** At the time of writing, I'm currently 48 years old and divorced for maybe 16 or 17 years. I cant quite remember. This is my attempt to string together some of my past experiences that rightly or wrongly have shaped who I am. I hope you enjoy reading this and please don't judge me. I'd love to receive comments from my readers too so feel free to say what you want. **
It was sometime in the afternoon, a few days after Mark had fucked me. I was lying in bed in my room, just relaxing after coming home from college a while earlier. There was a knock on my door and John came in.
"Hey sis, can we talk?" He asked.
I sat up in bed. "Yeah. Sure. What is it?" I kinda snapped at him.
"Hey, don't get testy with me! I just wanna ask you something!" He retorted.
"You wanna ask me about Uncle Pete? Is that it? You wanna fuck me too? Like Mark?" I replied, angrily.
John looked at me with his mouth open and shook his head no. Damn. So he didn't know about Mark and I had let it slip. He stood there silently for a while.
"Y..you fucked Mark? Did he make you?" He asked softly.
I shook my head. "Not really. I was.. I was kinda willing. He said you all knew about Uncle Pete and..." I sighed. "He said he wanted some and I... well I didn't say no."
John was silent again, just looking at me.
"I assumed he told you." I sighed again. "And I assumed you wanted some too."
"Who wouldn't?" John said, kind of smiling. "But... but I didn't come in here to fuck you. I wanted to ask you about Uncle Pete. Did he hurt you? Did he force you? Coz if that sonofabitch did....."
"No...no... he didn't force me or hurt me. I really am all right Johnny." I smiled softly at my brother. He was the first one to ask if I had been forced or coerced and if I was alright. Even my father didn't do that.
"Why did you do it then? Is it okay if I ask?" John said softly, coming to sit beside me.
"I don't know how to explain it John... he was always making comments about me, about how hot I was. It was, I don't know, just kind of nice being looked at that way. Especially from an older, experienced man."
John nodded.
"And... I guess in some ways, I felt sorry for him. I mean Aunt Rita can be such a bitch." I laughed and John joined in the laugher.
John looked at me then asked straight out. "Are you sleeping with Dad too?"
I gulped. "Sometimes I sleep with him in his room, just to keep him company. He's been so lonely since Mom left."
"That's not what I meant...you know what I was asking." John replied.
I just nodded, then looked down. "Don't judge me? Please?"
"It takes two hands to clap 'rina." John replied. "As long as no one is forcing you, It's not for me to say anything."
I nodded again. Not sure how or even if I should respond.
"I know Dad is lonely. And you've kinda taken on the role of looking after all of us. I mean, cooking, cleaning... it's all you. I have tried to help out a bit, you know" John went on.
"Yes John. I know you have. You do a lot of the washing up after meals and even folding the laundry. Maybe just yours, but at least you do that!" I laughed. "Unlike that ass Mark who just thinks its my job."