It's true that before I moved in with my stepmom, I had lived an extremely sheltered life and compared with a lot of people, a rather bizarre one too. I had been brought up by my father after my mother died. He was a very strict father who didn't allow me out much even when I was at school. I had friends at school, but my father never allowed me to bring them home. My father was a salesman and we moved around a lot, never staying in one place for very long. My father met my stepmom just before I started senior school. For whatever reason she seemed devoted to him. They married after a whirlwind romance and she moved in with us.
Mom tried very hard to make a home for us and for a while it worked. We were happy with regular meals and a tidy house. She was good to me, and I appreciated it. She was my stepmom, but she behaved as a real mother to me. Mom must have been pretty when young, as even in her forties she was attractive. She had wide blue eyes and mid length blond hair, which still looked good even though she now dyed it. Her skin was pale although she bronzed well in the summer. Mom had high cheek bones which could give her an imperious look when she was angry, but that was a rare state for her. She wasn't tall, but she wasn't short; in fact, she was just right.
She always smelt fresh and healthy and when she went out her perfume was deep and alluring. I used to be intoxicated by it, almost drugged by its perfect aroma.
When I was young, I never really looked at her as a sexual being, she was just 'mom'; but she had what it took to be a real woman. Large breast frequently strained against what she was wearing; and her ass, well it was just gorgeous. For me, she was perfect.
My mom and dad certainly seemed in love and the noise that came out of the bedroom confirmed this. On weekends they rarely left the bedroom and after my initial embarrassment I got used to it. Then the rows started, and I mean real rows with a lot of noise and shouting.
One Saturday night there was the worst row ever. My father was shouting, and I could hear mom's softer replies. It was so bad that I got out of bed and sneaked to their bedroom door. I put my ear to the door and heard clearly what they were saying.
Mom was crying between words.
'You're just too big to get it up there, it won't fit.''
''If you loved me you would let me do it.'' My father replied harshly.
'My ass is just too small.''
Then there were more tears and my father started to shout. This was followed by a regular bumping noise coming from the bed, in between the bumps I could hear my mom crying. I was scared and rushed back to my room.
The next day there was a strange silence between mom and dad. Then that night she left. My father had gone out to a bar and as soon as he left mom hastily packed a bag and went. Just before that she came into my room.
''I'm leaving your father, but always know that I love you. I'm your stepmom but you are like a real son to me. I will contact you later and when I'm settled there will be a place for you with me.''
With that she had kissed me and left.
After that I heard nothing, unknown to me my father intercepted every letter mom sent me. I was never allowed a laptop or a smart phone. He also turned more morose and angrier. It was shortly after my stepmom left that he instructed me in the dangers of masturbation. He said that if I did it, I would go blind and weak. I would destroy myself. For that reason, he would come into my room late at night or early in the morning, pull the covers off me to see if there was any evidence of masturbation. Any stains on the sheets or if I ever showed an erection, he would drag me outside and lock me naked in the shed.
Needless to say, this had an effect on me. If I felt myself getting hard, I would rush to the bathroom and take a cold shower. I trained myself to think of other things the moment a sexual thought came into my head. I gave up masturbation. Anything was better than a freezing night naked in the shed, a place so cold that my cock shrivelled so small it almost retracted into my body.
My father continued as a salesman and took to staying away for longer and longer times. Then one day he didn't come back. A week went by, then a month and then it was a year. By then I had left school and was working in the local library.
It must have been a month after my father had left, that I awoke with a huge morning erection; and still haunted by a fear of being caught with a hard on I rushed to have a cold shower. For some reason as the cold water hit my body, I turned the dial to hot. Soon hot water was flowing all over me, and I felt a stirring in my loins. I looked down and saw a hardening cock. I took it in my hand and for the first time in months I started to jerk it. A wave of sensuality rose from my balls but just as I was about to cum a terrible fear possessed me. I had a vision of being dragged naked to the shed and of being locked in in the cold darkness. I turned the dial back to cold and as the water poured over me, the feelings subsided, and my cock shrunk to normality.
Even though my father had long gone his power still had a hold over me. I didn't try jerking again.
Several weeks later there was a knock on the door and a man from the bank asked for my father. After I explained that I hadn't seen him for months he politely informed me that the bank was seizing the house. The mortgage was in serious arrears and it would have to be sold to cover the cost.
This did not actually bother me. I had some money of my own saved from my work. The house only held bad memories and I fancied a fresh start somewhere else. I applied for a job at a library in a large city several hundred miles away and was offered the post of assistant librarian. A new life was about to begin in which the problems of the past would be truly overcome.
*****
I often wonder if coincidences are really coincidences or whether fate is actually directing things, either way I had a surprise during my second week at the municipal library. Someone had given me three books to borrow, and I was just scanning them when I smelt the unmistakable luxuriant aroma of expensive perfume. I looked up, stared at the borrower and opened my mouth to say ''Mom'' but nothing came out. I was speechless but mom wasn't.
''Elliot, it's you. My goodness, what are you doing here?''
I blurted out, ''Working in the library.'' Then went red with embarrassment and felt foolish.
''No, I mean working here in this city.''
''I've moved here.''
Mom was now staring at me, her blue eyes focused intensely on mine.
''Look we need to talk. When do you finish work? I'll meet you after work and you can have dinner at my place.''
All was agreed.
*****