A Mothers Sin Ch 05

Gary and I made it to Santa Fe two days before my dad passed away peacefully. We remained for the funeral and the family gatherings that followed. Those days remain a blur in my memory. Clearly, between my father's passing, the funeral and the family interactions, there were no opportunities for Gary and me to be intimate; not that I wanted to be intimate under these circumstances.

The slight respite gave me some time to search my soul about the events of the past week without a heightened state of arousal clouding my judgment. I came to the conclusion that allowing my son into my bed was wrong by any measure. It was a mistake of epic proportions. I can give all the excuses in the world, but it was wrong.

However, I also realized that whatever harm was going to be inflicted on my son because of my weakness and emotional vulnerability was likely already done. Gary had slept with his mother; there was no changing that fact. There was nothing I could do to undo my sin. The real question was, 'would it harm him further to continue this inappropriate relationship? Should I insist upon ending this relationship now, or could I let it continue?'

I honestly did not know the answer. I did know that I have never felt more fulfilled, content or loved that I felt when I lay in Gary's arms, with his penis deep inside me following a mutual orgasm that we shared. Lying coupled together in post-coital bliss was pleasurable beyond words. I did not want to give up that feeling. I was not sure that I could give up the intimacy that my son and I had shared, even if I wanted to. The pleasure was too great, too fulfilling.

I also realized that regardless what I decided about continuing the physical aspect of my relationship with my son, neither Gary nor I could be fully trusted to behave. The attraction was too strong, too intoxicating, too addictive. So I religiously took my oral contraceptive pill every day. I needed to be certain that I did not conceive my son's child. That was something I was not prepared to do.

But I did know that I should not be the aggressor. I should not initiate these encounters. If Gary could resist the urge to try to fuck me, I knew I should not try to tempt him. Of this I was sure.

Three days following the funeral, we packed the car, said our goodbyes, and started the long drive home.

We left early, heading out of Santa Fe, heading east on I 40. Gary slept most of the morning. We stopped for lunch and Gary took him turn behind the wheel.

I took a nap while Gary drove. I awoke mid afternoon. I looked over at my son and I wondered, 'What was Gary's state of mind? What did he want or expect when we arrived home in Chicago?'

I would soon find out. Gary broached the subject of our relationship. "Mom, can we talk?"

"Sure honey. What's on your mind?" I asked somewhat nervously.

"What's going to happen when we get home? I mean, between us?"

"What do you mean, baby?" I asked trying to understand exactly what my son was asking.

"Mom, do we belong to each other?"

"Oh god, of course we do. You are my son. I love you in a way I will never love anyone else."

"No, mom, that is not what I mean." Gary took a moment before continuing. "Mom, do you belong to me? Are you mine? ...Mom, are you going to date other guys?"

Gary's question caught me off guard; no, it shocked me. I had not even contemplated that he would think we were a monogamous couple. As a defense mechanism, I laughed and said, "Oh Gary, you are absolutely adorable. I just love you."

It was an insensitive and condescending thing to say. Gary's face flushed a bright crimson from embarrassment. His expression changed and he looked genuinely hurt. I struggled to find the right words to undo the hurt I had caused my son.

"Honey, some things happened on the trip down here that should not have happened. I think we were thrust into an unusual situation at a time when we were both very vulnerable; at least I was. My father was dying and I needed to be close to someone who loved me. I turned to you. I shouldn't have. But I did. I am sorry for that." I said before pausing.

"So you did not enjoy it? Are you saying you don't want to be with me that way again?" Gary responded, his voice quaking slightly as he struggled with his emotions. He was feeling an enormous sense of rejection at this moment.

I wanted to hold him, hug him, comfort him, but he was driving and could do none of those things. I considered for a moment that if we were not traveling at 75 mile per hour on Intestate 40 at the moment, I would comfort him, which would lead to me taking him into my arms, which would lead to taking him inside me again. I decided it was good that I could not touch him at this moment. I did reach over and squeeze his thigh to reassure him of my deep affection for him.

