I had just witnessed the sexiest and most beautiful thing I had ever seem: my son masturbating to orgasm. The sight was seared into my brain now, I do not ever remember being so aroused. I could literally feel ever beat on my racing heart in my throbbing clitoris. My vagina was wet and dilated. My lubrication was flowing out of me, coating my inner thighs and running down the crack of my behind.
I knew my scent was obvious. Gary had to smell my arousal; I could smell my own scent.
I wanted to touch him, take him into my mouth, lay back and let him enter me.
But I knew I could not do that. I knew that while watching my son masturbate was terribly wrong, and taking his erection into my hand to clean off he globs of semen was far over the line, I had not actually committed a sin of incest.
I had not actually engaged in sexual activity with my son. I had watched him jack off, and the sight had aroused me more than I can describe; but I had not lost my soul, yet.
"Gary, we better get some sleep. We have a full day of driving tomorrow. Santa Fe is still a long way off." I tried to sound normal and casual, pretending nothing had changed between us as I released his rigid cock.
I climbed into the other bed and turned off the lights. Gary remained on top of his covers, lying there silently for the moment.
With the light from the parking lot steaming through the motel curtains to our room, I could see Gary's silhouette lying on top of his bed. His penis was still erect as he lay there, his chest still heaving as he recovered from his 'self induced orgasm'.
God, I was so aroused. I needed to touch myself...I needed to cum...I needed a release...I started to slowly masturbate under the covers...
I lay on my back and pulled the covers up. Silently; my fingers found my clitoris. In the dark silence of the room, I began slowly rubbing small circles on my erect and sensitive nubbin. I needed a release. If I could keep from moaning, I felt that I could achieve my orgasm without Gary detecting what I was doing.
After just a minute or two, I heard Gary stir. He got up and approached my bed. I froze, not sure what he was doing, not sure how to react.
Gary started to climb into bed with me. The room was dark, but I could see his silhouette against the glow of the parking lot lights through the curtains covering the window. He was still naked. His semi-erect penis swayed boldly in front of him as he approached me. "Baby, what are you doing?" I asked with a slight panic in my voice.
"I want to be close to you, mom. I want to hold you and cuddle with you before we go to sleep," he replied as he climbed under the covers.
"Oh baby, that is not a good idea. We have already done things we probably should not have done. We are asking for trouble if we sleep in the same bed." My voice did not seem convincing to even me. I was trying to be good; but I knew this was a very dangerous moment. My heart pounded in my chest with fear and excitement.
"I just want to hold you for a moment, mom. I will go back to my own bed before we fall asleep." It sounded innocent, but we both knew it was not. My fingers were still touching my clitoris, but my movements had stopped as I processed what was happening. I said nothing.
I was still wearing my t-shirt, but nothing else.
Gary's naked form slid under the covers next to me. Not sure what to do, or how to react, I slowly turned on my side, placing my back towards my son. Gary moved in to spoon me, draping his arm around me. He pulled me close; I could feel his penis begin to throb to life against my bare backside. I felt paralyzed, unable to move. Gary moved his hand down my shoulders and arm, massaging and rubbing my arm and shoulder, slowly encroaching on the side of my breasts.
I felt dizzy, confused, unsure of what to do; actually not even sure what I could do. "Gary, you must not do this. Please, this is not right." My voice cracked as I spoke. But I did not try to remove his hand. And I did not lower my arm to block his access to my breast. I just laid there motionless, allowing my son to stroke the side of my breast.
"Mom, it is okay. I just want to me near you, to touch you. I love you so much." And I knew he did. I could feel the love in his voice and his touch. And I was deeply in love with my son too.
I did not respond, silently trying to determine what I should do. Gary's hand slowly, tentatively slid down the side of my breast on top of my cotton t-shirt, and found my very erect nipple. He began to fondle my nipple through the cotton material as I tried to stifle my moan.
"Oh baby, please, don't..." I said in a weak protest. I brought my hand up and took hold of his fingers which were teasing my nipple. I intended to remove his hand from my breast, but I didn't. I simply held his hand in place against my breast. I could not seem to muster the strength to actually pull his hand from my breast; the contact was simply too pleasurable. I could not bring myself to make him stop. God forgive me, I needed my son's touch at that moment.
Gary slowly started to move his hand away from my breast, down my flat, tight stomach. I grabbed his hand and held it, preventing him from reaching his target. Gary then simply said, "I love you mom. Please let me touch you. Please."
"Oh Gary, I can't. It is not right. We can't do this," I said, almost crying, my voice shaking.
"Please, mom. Please."
I remained silent for fifteen seconds or so. In a strange way, I felt like I was not even in control of my own body; I felt like I was outside watching this surreal situation unfold. I felt that I was more of an observer than a participant.
I slowly released his hand despite knowing we should not do this. And as I released Gary's hand, I knew that I was going to permit my son to touch me, to touch me in the most intimate manner, in a manner that sons should never touch their mothers.
Gary found the hem of my t-shirt and slowly slid his hand underneath to explore the area between my thighs. My son quickly discovered that I was not wearing any panties and that my vagina was wet and unprotected.