Amber
Amber Ray had resigned herself to a life of loneliness. Sometimes she wondered why she never had the urge to just end it. She had no friends and was mostly neglected at home. Sometimes her father called her, but that wasn't very frequently. What was the point, really? He had not paid much attention to her before he just decided to abandon them. It had been a year now.
Amber had just turned 18 and they had "celebrated" by going through Dairy Queen drive-through for an ice cream cone. Her twin brothers, Billy and Bobby, had insisted on getting a milkshake, but Amber had settled for the soft-serve ice cream. Her mother had complained about what it cost.
Kaley Ray, Amber's mother, was a beautiful woman. She was tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a good figure, with nice 32C breasts, and good legs. Men flirted with her everywhere she went, and she flirted back, but nothing came of it. She and her husband, Bart, were still married. He had just told her one day that he had had enough and had walked out. He sent her money, regularly, however, to help with the kids. She worked as a substitute teacher in the local primary schools, but didn't earn enough to support them.
The twins were identical and many people couldn't tell them apart. Bobby had a small birth mark, a red splotch the size of a dime, just behind his left ear. Some people would quickly look behind one or other of the twins' ears to identify them. Those closest to them, however, could immediately tell them apart in other, more subtle, ways. Amber nor Kaley ever had any trouble telling them apart, except at a distance or in dim light. The boys were a little over a year older than Amber. They were in their first year at the local community college. They were both tall and had blonde hair, like their mother, but had inherited their dad's dark brown eyes. They were trim, athletic, and very handsome.
Billy was more outgoing than Bobby and had dated many girls. He was known as a "player". Bobby had no trouble getting dates, either, but he was more serious-minded and didn't like the idea of just dating a girl because she was pretty or because he thought she might sleep with him. Both boys had had sex, but they had different outlooks on it. Billy saw it as recreation and liked to talk about how many girls he had "laid". Bobby didn't pressure girls to have sex with him unless he thought they had a connection and really liked each other. As a result, he had only gone all the way with two girls. He didn't talk about it with other boys, thinking that sex was a private matter and that it was nobody else's business.
Amber was very small. She was barely 5 feet tall and weighed around 90 pounds. She had never really had a teenage "growth spurt". As years went by she decided that it just wasn't going to happen. Her breasts were small -- she really didn't need a bra. She had blonde-red hair and brown eyes. Freckles covered her face. Her nose was a small, "turn-up" nose. People teased her, saying that it looked like a slide. She kept her hair down to her shoulders, but didn't wash it as often as most other girls. She considered herself unattractive and didn't see the point of spending a lot of time on her appearance. No boy had ever asked her out, or even engaged her in conversation -- unless they needed help with their math homework. She enjoyed math and had always had a natural knack for it.
To Kaley's credit, she worried about Amber. Kaley had always been attractive and had always had boyfriends when she was a girl. She had just taken her good looks for granted. Then she had married Bart when she became pregnant with the twins when she was a sophomore in college. Bart was a football player where she attended college, and she thought he was the most handsome guy she had ever met. She allowed him to get in her panties on their first date, thinking that if she gave it up to him that he would continue to date her. She became pregnant, Bart agreed to marry her, and the rest was history. The twins turned out to be very good looking and well-built, but Amber had always been small. Kaley certainly didn't think her daughter was ugly, by any stretch, but she wasn't that attractive, either. She was tiny, her hair wasn't particularly attractive, and she was covered in freckles. Kaley had suggested several things down through the years that might improve Amber's appearance, but Amber didn't seem to be interested. She was shy and withdrawn. She spent most of her time in her room with the door closed.
Amber was in her senior year of high school and had a chance of being in the top ten of her class. She was sure to get a scholarship that would pay most of her college expenses. She dreaded it. She didn't want to move away from home because it was the only place she felt comfortable. She longed for a boyfriend. There were several boys at school to whom she was very attracted, but they didn't give her the time of day unless they needed help with their math. She had never been kissed and, obviously, had never had sex. She sometimes accessed porn videos and watched them as she fingered herself to orgasm. She wondered what it would be like for a boy to do some of the things to her that she saw on those videos.
