A PLEDGE OF PURITY CH. 01
For compliance purposes, all sexually active characters are over the age of eighteen. Any underage activities are literary insinuations or take place only in the reader's imagination.
This story does contain some religious elements so be forewarned if you are offended by that sort of thing.
When my daughter was eight I discovered that my wife was having an affair with one of her college tutoring clients. I also discovered that she was a lesbian. I was angry that she had cheated on me, and to be frank, kind of insulted she had cheated on me with another woman. As it turned out, this had not been a one time fling. She had been having a several months affair with the student. Because of the situation and social attitudes back then, it was not that hard for me to get full custody of Alice, our daughter.
I'm Ray and I've been a single father for the past 10 years. As the years have gone by I have more or less forgiven my ex-wife. I just wish she could have talked to me like an adult when she came to terms with her sexuality instead of sneaking around and traumatizing our daughter. While I have forgiven her, my daughter never has.
My daughter had a bit of an overreaction upon learning about her mother's lesbianism and her adultery at the same time. She learned that lesbianism was viewed by some faiths as an "unnatural life choice". To my shame, for the first couple of years I encouraged this viewpoint since it made Alice hate her mother as much as I did at the time.
Alice became very religious. Although I wasn't particularly religious, I made an effort to support her decision. I let her go to a parochial grade school and an all-girls parochial high school. I attended mass with her once a week and the major holidays. I even attended a purity ball with her. This was an informal event put on by twenty or so Catholic, Lutheran, and Episcopalian families which were not part of the Evangelical Purity movement. Instead of signing pledges, they filmed us saying our pledges. The idea was that videos would have more of an impact on the girls since they could review themselves making the vows instead of just occasionally looking at a standardized certificate.
I thought that the all-girls school and to a certain extent the purity ball were a good thing if it discouraged Allie from being pressured into sex too early. However, unlike many of the parents at the ball, I wasn't that concerned about her having premarital sex when she came to the age of consent so long as she showed good judgment. I tried to set a good example and so rarely dated. Plus dating was hard enough when you are a single parent, it was even harder when your daughter innocently sabotaged your love life by asking dates their favorite scripture passages, suggesting instead of going out we could have a bible study and things of that nature.
Once we attended the purity ball however Allie changed quite a bit. She had always been a happy-go-lucky and affectionate child. But after that Purity Ball, she became very straitlaced and consumed by her studies and faith. Even after she turned sixteen and was allowed to date she didn't.
I wanted her to live a full life but also wanted to respect her choices. So I asked if she planned on becoming a nun. She wanted to become a wife and mother. She was well into her seventeenth year when I had to actively encourage her to start dating. Her lack of dating was entirely her own doing. Everywhere she went, which to be truthful was not very many places, she turned heads.
At 18 Allie is a very beautiful young woman with long, shimmering black hair that hangs to the middle of her back, high cheekbones, piercing blue eyes, a small but sharp nose, wide lips, and a small chin. She is just over five feet tall with an athletic build except for her breasts which are 34ddd. I told her that she would never meet the right guy if she didn't date anyone. So for the next year, she would date a few times a month. Usually, though she only went out with a guy once or twice before deciding he wasn't the one.
What I found most troubling was that almost right after her purity ball, she became estranged from me. She used to show me regular displays of daughterly affection; hugs, kisses on the cheek, and would curl up on the couch with me. But she stopped doing it on her own and when I tried to hug her or kiss her she became rigid like she could not stand to touch me. It was very hurtful. Especially when I asked her if she was angry or if something was bothering her and she always said no. When I would tell her I loved her, she would give me a smile that was almost a grimace and reply, "I love you too, daddy."
Our encounters were usually confined to quick greetings in the mornings as she rushed off to school and suppers. Allie dutifully prepared the evening meals, although her culinary skills were rather basic. We ate together but our conversations were minimalist. I'd ask her questions and receive short replies. Once she started pulling away from me I tried to get her to watch movies with me or play board games. However, she had all the enthusiasm of someone about to be tortured. Eventually, I stopped asking. We lived in the same house but acted more like distant roommates than father and daughter.
We only saw each other at mealtimes and sometimes not even then because Allie had a fairly lucrative babysitting business. She was in great demand because her clients knew she wouldn't bring a boy around and because she was great with kids. She liked it because she could get paid for doing her homework.
At first, I thought Allie was just doing adolescent distancing but it continued even past her 18
th
birthday. She told me that she wanted to go to either Cottey College or Stephen College which were still primarily all female. It suddenly dawned on me that Allie might be gay, even if she would not, or could not, admit it to herself.
