So many things were racing through my mind that I was having a hard time tracking what I should be concerned about first. The number of questions that Hannah was going to have were almost too numerous, and too worrying to categorize. I couldn't even focus on one to develop a believable lie before another one popped up to elicit another mental panic.
When did you start smoking? You're smoking while you're pregnant!? Why is there another woman staying in your room? Who is she? What is that giant glass pipe next to the bed? If she's staying in the guest room, where are you staying? Where do you sleep?
I needed to group up with my ladies and develop answers to these questions immediately, but as Sienna began to lead Hannah around the house for an impromptu tour, I knew that there was no time. She also seemed totally at-ease, not at all freaking out about all the worries that were currently tormenting me. This was strange, because she knew as well as I did that we teetered on the edge of drawing way too much attention to our current lifestyle. Additionally, the last people we wanted in our business were her 'holier-than-thou' adoptive parents on some sort of moral crusade to 'take their daughter back' from our den of sin.
I watched and waited for the questions to begin, starting with Sienna introducing her to Kayla. Sienna knocked on her door and opened it after hearing a 'you can open it' from the other side. Sienna introduced her sister to her 'friend' and 'roommate' Kayla, which seemed to go well. Thankfully Kayla hadn't been in the middle of a giant bong hit or else it might've been a bit harder to ignore. Sienna breezily explained that she mostly slept on the couch these days because of how comfortable it was and how much she liked falling asleep while watching TV and it seemed to pacify any burgeoning questions the naïve redhead might've had.
Amber met the two teens at the door, most likely already on her way to see what the fuss was about. Again, a fairly bland introduction and official meeting between the two parties commenced without any major issues. As always Amber exercised her amazing warmth and bedside manner to instantly win her over and generate a broad smile on Hannah's face. I wished I could learn how she did that, remembering my slightly awkward handshake minutes earlier.
A quick motion towards the bathroom, laundry room, and storage closet and the tour was essentially complete. Sienna seemed be waiting for a response from Hannah, but Hannah appeared to be waiting for the same from Sienna.
"Are you sure I can stay? It seems like maybe there isn't enough room," Hannah asked meekly.
Sienna laughed and bonked herself on the forehead with her palm in a display of acknowledging her absentmindedness.
"The couch is huge! We can sleep on either side and still have enough room between us, trust me," she said, motioning towards the couch happily.
This seemed to elicit a genuine smile from Hannah, who appeared relieved to be comforted by a friendly and familiar face.
Funnily enough, it was Sienna whose face fell next and I wondered which subject she was about to broach that was giving her pause. I considered interrupting and trying to arrange an emergency meeting of the minds but knew that it would generate more suspicion than anything. Instead, I allowed Sienna to do her thing, trusting that she knew what she was doing.
"So, I have to tell you something," she began.
My heart began to race and the butterflies in my stomach seemed to begin fluttering all at once.
"You probably noticed the ashtrays," she added.
Hannah scanned the coffee table again, nodding to herself as she took in the overflowing cigarette butts and ash for the second time.
"You smoke now?" she asked.
"Yes, I smoke. I'm not going to apologize for it, and I don't want to quit, but I want to be upfront with you about it. I smoke, and I'm going to be smoking while you're here so if that's something that is going to upset you and you don't want to stay here as a result, we should probably get that out of the way," Sienna explained resolutely.
Hannah was visibly uncomfortable by the subject and being put on the spot and I had to admit that I felt kind of bad for the poor girl. She was clearly totally out of her depth and unaccustomed to being in opposition to her sister about anything. It had been very clear that there was some 'hero worship' energy between them, so this must've been a crisis of faith for her in some regards.
"Um, can I ask you about it?" she finally squeaked.
"Sure, what do you want to know?"
"When did you start? And why?" Hannah asked, avoiding eye-contact.
"Pretty much as soon as I moved in here. And I did it because I could, and my mom smokes and she seemed to enjoy it. And why not? I was just so tired of everything being off-limits to me so the first chance I had to do something that Ben and Julia would disapprove of I went for it. And honestly? I don't regret it. I like it and life is too fucking short to spend it scared of everything all the time," Sienna ranted.
Her tone had raised in pitch and intensity as she spoke and by the end of it, it had begun to sound like a half-time speech as she picked up steam. I was honestly pretty impressed by her passion, and figured she'd given one of two of those to her fellow athletes while in school.
"But shouldn't you quit while you're pregnant, at least?" Hannah asked.
"Actually, the dangers of quitting smoking during pregnancy usually outweigh the dangers of continuing to smoke due to increased weight-gain for the mother and child and increased stress which is very harmful to the baby. Mom's a nurse and explained how much bullshit there is out there about it. I was going to vape while I was pregnant but after learning that I just didn't see a point," Sienna stated matter-of-factly.
I looked over to see Amber practically beaming with pride at hearing her daughter spew potentially misleading information in defense of continuing to smoke. Obviously, she and I both knew that Sienna would've taken any excuse to avoid having to quit, but it was clear that Amber was having a 'mother' moment hearing her own words come out of her daughter's mouth as gospel.
Hannah seemed to be wrestling with what to ask next, clearly feeling like she was on the backfoot and uncomfortable with how oppositional Sienna was being. Again, I felt a pang of guilt hit me as she swallowed and seemed to shrink into herself.
"Sorry, I'm not trying to judge you. I just, I was curious," she replied.
Thankfully this seemed to signal Sienna to switch back into comforting big-sister mode, which brought with it a hug and several encouraging statements about how much she loved her and how happy she was to see her. I wasn't convinced that it was enough to stamp out the contentious air of the previous interaction, but it was certainly nice to see them attempting to reach an understanding. It was very obviously important to Sienna to maintain a relationship with her younger sister, and I didn't want her to have to cut her off like Ben and Julia just to maintain her new life.
"Anyone hungry?" I asked, hoping to brighten the mood.