Amber was the only one in the family who attended church. Bobby would sometimes accompany her, but her mother hadn't been in years and Billy had never been interested. Amber liked to go to church and she enjoyed reading the Bible. She did feel a slight bit of guilt when she masturbated, but she knew that masturbation was natural and really couldn't see any great sin in watching other people fornicate. She thought that Christianity was way more profound than condemning people for wanting and needing and participating in sex. As far as she could tell from her own study, treating other people kindly and loving God were the really important things. She felt like she really did love God and she reasoned that he must have something in mind for her to do in life. She couldn't see it yet, but she trusted that God did.
Billy didn't get along with his little sister. He sometimes poked fun at her, not realizing, and not really caring, how badly it hurt her. Bobby wasn't really close with Amber, either, but he never said anything unkind to her and often berated his twin brother for insulting her. He worried about her because she was so isolated. He really had very little interest in going to church, but sometimes offered to go with her to try to break the ice between them. He could tell that she appreciated it, but she still didn't talk to him much. Sometimes she would ask him what he thought about something she had read in the Bible, but he usually didn't know what she was talking about.
One night Amber was downstairs watching a program on TV. Their mother was gone out with a friend. The show was over half over and she was interested in it. Her brother Billy walked in, grabbed the remote away from her, flopped down in an easy chair, and changed the channel.
"I wanted to see the end of that show, Billy," she said.
"So? I want to watch the ballgame," he retorted.
Just as he said that, Bobby walked into the room. "Billy, she was watching that show. See what the score is and let her watch the end of it."
"Fuck you. I don't care what that ugly little bitch wants. She's so retarded she doesn't know the difference."
Enraged, Bobby tackled his brother, overturning the chair in which he sat. The twins began to swing their fists at each other, both of them landing blows.
Amber got up and ran upstairs to her room, closed and locked the door, and lay on her bed and cried. What had she ever done to Billy to make him hate her? She was never unkind to him, and rarely even talked back to him when he insulted her. Why were people so mean to her? She knew that she was not attractive and didn't have an outgoing personality. She wasn't the cheerleader type. She wasn't an athlete. She couldn't draw or sing. But still, she was always as kind as she could be. She prayed that her heart would not become so calloused that she would not love other people and treat them kindly. She prayed for her brother, that he would learn not to hurt people. She thanked God for her brother, Bobby, who was nicer to her than most anyone else.
Presently, she heard a soft knock at her door. "Amber?" It was Bobby.
"Go away," she said softly, hoping he wouldn't realize that she was crying.
"Amber, come on. Open the door," he said gently.
Amber crossed the room and opened the door. Bobby was pressing a wash cloth against his mouth, and she could see that he was bleeding. "Bobby, you're hurt. Let me see," she said, as she reached to pull the wash cloth aside.
"I'm okay. I think I gave Billy a black eye. He busted my lip. You've been crying. I am so sorry," he told her. He reached around her and gave her a hug.
They never hugged. Amber jumped reflexively when he touched her, then realized that he was trying to be kind to her, so she allowed him to put one arm around her as he continued to hold the cloth to his bleeding lip. The hug was brief, but this small act of intimacy felt so wonderful to her that she burst out in tears again. She turned and sat on her bed, putting her face in her hands, weeping without restraint.
Bobby sat next to her. "I don't know what to say, Amber. He's mean. I love him and he's my best friend and twin brother and all that, but he's just mean. I could never say that kind of thing about anyone," he whispered. "And it's not true. You're not ugly and you're way smarter than either of us."
Uncharacteristically, Amber lay her head over on her brother's shoulder as she continued to sob. "Bobby, you're the only person who is nice to me."
Bobby felt tears stinging his own eyes. He swallowed, fighting back his emotion. "I love you, Amber. You're my sister."
