It's true that before I moved in with my stepmom, I had lived an extremely sheltered life and compared with a lot of people, a rather bizarre one too. I had been brought up by my father after my mother died. He was a very strict father who didn't allow me out much even when I was at school. I had friends at school, but my father never allowed me to bring them home. My father was a salesman and we moved around a lot, never staying in one place for very long. My father met my stepmom just before I started senior school. For whatever reason she seemed devoted to him. They married after a whirlwind romance and she moved in with us.
Mom tried very hard to make a home for us and for a while it worked. We were happy with regular meals and a tidy house. She was good to me, and I appreciated it. She was my stepmom, but she behaved as a real mother to me. Mom must have been pretty when young, as even in her forties she was attractive. She had wide blue eyes and mid length blond hair, which still looked good even though she now dyed it. Her skin was pale although she bronzed well in the summer. Mom had high cheek bones which could give her an imperious look when she was angry, but that was a rare state for her. She wasn't tall, but she wasn't short; in fact, she was just right.
She always smelt fresh and healthy and when she went out her perfume was deep and alluring. I used to be intoxicated by it, almost drugged by its perfect aroma.
When I was young, I never really looked at her as a sexual being, she was just 'mom'; but she had what it took to be a real woman. Large breast frequently strained against what she was wearing; and her ass, well it was just gorgeous. For me, she was perfect.
My mom and dad certainly seemed in love and the noise that came out of the bedroom confirmed this. On weekends they rarely left the bedroom and after my initial embarrassment I got used to it. Then the rows started, and I mean real rows with a lot of noise and shouting.
One Saturday night there was the worst row ever. My father was shouting, and I could hear mom's softer replies. It was so bad that I got out of bed and sneaked to their bedroom door. I put my ear to the door and heard clearly what they were saying.
Mom was crying between words.
'You're just too big to get it up there, it won't fit.''
''If you loved me you would let me do it.'' My father replied harshly.
'My ass is just too small.''
Then there were more tears and my father started to shout. This was followed by a regular bumping noise coming from the bed, in between the bumps I could hear my mom crying. I was scared and rushed back to my room.
The next day there was a strange silence between mom and dad. Then that night she left. My father had gone out to a bar and as soon as he left mom hastily packed a bag and went. Just before that she came into my room.
''I'm leaving your father, but always know that I love you. I'm your stepmom but you are like a real son to me. I will contact you later and when I'm settled there will be a place for you with me.''
With that she had kissed me and left.
After that I heard nothing, unknown to me my father intercepted every letter mom sent me. I was never allowed a laptop or a smart phone. He also turned more morose and angrier. It was shortly after my stepmom left that he instructed me in the dangers of masturbation. He said that if I did it, I would go blind and weak. I would destroy myself. For that reason, he would come into my room late at night or early in the morning, pull the covers off me to see if there was any evidence of masturbation. Any stains on the sheets or if I ever showed an erection, he would drag me outside and lock me naked in the shed.
Needless to say, this had an effect on me. If I felt myself getting hard, I would rush to the bathroom and take a cold shower. I trained myself to think of other things the moment a sexual thought came into my head. I gave up masturbation. Anything was better than a freezing night naked in the shed, a place so cold that my cock shrivelled so small it almost retracted into my body.
My father continued as a salesman and took to staying away for longer and longer times. Then one day he didn't come back. A week went by, then a month and then it was a year. By then I had left school and was working in the local library.
It must have been a month after my father had left, that I awoke with a huge morning erection; and still haunted by a fear of being caught with a hard on I rushed to have a cold shower. For some reason as the cold water hit my body, I turned the dial to hot. Soon hot water was flowing all over me, and I felt a stirring in my loins. I looked down and saw a hardening cock. I took it in my hand and for the first time in months I started to jerk it. A wave of sensuality rose from my balls but just as I was about to cum a terrible fear possessed me. I had a vision of being dragged naked to the shed and of being locked in in the cold darkness. I turned the dial back to cold and as the water poured over me, the feelings subsided, and my cock shrunk to normality.
Even though my father had long gone his power still had a hold over me. I didn't try jerking again.
Several weeks later there was a knock on the door and a man from the bank asked for my father. After I explained that I hadn't seen him for months he politely informed me that the bank was seizing the house. The mortgage was in serious arrears and it would have to be sold to cover the cost.
This did not actually bother me. I had some money of my own saved from my work. The house only held bad memories and I fancied a fresh start somewhere else. I applied for a job at a library in a large city several hundred miles away and was offered the post of assistant librarian. A new life was about to begin in which the problems of the past would be truly overcome.