I decided to be honest, at least mostly honest. "Gary, what happened between us should not have happened. I was wrong to allow it to happen. But since you asked, I enjoyed it tremendously; both physically and emotionally. I will be guilt ridden for the rest of my life, but it was also the second most beautiful experience I have ever had. I have never felt so loved, so satisfied or so content as I did lying in your arms, with your penis still inside me, after you gave me the most powerful and enjoyable orgasm I have ever experienced. Baby, I am an evil, wicked, sinful woman for saying this, but yes, I enjoyed making love to you."

"Second, most beautiful?" he asked. He seemed to have missed the entire point I was making and focused immediately on being number two.

"Baby, giving birth to you, the first time I saw you and held you as a baby, and placed you to my breast, that experience is definitely number one." I said confident that being second to his birth should not offend him.

He smiled broadly. "Are you going to allow me to do that to you again? Can we be together again?"

"Honey, I don't think we should. I want to share that with you, but I am afraid that I am harming you."

"Mom, you are not. I promise you, you are not hurting me. I need you. I need to be with you and to touch you. I don't think I can stand being in the house with you and not having you." Gary said with a love and passion that I knew was genuine and sincere.

I noticed Gary's crotch was starting to bulge a bit. This conversation was arousing my son.

"Baby, I have the same desire, and the same needs. I don't know if I could ever say no to you, ever." I said before pausing. "But if we continue, we have to establish some guidelines. I have to know that I am not interfering with your normal social interaction with girls your own age."

Gary's face lit up like a Christmas tree when I indicated that there was a scenario that would allow us to continue our intimacies.

"Gary, you have to date girls your own age. If I feel like I am interfering with you dating girls, I will stop this. I will have to stop this. I love you too much not to stop this."

Gary nodded, and then offered, "But mom, I promise I won't do these things with them. I will save that for you. I don't want to do these things with anyone except you."

"Gary, that is precisely what I am talking about. You have to interact with girls your own age as if we were not intimate. If you can't do that, I am hurting you; and I would be forced to stop."

Gary nodded as he answered, "So you want me to fuck other girls?"

I decided that I would not address my son's use of the word 'fuck' in front of his mother, especially since recently I had said something to the effect of 'fuck me harder' while he was pounding my pussy with his erection several days ago. I felt that I lost the moral high ground to criticize him for cursing the moment I let him enter me. No, his choice of words would not be the issue today.

"Gary, I do not want you to have sex with anybody because of me; but I certainly do not want you to abstain from sex because of me either."

"But mom, you have told me many, many times that having sex at my age can lead to pregnancy and/or disease. Wouldn't be better if I did not have sex with anyone except you?"

Damn, he was good. He had a point. If taking my son into my bed kept him from contracting an incurable disease, or getting a girl pregnant, then maybe I was actually protecting my son, not harming him? Was I simply rationalizing my bad behavior? Perhaps. But Gary did have a point.

"Gary, I just don't want you to fail to experience the discovery of sex with a girl your own age because you are rushing home to hop into my bed."

"Mom, I will be going away to college in the fall. That is only five months away. When I am away at school, I will date, and I will probably experience sex with other girls. Until then, I want to belong to you until I leave."

I could see I was not going to dissuade my son from this. And honestly, I was very flattered that he wanted only me. After all, I was a middle aged woman, not a young nubile teenager. Objectively speaking though, although at age 37, I still did look pretty damn good.

"OK. But I still want you to date, even if you do not have sex. And if you find someone you are really attracted to, I won't be mad or jealous if you do advance the relationship into a physical one."

"Mom, what about you? Are you going to date?"

"Gary, I have not been on a date in many months. I have not slept with any man, other than my son in almost a year. It will not be a sacrifice for me to give up dating until you leave for college."

Gary smiled broadly again. I could see the gleam in his eyes as he concluded that we were a couple.

"But honey, we have to act like mother and son, not lovers. No one can ever suspect, even for a second that there is anything physical going on between us. And just because we are sharing a bed, does not change the other aspects of our relationship. You still have to obey me, and treat me with respect. Understand?"

"Absolutely mom. In fact, now that I know you can cut me off if I don't clean my room, or do my homework, I'll be perfect."

I smiled and said, "You better be. Else no treats for you. No bedtime stories."

