Thanks to everyone for their feedback.
Everyone in this story is 18 years and over.
***
I ate my dinner in silence, while the rest of the family talked about their day. Dad's dentist appointment had gone well, except for a filling that was needed. Mum told us that while she was waiting for dad, she'd had a coffee with the mum of one of Nicole's school friends in the cafΓ© near the dental surgery. They'd discussed what their respective daughters were going to be doing after they graduate from high-school. I wasn't really listening, so I have no idea which friend it was.
I was deep in thought, trying to make sense of what had happened today when dad spoke.
"Any problems with the bike?" dad asked.
"Huh? Oh, no it was pretty easy to fix. I will have to buy a new repair kit though; I used the last patch out of that one" I said.
"Yeah, it seemed pretty straight forward. Bike-boy here knows what he's doing," Nicole added, poking me in the arm.
At eighteen, Nicole had always fit the role of the typical irritating younger sister perfectly, encompassing every stereotype of a sister pestering her brother. I gave just as good as I got, and we knew it was always bandied about with good humour, but now her playful antics had a different feel about them. Our parents saw it as nothing more than the sisterly ribbing that she usually gave me, but Nicole and I sensed that it held more elements of flirtation than simple sibling banter.
Growing up, I'd spent a lot of my weekends racing bikes, I don't think I was really good at it, but I enjoyed it, nonetheless. By the time I'd reached the age of fifteen, it wasn't really something that I was interested in anymore. Dad had raced bikes too and had shown me a lot of maintenance tips. It was one of many life skills that mum, and dad had taught Nicole and I over the years.
"You should apply for a job at the bike shop" mum suggested. "You know the basics, and you might end up being one of the bike mechanics that hang out of the cars at the Tour de France." Mum joked. Mum and I still stayed up late during July watching the Tour de France, particularly the mountain stages. The interest in bikes was still there, just not the ability.
"Yeah, that's not a bad idea" I said, mentally filing that piece of advice away. I had other things in my head to sort out first.
Dad was starting work at midnight, so he finished his dinner, said his goodnights, and left us to get ready for bed. Mum and Nicole cleared the table and stacked the dishwasher.
I spent the rest of the evening in my room feeling a mixture of emotions. Shame, guilt, love, happiness. Why hadn't I simply closed the box after uncovering its contents? Why did I allow Nicole to peer through those magazines? How did things escalate to the point they did? Questions plagued my mind, wondering if Nicole had pressured me or, even worse, if I had pressured her. Surely, as an older brother, wasn't it my responsibility to shield my little sister from things like that? I didn't want to appear too eager to continue, but I couldn't afford to ignore what was happening either.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to listen to music, play on my phone, immerse myself in a PlayStation game, or just sit at the computer and mindlessly surf the web. I sat on the bed and powered up my laptop when a subtle knock on the bedroom door pulled me from my thoughts.
"Yeah" I answered, feeling a bit annoyed that I was being disturbed.
The door slowly opened, and Nicole poked her head around the door.
"Mind if I come in?" she asked.
"Sure" I replied, glad it was Nicole, and not mum or dad checking up on me.
She walked over to me and sat next to me on the edge of the bed.
"About today..." she spoke, gently putting her hand on my knee.
"I realise what happened today wasn't planned," Nicole started," Like I said earlier today, I've always fantasised about something happening between us, but I always knew it was never going to be something that I started.", her hand squeezing my knee gently, "and I can tell you're still trying to make sense of it," she continued.
"Hell, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it too." Her words held the same doubts as mine, but her tone was warm and empathetic. "But I want to make it clear that when I said I'd be here if you wanted me, I meant it. What happened between us is our secret. Mum and dad can never find out."
"I know" I said looking into Nicole's eyes.
"Can I ask you a question?" she asked.
"You just did" I quipped in a playful tone.
"No, seriously. Do you think it would be ok if I slept in here tonight?" she asked. "We don't have to do anything; I just want to be near you," she added nervously.