*****
I often wonder if coincidences are really coincidences or whether fate is actually directing things, either way I had a surprise during my second week at the municipal library. Someone had given me three books to borrow, and I was just scanning them when I smelt the unmistakable luxuriant aroma of expensive perfume. I looked up, stared at the borrower and opened my mouth to say ''Mom'' but nothing came out. I was speechless but mom wasn't.
''Elliot, it's you. My goodness, what are you doing here?''
I blurted out, ''Working in the library.'' Then went red with embarrassment and felt foolish.
''No, I mean working here in this city.''
''I've moved here.''
Mom was now staring at me, her blue eyes focused intensely on mine.
''Look we need to talk. When do you finish work? I'll meet you after work and you can have dinner at my place.''
All was agreed.
*****
Mom picked me up straight after work and drove me to her compact little house in the suburbs. The house was small, but neat and tidy. In the dining room I noticed a photograph of myself on the sideboard. We did talk and the talking went on well past dinner. Mom listened intensely as I told her everything that had happened after she left my father, well not everything, I left out my nights locked naked in the shed.
I noticed her eyes getting misty as I told her how father had left and not returned. When I got to the part about the house being taken by the bank, a tear rolled down her cheek.
''Look Elliot, you must come and live here. There's a spare room and you can have it. I can't let you be in the same city as me and not be with me. I won't have you going back to your room. I won't have it.''
To be honest, I was rather embarrassed. The easy way out would have been to go back to my room, hiding away on my own. I had lived for a long time on my own since leaving school and getting a job. No one else and no pressure. But I couldn't say no, she was after all my mom, so I said, ''I'd be delighted to stay.''
''Good, we can go back to your place and pick up your stuff. Your first night here will be tonight.''
For the first time I smiled, mom really was kind. She really did care about me.
''If only that bastard hadn't destroyed my letters, you could have been here years ago. But never mind, we will make up for that lost time. I'll make it good for you. Elliot you are going to be happy here.''
So that night I moved in with mom.
*****
Mom worked in the city centre as a clerk for the municipal authorities. She left about eight in the morning and was back by six. I started at the library at nine and finished by four. This gave me some time on my own. I was still curious about mom and what had happened during those years after she left. Mom had told me that she had stayed with her sister; then, when my father tried to contact her she had moved here to the city. She felt safe from him here hundreds of miles away. Mom told me she was dating but had no intention of marrying again.
I met her partner the following weekend. His name was John, he also worked for the municipal authority. He was an attractive man in his fifties, slightly greying hair but quite distinguished looking. 'Conservative' was the way I would sum him up. They had a healthy relationship because on Saturday night he stayed over, and after they went to bed I could hear the bed creaking in a steady rhythm.
It was two weeks after I moved in that I was given my first afternoon off. The house was quiet and empty. The door to mom's bedroom had been left open and I went in. I knew it was wrong, but curiosity drove me on. Like the rest of the house the room was neat and tidy, bed made, no clothes left on the floor. The wardrobe doors were closed, well almost closed. One was slightly ajar, and curiosity drew me to it, I paused, then opened it.
On the shelf inside was a large pink penis shaped vibrator. I picked it up and flicked the switch, it vibrated so strongly that it leapt from my hand and fell onto the floor. It seemed to have a life of its own. The whirring noise seemed deafening. I picked it up and turned it off. Then I turned it on again and held it against my crotch. I had an instant erection. My goodness, it was powerful. I turned it off and put it back on the shelf in the wardrobe.
I rushed back into my bedroom and laid on the bed. I unzipped my flies, opened my pants, and pulled out my cock. It was rock hard and demanded attention. I began furiously jerking it. The vision of the pink vibrator filled my mind. It was so big and so hard, just like a cock. Did mom really use that thing? Could she get such a gigantic object into her pussy? I felt my sperm churning in my balls. I was about to shoot but just as my cum began bubbling upwards, I was zapped by the vision of the open door of the shed. I could hear my father's harsh voice shouting, ''Get in you deviant, you fucking pervert!'' And all was gone, no ejaculation, no cum, no erection. I sat up despondent. Was my life going to be one of total sexlessness? Would I never get sexual satisfaction?
For a while, I don't know for how long, I was lost in my thoughts. Then some hope returned. I was in a new place, I was with my mom, this was a new start. It must get better. I lay back and started to jerk again. I took my time, beginning with slow strokes until my cock grew strong, straight and hard. Then I increased the rhythm, it was getting more sensual with every stroke. I could feel my sperm bubbling in my balls. I kept going. Now I was jerking ferociously, the strokes were merging into one continuous pulling. I could feel my cum waiting to be sprung free, my balls were contracting in expectation. Then the door opened, and a voice said my name. It was mom.
