I rushed to the door but stopped short reaching out to the handle. I was shaking and not sure why. Don't get me wrong I knew there were plenty of reasons to be nervous I just didn't know which one it was that had my heart trying to leap out of my chest. This was Janet, after all. She was my sister. She had been teasing me since we were little kids that she had a crush on me. I thought she was just trying to make her geeky older brother feel better but apparently there was some truth to what she said.
I looked down at my raging hard on. "Can I do this," I whispered? "Should I?" I hung my head and slapped the side of my skull because I knew I couldn't do this thing that I suddenly wanted so much. I have to go out there and put a stop to this, I thought. We'd already crossed the line but what we'd done so far couldn't compare to what could happen next. I guess I had to be the adult after all. This kind of thing would change our lives forever.
I turned the handle, my hands trembling, and opened the door. Janet was standing in her bedroom doorway kind of posing. Her legs were wide, almost to the jamb on each side. She was standing kind of twisted with her hands to her side, chest out, head slightly cocked, with the cutest little mischievous smile curling up the corners of her mouth.
The air rushed out of my lungs in one long gasp. "My God," I said. "You are so beautiful." The words just came out. I wanted to follow up with but we can't do this but those words locked up in my throat.
"It's about time you noticed," she said. "You don't know how happy that makes me feel."
We met in the center of the hallway. My hands cupping her shoulders as hers found my waist.
"I always thought you were pretty, Janet, and now that you are becoming a woman you're an angel. Every guy would die to be with you. The only thing you've got against you is your nerdy older brother that no girl will even talk to."
"For someone so smart you really are an idiot. You've always been handsome and now that you're filling out and becoming a man you are an absolute hunk. The only reason girls don't talk to you is because you don't talk to them. If you just had a little confidence they'd be falling all over you."
"Thanks, I just wish it was true."
"It is."
"But this. . . we can't. I mean I want to but—"
"Stop!" She didn't shout but cut me off with authority. "Hear me out. Don't just dismiss this. We've always been friends and this last month we've been chatting about intimate stuff that we both want and I know that we can give to each other. Pretty soon classes will start and we won't be living across the hall from each other anymore."
"I know but—"
---
Janet slipped close to Mark pulling his hips against her body. She could feel the hot throbbing pressure of his manhood against her belly and pulled him tighter. His hands slipped off of her shoulders; to her delight he wrapped them around her body. She kissed him lightly on the chest and turned her face up to look in his eyes.
She hugged Mark tighter to try to hide the fact that her hands were beginning to shake. She couldn't believe that he was there, in her arms. He'd always acted as though her affections toward him had been some sort of charity but the truth was she really loved and wanted him. The last couple of years she had suppressed a painful yearning to tell him so. It had all started when they were just kids. She guessed she'd just looked up to her older brother to begin with but as the years went on and they both went through puberty her admiration had turned to much more. She tried to put it out of her mind because she knew it was wrong. She dated guys from school and let them do whatever they would to her to get the thoughts of Mark out of her head. Usually what they would do was a lot less than she would have thought based on all of their boasting. Guys, she'd learned, even the so called cool guys, were often awkward when it came down to it. Some of the stuff they did felt good but at night when she would replay it in her head it wasn't the boy she would think of, it was Mark. It was always her brother in those recreations sliding his fingers in her panties or nibbling eagerly on her erect nipples.
