner, in and out and in and out, his lengthy strokes he executed.

27 And it came to pass that it was a painful experience for the damsel for quite sometime. But slowly it stimulated her pleasure parts and she started enjoying it.

28 And there afterwards the pain in her sheath completely disappeared. And she started exhibiting her pleasure movements.

29 And for Herod, hers was a tight fitting, squeezing sheath which butter-gripped the whole length of his fatty staff. Moreover the damsel, lost herself on her very first pleasure trip, indulged in jiggling her crotch against the old man's poking stump.

30 And then suddenly she felt an intense sensation as if her entire body is pulled in by sweetened strings. And she cried out, of that unbearable ecstasy, and arched her body up, to receive his strokes.

31 And Herod, sensing her urgency, increased his speed, and with very few more little strokes, collapsed on her small lithe body, pumping the hot load of his seed into her far depths.

32 And the sweetened strings that pulled in her entire body snapped on every end and she felt as if she hath melted and vaporized into every direction in no time.

33 For Herod, it was as if he achieved an unattainable feat. He looked at his little girl affectionately. She said in a tiny voice unto him, I love you papa.

34 And he thought, She is going to be there to love him for ever, with her tight hot slippery sheath.

35 Herod kissed and dismounted her. And they both witnessed the bed blotted with her virginal blood.

36 And Herod was much pleased with that and he said unto the damsel, Ask of me what thou wilt, and I will give it thee. And he sware unto her, Whatsoever thou shalt ask, I will give it thee, to the half of my kingdom.

37 And she went out, and said unto her mother, What shall I ask him? She said unto her, The head of John the Baptist.

CHAPTER 6

1 And immediately she came in hastily to the king, and said unto him, I desire in this hour that thou give me on a dish the head of John the Baptist.

2 And the power of incestuous virgin pleasure was so great, immediately the king sent an executioner, and commanded that he should bring the head of John.

3 And he went and cut off the head of John in the prison, and brought it on a dish and delivered it to the damsel and the damsel gave it to her mother.

4 Jesus the Nazarene, when he heard that John was beheaded, removed thence and went beyond Jordan to the place where John was baptizing formerly; and abode there.

5 And Jesus lifted his eyes, and saw great multitudes coming to him. And he was moved with compassion for them, for they were like sheep that were without a shepherd.

6 And he received them, and healed those who had need of healing and spake to them, Verily verily, I say unto you, A grain of wheat, if it fall not and die in the earth, remaineth alone; but if it die, it beareth much fruit.

7 And Jesus said this, and was going about the villages and the cities, and teaching, not of the law and prophets, but of his own in this manner, YE RESIST NOT EVIL.

8 And everything that Jesus said was, in like manner, a double edged sword. And to this day, man kneweth not how to live by his every word. Amen.