Our Toyota 4Runner crunched to a stop on gravel and snow in the parking lot at a State Game Reserve in Cumberland County, PA. It was 7am and my Mom and I were headed out for a 12 mile circular day hike in what we hoped was solitude, the popular game seasons now being over.
"Hah!" she said, turning to me with a smile. The parking lot was deserted. When we hiked we liked to be completely alone and pretend we were in the wilderness. She'd picked me up from Philadelphia where she worked and we'd driven up west of Harrisburg for a three day weekend of hiking in the wilds of central Pennsylvania. It was mid-February and about 15 degrees below freezing. But the sun was forecast to be shining all day.
I grinned back at her, and went to get my gear out. It was only a day hike but I wanted to break in a big new backpack. More importantly, I wanted to see how I could cope with a 12 miler and a 60lb load. I was going to the Rockies in the summer with some buddies, and I would not be shown any mercy if I could not cut it.
Mom helped me with it; she only had a small day-hike pack. She also had the maps, trail mix and Garmin GPS. She looked good in her gear, a short shell jacket, form-fitting hiker slacks, over high tech thermal underwear. When we were ready she turned to find the trailhead out of the car-park. I followed her, and off we went.
Let me tell you something about my mother. She is an unusual woman. She had me when she was twenty, at college. I was an 'accident' with her then-boyfriend whom I now call 'Dad'. The pregnancy might have put an end to her higher education (or me), but fortunately she comes from a rich family who welcomed my entry into the world. I expect some harsh words were said at the time, no doubt. She carried on in college and I was brought up by nannies and sent to private boarding schools as soon as I was old enough. My father and mother split up soon after I arrived, but he kept in touch and I saw him as often as possible while I was growing up. Mom went on to Med School and graduated as an MD, but found she did not enjoy medical practice and switched to research. She currently holds a senior position in a well known medical research institute in Philadelphia. I'm not going to tell you which one because her face is on their website. I'm also going to refer to her as Mom, although in real life I often use her first name. But my name really is David.
Mom is an attractive woman, approaching forty. She is very fit, slim, and looks a bit like Shania Twain although to be truthful Shania has the edge on her in looks. I had seen Mom regularly but not often as I was growing up. I loved her deeply although perhaps more like an aunt than a mother. Mom has her weird side. She has an impish sense of humor. Like many docs she sees people as bags of flesh, bone, muscles and nerves to be maintained, just like an engine or other working machine. Consequently she has no hang-ups whatsoever about bodies and their functions - be it pee, poo, sex, or anything else. She had boyfriends in the past, but was on her own at the time of our hike, had been for two years. I think the last one hurt her a little. I was glad they split up, I never liked him much.
Once out of the car-park we walked silently through a landscape of bare ground and snow. It had fallen a week ago and there was still plenty of the white stuff around. After a while Mom's voice interrupted my thoughts as we trudged through the woods up a gentle slope. She has a nice voice, gentle and sweet.
"Talk to me, Davy. What are you thinking about?"
At that particular moment I had been thinking about sex, so I cast around for a more suitable subject. I took too long and she was on to me.
"Thinking about sex again, Davy? When are you going to get a girlfriend?"
Darn. It was true. I didn't have one. I was eighteen and a half and not only did I not have a girlfriend, I had never had a girl. Sad, isn't it? Not to mention embarrassing, as it seemed to be obvious to everyone I met. I was obsessed with it. All I ever thought about, outside of studying, was sex. Yes, I was attending an Ivy League school. But what comfort was that?
"I'm trying Mom. It's your fault for sending me to an all-boys school. You're lucky I didn't turn out gay."
"There's still time if you are that way inclined. I wouldn't care as long as you are happy."
My mother led the way. I focused on her behind, watching her butt-cheeks make interesting creases in her hiker slacks as we walked. We stopped for a breather as the trail got steeper near the crest of a hill.
"I think you are just shy. Maybe you are trying too hard."
"No Mom. My problem is that I'm 18 but I look 15. Girls of my age are just not interested. I could probably date a fourteen year old."
"Go for it. I'll visit you in prison. Now where are we, I must check."
She got out her map and GPS and decided on the next leg. I stood there miserable. I hadn't come out here to talk about my sex life, or lack thereof. It was frustrating. I am hung like a horse. I come like a champion bull. I have a lot to offer beneath the waist. But can you walk around displaying your wares? No. Not in Pennsylvania anyway. I got no sympathy from my father, who lives on the West Coast, either: "You're lucky. There was no internet porn around when I was growing up. At least you've got something." It didn't help that my father had a really attractive girlfriend who I had a puppy-like crush on. Dammit.
There was a squirrel on a tall branch looking down at me. He knew I was a virgin. I could see it in his sneering little eyes.
"This away," said Mom, striding off over the ridge.
After about two hours on the trail, we came to a section of recently fallen trees blocking the way forward along a low ridge. The sun had come up showing a landscape of small wooded hills with plenty of snow still around, especially in the gullies and North-facing slopes. To the right was a slope down to a flat snow-covered area in a bowl with fallen trees lying around at interesting angles. From there was a clear way back up to the trail on the ridge. Mom was standing still, looking around for options. I was getting hot so I unzipped the air vents on my clothing. I was in gung ho mode and started down the slope, reached the flat area in seconds, and climbed onto a fallen tree-trunk. I leaped off onto the flat area and crashed feet first through thin ice into about four feet of freezing cold water.
The icy water soaked my clothing almost immediately, because I had loosened it. I had never felt anything so cold in my life and my chest was paralyzed immediately. The heavy pack weighed me down and my entire body was under water in a moment, including my head. I couldn't breath and I couldn't move with my pack on top of me. Seconds later there was a crash beside me as another body entered the water and hands grabbed me and my pack, pulling me up. My face surfaced and I spluttered. I swear I thought the cold would kill me there and then. Mom was battling to keep me above water and lift the pack so I could straighten up. My feet found the bottom. Pushing away the thin snow-covered ice we grabbed onto tree limbs as we hauled ourselves out of the water, emerging soaking wet and white with shock and cold.
We both started shivering violently almost immediately.
"We have to get wet our clothes off right now. Did you pack your new bag?"
"Yyyyeess."
Mom opened my backpack, fumbling with the connections as the cold made her fingers numb.
"Get your clothes off. I hope the bag is not too wet." It wasn't. Tightly packed, and inside the rucksack it was pretty dry. Nothing else was. We pulled off our clothes, flung them down, unzipped the bag and climbed in. To this day I don't know what would have happened if I had not brought the bag.