We had just driven into Oklahoma City. We were planning on turning north on towards Springfield and looking for a place to spend the night. We were a few miles from the junction with I-44, when Gary asked another question that revealed the complexities we were imposing upon ourselves.

"Mom, I know when we are back in Chicago, at home, we will never be able to be 'on a date' when we are outside. I will always have to behave like you are my mother."

"I am your mother, you little twit" I interrupted.

"I know. You know what I mean. I will never be able to hold your hand in public, or kiss you in public. Or do any of the things I want to do with the woman who belongs to me."

"I guess that is right. No one can ever see us doing any of that stuff."

"Do you think we could go out on a date while we are traveling home?"

I stared at my son with a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, could I take you out to dinner or dancing, or someplace and we pretend that you are my girlfriend? No one here knows who we are. No one knows you are my mom. I really want to have one date with you."

Gary's suggestion had a lot of appeal, but I saw some real problems as well.

"Honey, I am 37 years old, you are 18. I do not look like your girlfriend."

"Mom, you look great. No one would look at you and think you are 37. They would think you are 24 or 25 at the most."

I smiled thinking 'this kid is a real charmer. He was buttering me up to get what he wants'. And it was working. I was buying his bull shit that I only looked like I was 24.

"I guess you can pass for 21 or 22, so it is possible we look like a couple." I considered the possibilities for a moment. "I tell you what, rather than go up I 44 towards Springfield, let's stay on I40 into Memphis. We can get in early and have one date night. You pick the restaurant, the after dinner dancing. I will even let you select my outfit. Tomorrow night, you are the man and I am your little girlfriend. I will give you the money to pay for things. I will hang on your arm and let you do with me what you will."

I looked over and saw a bulge twitching in Gary's crotch. The thought of me allowing him to call the shots tomorrow night really excited him.

"You'll really let me select your outfit?"

"Yes sir, I will. As long as you don't try to dress me in something that will get me arrested, you get to dress me tomorrow night. I will even let you bathe me, and paint my toe nails and prepare me for our date. Would you like that? Would you like to get me ready for our date?"

The front of Gary's pants was like a tent now. I had gotten my baby hard just talking to him like this. I was going to have fun with my son for the next several months. I reached over and gave his cock a little squeeze.

"It sure looks like you like the thought of getting me ready. Is it the thought of bathing me? Or painting my toe nails? Or dressing me that has you so hard?" I teased as I gave his cock another playful squeeze.

"Oh shit mom, you are so sexy."

I removed me hand, fearing that further distraction would cause him to crash. And we began looking for a place to spend the night.

We pulled off I-40 about 100 miles east of Oklahoma City and checked into a La Quinta motel. I sent Gary in with my credit card to register us. We walked to our room, carrying our overnight bags. I was surprised when we opened the door to find one king sized bed.

"Gary, didn't they have any doubles?"

"Yeah, they did, but I told him that my girl and I prefer a king. He never even asked about the fact that it was your name on the credit card."

I looked into Gary's eyes, and I felt a rush of love and affection for him.

"Honey, would you do me a favor?"

"Sure mom, what is it?"

"Would you please take off all your clothes for me? I would like to do something" I said as I walked over to the bed to get a pillow.

Gary quickly stripped off his shirt, shoes, socks, pants and underwear. I had never seen anyone get out of their clothes so quickly. His cock was growing erect in anticipation of what might be happening.

I stood back for a moment, watching his erection throb to life, admiring the wonderful physique my son had. His prominent chest and tight abdomen framed his large boner nicely. Gary had nice biceps and muscular thighs. There was no doubt about it, my son was a handsome and sexy man. I admit, I was proud of his physique and good looks.

"My, you sure got naked fast. You never move that fast when I ask you to take out the garbage" I chuckled. "Gary, you have a beautiful body. You remind me of the Greek statues of the Greek gods of mythology. That is a beautiful erection you have thee son. Stand here for a second," I said, beckoning him to the area next to the bed.

I placed the pillow on the floor in front of my son, and I knelt down. Looking up at him from a knelling position, I took his cock in my fist and slowly, and seductively, leaned forward and kissed the head.

