Sienna had been right—it hadn't taken her long to melt her way through that bag of shard. Three days in fact, although she was hardly alone. Amber had been easing off the accelerator over the course of the previous month, perhaps sensing a familiar course begin to careen out of control and perhaps in preparation for heading back to work soon. But that had all changed when Sienna had received the massive glass bong from Kevin a few days ago.
Suddenly, Amber went from a couple hits once or twice a week to matching Sienna's torrid pace of 'every waking moment.' I sensed that they were, in fact, encouraging each other in a way and feeding off their mutually reckless hedonistic passion. This had both scared and excited me for several reasons. First and foremost, Amber had been fast approaching the end of her PTO. While she could continue her leave of absence—without her time off being paid I would be hard-pressed to keep both women supplied and all the bills paid on my salary alone.
While we did have a healthy sum in the bank, it was our retirement fund and emergency money and while fun—I couldn't quite describe our current situation as an emergency as much as I would've liked to. Another thing I considered was the proposition of Amber completely giving in to this new lifestyle. Once representing the pinnacle of my greatest fantasies, it now represented a complete overhaul of our current existence. We likely wouldn't be living in the same home, neighborhood, or driving the same cars or enjoying the same relative financial freedom if Amber switched from a source of income to a new deficit.
That was saying nothing of the gnawing ache in my stomach whenever I truly let myself imagine life without her as my partner. Sure, we were partners in everything we did—including this new and wonderful one with Sienna—but the dynamic would be vastly different if I lost her as a mutual caretaker and overseer. She would, instead, become a subject in this dangerously arousing experiment and I alone would be responsible for its orchestration.
I was certainly not naïve, nor was I capable of deluding myself about certain very real possibilities. Overdose, infection, disease, death—these were not out of the realm of possibility for one or both of my beloved women. While the risk was definitely a large part of what aroused me, especially when it was ignored to pursue pleasure with heedless ferocity, my arousal was only capable of staving off my fears of loss to a certain extent. That extent, it seemed, was tested with inclusion of Amber as a possible casualty of my sexual deviance.
I had thus far been quiet about my concerns, at least recently, and neither woman was aware of my occasional brooding. I paused my rumination momentarily to enjoy the soft breathing and serene peacefulness of the two beautiful sleeping women who'd been generating my internal conflictions.
Sienna was on her back in the center of the bed, closest to me, arms cocked to either side and legs spread out. Her hair was splayed out around her head like a splash of shimmering black ink against the white canvas of her down pillow. The lids and surrounding skin of her closed eyes had taken on a darker shade of pink as a result of more than 72 hours without sleep, but her otherwise flawless visage remained defiant to its effects. Her plump lips were parted lightly, their swollen fullness a marvel of incredible heredity. Wearing nothing but a tank top and underwear, the outline of her supple breasts could be traced easily through the thin fabric to reveal the points of her perky nipples.
Amber was on her side facing both Sienna and I, arms reaching out in an unconscious pursuit of our embrace. Knees pulled up and posture broken, she looked nothing like the devious mastermind of corruption that I knew her to be. Instead she looked small, fragile, and innocent. Her lips were parted similarly to Sienna's, in a perpetual 'pre-kiss' pucker that seemed intentionally beckoning despite her unconsciousness. My favorite thing, however, was the way her eyebrows arched in a sympathetic pattern above her shuttered lids. They remained high in an expression of tender concern that had always warmed my heart.
I loved them both dearly, and regardless of how utterly depraved our day-to-day activities became it was the one absolute truth that remained foundational and unwavering. I would be making no grand decisions now and I would issue no sweeping reform. Tomorrow it would be business as usual and another step down a path that we'd all committed to traveling—for better or worse.
The familiar clicks of lighters was the first thing I heard the next morning, an indication that my life was still very much a fantasy of my own making. I squinted through the haze of sunlight and smoke that bathed me and tried to catch a glimpse of either Sienna or Amber satisfying their nicotine requirement with the first cigarette of the day. As I blinked my eyes into focus Amber's outline began to materialize at the foot of the bed, the sunlight hitting her in such a way as to cast her in a golden silhouette. I watched silently as she brought the freshly lit cylinder up to her face, a shadowy profile enshrined by the glow of the sun.
My vantage allowed me a perfect view of her lips, poised and puckered like they were when she slept, welcoming the filter between their sumptuous embrace. The tip glowed a faint yellow-orange in the morning light as suction was applied with greedy intent. After several seconds the cigarette was extracted from its fleshy confines and allowed momentary respite while Amber hungrily coveted her prize. The clarifying illumination of her lusciously full lips basking in the brilliance of the morning sun presented the tight ball of smoke snapping dramatically into view before being noisily consumed in unparalleled magnificence.
The contour of Amber's body shifted as the contents of her mouth were drawn down into her yearning lungs and imprisoned. An almost imperceptible aura of satisfaction settled over her then, as the contents of her chest began to submit to the ravenous appetite of its host—being absorbed in a ritual of satiation long ago perfected. Upon being stripped of its valuable carcinogens, Amber lifted her chin slightly in preparation of the final part of the ritual. Her shoulders relaxed and lips pursed, a thin stream of smoke erupted from within her in a tight cone that stretched to the ceiling. Its volume expanded and developed increased opacity as it continued being expelled by the voluptuous mouth of its former captor.
Finally, it's constitution waned, and presence diminished until the only evidence of its once billowing majesty was a lingering borderless haze that swirled shapelessly in the shadows. Only moments passed before Amber's arm moved again to repeat the ritual—to be completed countless times over and over to slake an insatiable appetite that would never relent.
"You're so beautiful," I croaked from a throat unprepared for its first communicative gesture of the day.
Amber's body trembled as my sudden outburst startled her mid-drag. As she composed herself and turned toward me her lips curved into a smile around the cigarette that still burned brightly between them. She removed the filter from her mouth languidly and snapped a ball of smoke visibly down her throat before kissing her hand and blowing me a smokey kiss. The view of her lush mouth pursed in a kiss disappeared behind a thick cloud of smoke as it was expelled in a tight cone that cascaded toward me. I enjoyed the sensations of her smokey exhale bathing me in its embrace as her face reemerged and her exhale thinned to a wisp.
Her smile was broad and unrestrained, both tender and a fierce indication of our love and admiration for one another.
"I miss you," she whispered softly.
"I'm right here, I've always been right here," I replied somewhat confused.
"I know, but sometimes I feel like I don't get to enjoy our quiet moments as often as I'd like to," she explained.
I smiled, immediately relating to her sentiment with agreeance.
"This is a quiet moment," I replied.
She smiled back, a deep knowing expression borne of understanding and intimacy generated over many years.
She grabbed her small, brown glass ashtray and began scooting up the bed toward me. I adjusted my position to be laying on my left side, creating an area for Amber to snuggle into. She did just that, turning on her left side and wriggling her body into position. After she was entirely pressed against me and comfortable, I adjusted the pillow under her head and then snuck my arm under her neck between her shoulder and the pillow. I used that arm to wrap around her and hug her close with my hand on her right shoulder, further reinforcing our closeness with my right arm around her waist.
