Words With Different Meanings
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The English language is a wonderful thing yet at the same time can be so confusing it's wonder anyone ever learns it at all! Forget the weird spellings and other such idiosyncrasies, just look at how many words mean almost the same thing but yet are really drastically different in how they are interpreted.
For example, take the word "slut". To me, I'm proud when someone calls me a slut as I take that to mean they see me as being sexy and desirable and unafraid to use those qualities to get what I want. A lot depend on who calls me that. Like my dad, when he calls me his "little slut" it's a term of endearment. My mom called me a slut when I was a teen because she knew I was sexually active and not extremely particular about who I did it with. Then there were the snobbish girls back in high school to whom I was a dirty slut. So far as they were concerned the word was synonymous with whore except I wasn't getting paid - at least in cash. Wow, it's amazing how one word can have so many interpretations.
As another example, what's "sex"? Oh sure the answer may seem obvious but I'm referring to what people mean when they say someone is having sex. My definition is pretty straightforward, a bit clinical, and so far as I'm concerned biblically correct. Simply put, sex is the penetration of a female vagina by a male penis... period. I suppose I should add, "regardless of the depth of penetration" as once the tip is in, may as well be all in so far as the act is concerned. Another way of putting it is, if you can't get pregnant as a result, it's not sex.
Despite come people's claims, I'm not all that naive so I'm well aware that many people use a much broader definition. Take the phrase "oral sex". I know what people mean by it, but it's not true "sex" even though many people would disagree with me. It's the same with "anal sex". I can't become pregnant if a guy cums in my ass so therefore it can't be real sex. Fondling, groping, etc... none of that is sex in my book but there are extremist who would claim otherwise.
The reason I point at the word "sex" with such narrow focus is it directly impacts the definitions and meanings of other words. Take incest for example. Incest is defined (at least in my dictionary) as having sex with someone directly related to you as in a parent, sibling or first cousin. Well, that means anything that does NOT involve a penis penetrating a vagina cannot be called incest. That's a critical distinction as it means that a young girl sucking her father's dick is not committing incest, she's simply sucking his dick.
Sex and incest merge when it comes to adultery. Adultery is when a married person has sex with someone that is not incestual sex. Hopefully now the definitions of sex and incest can be seen as being crucial to the debate over adultery. As a married woman I can blow all the men I want and it's not sex so it's not adultery. I can have sex with my uncle but since that would be incest it falls outside the lines of adultery.
One thing more about adultery. What I just described is all based on how my mother raised me and as such reflects HER morals and values. Now that I'm married my first duty is to submit to my husband. Please, no feminists as submission does NOT mean I'm his slave but rather that I AM his wife. As such since my wedding I've had to adapt my personal morals and ethics to a further restriction on what constitutes adultery - it isn't adultery if your spouse is OK with it. For me and Steve we agreed that this means we have each given blanket authorization so long as sooner or later we tell the other about it. So long as it's all up front and nothing is done behind the other's back, then we both agreed that this was OK for our marriage.
The Seven Month Itch
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So now a major part of our marriage, at least when it comes to sex, involves other people outside our marriage family. Steve and I swap regularly, enjoy family-style parties and have occasionally met with other people alone. The key to keeping our marriage successful has been nothing is ever hidden. Usually we are together, or at least in the same vicinity, when having sex with other people and those few times when we were apart we made sure the other was fully informed as soon as possible afterwards. If anything, I think the trust and pride we have in each other as expressed by such activities has strengthened our marriage more than anything else.
So given all that, why in the world would anyone want to do anything to jeopardize such a relationship?
It reminds me a fable where the frog carries the scorpion across the river and the scorpion stings the frog, causing them both to drown. The frog asked why the scorpion would do such a thing and the response was, "It's my nature."
So why would I want to go out and something I swore I would never do -commit adultery?
It's my nature.
For all my life, at least since I started having sex, I've never been satisfied by just plain old sex. I've always felt like there has to be something extra, some element of risk, something that would shock people, something that would allow people to see me a desirable sexual creature. Just look through my diary and this line of thinking should be obvious. After all, I was sucking boys' dicks in a movie theaters, getting fucked in a mall restroom, even doing it under the stage during an outdoor church service. Once I discovered the thrill of seduction and the ego-boosting results of driving a happily married man to commit adultery for the first time, it has since been one of my favorite "hobbies".
Other things I swore I would never do have turned out to be things I WOULD do with right motivation. It was easy to say I wouldn't when so many things were still new but as time goes by you start looking for even more riskier adventures and suddenly those "taboo" areas are no longer off-limits. When my husband informed me of his need to fuck other women my definition of adultery had to broaden to include men outside of my family.