I looked up at him, and said simply, "You have a beautiful penis. And tonight, it is mine, all mine. Baby, you may not believe this, but you have the largest and most beautiful cock I have ever seen. It is gorgeous."

I then leaned forward and took the very tip of my tongue and inserted it slightly into the tiny slit at the tip of his head, looking up at Gary the entire time. His erection arched up, the head swelled slightly larger and the shaft pulsed thicker as the tip of my tongue invaded the very opening of his urethra.

Gary's knees seemed to buckle slightly and a loud moan came from his core. His penis grew longer and the head larger. He quickly had both hands on the sides of my head, holding me in place, as I continued to tease his highly sensitive slit with my tongue.

I looked up at him.

"Oh, you like that huh? I thought you might." I said before repeating the intrusion of my tongue into this very tiny, very tight slight slit at the end of his erections. I could only get the very tip of my tongue inside the slit, but it was having a very powerful effect.

Gary was literally shaking each time I repeated this. I owned him now. He would follow me anywhere. I smiled to myself thinking he would go his whole life trying to get women to repeat this little game I was playing with the head of his penis right now.

I looked up at him and took the head into my mouth and pumped his shaft slowly as I sucked on him. I removed his cock from my mouth just long enough to ask, "Would you like to cum in my mouth, baby? Would you like that?"

"Oh god, yes" he responded as he placed his hands on the sides of my head and attempted to push himself deeper into my throat.

"Whoa there, cowboy. You let me drive. I will take care of you, but don't try too push down my throat, OK? And let me know when you feel like you are going to shoot, OK?"

He nodded in full agreement.

"Put your hands down, OK?" I instructed.

"Mom, I want to touch you while you are doing this."

I thought for a second, "OK, place your hands on my shoulders, OK? You can give me a shoulder massage while I take care of you."

Gary started massaging my shoulders as I kissed and licked the large purple head of his erection. I traced the tip of my tongue around the ridge of the glands, evoking a deep guttural moan and a shudder from his core.

"You like it when mommy does that to her baby's penis?"

Gary's cock pulse firmly in my hand the second I mentioned the word 'mommy'. Clearly, being reminded of our taboo relationship, aroused both Gary and me. I could feel my vagina leaking out of me; the lubrication was trickling down my inner thighs.

I took the head back into my mouth and slowly pumped he shaft. Gary began moving his hips in time to my slow strokes of his thickly veined shaft. I continued to twirl my tongue around the head, and pump his cock.

After a few minutes of me teasing the head of his cock, Gary's movements became more pronounced as his climax approached. I knew he was close.

"Oh...oh...mom, I'm going shoot...mom, oh shit...now, mom" he warned me.

And an instant later Gary whole body stiffened and a large shudder rocked through him as he grunted. Simultaneously, a very large dollop of his semen erupted in my mouth. I almost never allow a man to ejaculate in my mouth, and I never swallow; but this was different. This was my baby's sperm. I did not want to waste a drop.

As I struggled to swallow the first rope of his cum, another rope shot into my mouth. I was being overwhelmed by my son's semen. After the second rope of semen shot into my mouth, I had to pull away so I could keep from gagging.

As I pulled away from my baby's pulsing cock, with my mouth brimming with the warm, salty, slightly bitter semen, another smaller string erupted and dribbled down the head of Gary's cock and over my fist.

It took me several seconds to swallow the large load so I could speak. The taste was not offensive at all. In fact in a way it was pleasant. But the viscous nectar was somewhat difficult to choke down; especially since I was completely inexperienced at swallowing a man's cum. I had not decided yet whether or not to tell my son that I had never swallowed another man's semen before tonight.

I leaned forward and kissed the head one last time. The semen that had dribbled down the head of his cock seemed to form a viscous string his cock and my lips as I pulled away. I smiled, looked up at my son, and licked the string of sperm sucking it into my mouth.

"Mom, that was unbelievable. Thank you."

"Honey, I enjoyed doing that for you. Honey, how long have you been saving that up? That was a lot of semen. You could drown a girl with that stuff."

"I have been saving it up for you since the last time we made love, almost a week ago. It was so hard not to jack off, but I wanted to save it up for you. I didn't know you would take me in your mouth. I am sorry it was so much."