Taming My Ho-Ass Mom
Sometimes, Biggs wondered why he even bothered coming home. He could have stayed at the park, shooting the shit with the other nigguhs, or maybe playing b-ball if any of them happened to bring one. There wouldn't be no hos hanging around them either, because women knew better than to come by when the men were talking.
And he was a man, wasn't he? He was tall and strapping, with skin the color of dark chocolate. Even though he was only nineteen, Biggs had more character than most of the fools he hung out with. He was quiet usually, but he could step up and smack a fool down if that fool didn't watch his mouth. His motto was respect; you give it, and you'll get it. In no small words Biggs let it be known that he was a man, and a man didn't take any shit from anybody.
Except when it came to his mom, he thought. She was in her early forties, and she'd run wild in the streets for most of her life. She talked a hell o' shit, either on the phone or in person. Just a few minutes earlier, Biggs had walked into the apartment complex. Right there on the sidewalk, his mother was cussing up a storm and chewing up some dumb motherfucker she'd been dating. Biggs couldn't understand why that dumb ass didn't just walk away and go home. He just stood there and let his mom run him up and down like he wasn't nothing. Biggs grimaced and kept on stepping.
After about fifteen minutes, that dumb fool probably did walk off, because that's when his mom walked into the apartment. Biggs was gulping down a quick sandwich, with the plan to get the hell out as fast as he could. His mom came into the kitchen and went off on him anyway. Any other woman, Biggs would have slapped down, or maybe thrown his sandwich or the carton of orange juice at. Biggs didn't like being disrespected by anyone. He could barely tolerate it from his mother, but what else could he do but take it? It wasn't like he had enough money to get his own place yet, but he was working up to that.
She just had to go and get into his face. It was bad enough that Biggs left his glass of juice sitting on the counter and went around her while still munching up his sandwich. His mom followed him toward the front door. With a growing irritation, the young man hoped she wouldn't come out after him and keep yelling and make him look stupid in front of the whole neighborhood. If she did that... maybe he would slap her down if she did that. He wasn't going to let any fool watching say that Biggs had been a chump in front of anyone, not even his loud-ass mom.
Luckily for both of them, his mom just grumbled at him when she realized he was heading out again. She snatched up the remote and smashed down on its buttons like she hated it. A moment later the TV was on and playing too loud.
Once his mom had dropped on the couch, Biggs thought about going back into the kitchen for his juice, since he was chewing on a dry-ass sandwich with nothing to wash it down with. He considered it, anyway, until he figured his mom would get up and start her same old shit if he did. So he stepped out and kept on chewing his snack as best he could.
Biggs went out to the park, and he hung out with four other fools. Sometimes, there might be up to ten of them, hanging out and passing the time together. The cops would come by and watch them, on account of all them gang injunctions. But they didn't mess with Biggs and his boys unless they really had to.
While he was there, another homeboy came by with two girls. He told Biggs that one of the girls wanted to talk to him. Biggs knew who she was. He knew that she liked him, but Biggs didn't like that girl at all. She was always dressing up and showing off. The only reason she did that was to attract some dumb nigguh into hanging out with her, and buying her even more fancy shit to wear. Sure, Biggs took some flak from his homies when he refused to talk to this ho. He'd rather listen to some smack, though, than to get fleeced out of his cash. He didn't have any money to spare for this ho when he was trying to get together a deposit for his own place.
This girl came by the bench they were all sitting on, looking over each one of the homies like she was at a used car lot, and keeping her eyes on Biggs the longest. Biggs didn't bite; he never did. After a while, she sauntered off. The homies watched her ass for a bit, before they turned to him.
"Damn, Biggs, you can't just let that ass walk away from you like that." One of his homeboys scolded.
"You want her, you can have her." Biggs replied. "I ain't buying her shit, just so she can show it off to you knuckleheads next week."
"Damned straight." Another homie agreed with him. "That's my bracelet she's wearing. I paid a buck-fifty for it, too."
"That's 'cause you dumb, nigguh." One of the others said, which set them all laughing.
"Why don't you get it back?" Another fool asked. "Just take that shit off her!"
"Because if I do, she'll close them legs up real tight." The other explained. "As long as she's wearing my bracelet, I can walk up to her and flirt with her. She thinks she might get something else from me, while at the same time I'm trying to get into her pants. She might win sometimes and I might win other times. That's how you play the game, son."
Women always wanted something, Biggs understood, just like men always wanted something.
"I know you want to get your own place and all, Biggs. I still don't think you should let a piece of ass like that just walk on by with you not doing anything but staring at it."
"That ain't my kind of girl." Biggs admitted.
"Why not?"
"Because; think about it, all right? She'll be on my jock, yeah, but she'll be bugging me for this and that the whole time. When I run out of cash, she'll go sit on somebody else's jock. That bitch is like a puppy or something, always wagging its tail when it thinks you got something for it. Then goin' off to sniff somewhere else when it sees all you got is an empty hand. Like I said, that ain't my kind of girl."
"Then what is your kind?"
Biggs shrugged. "I don't know. A girl that don't show off like that, maybe."
"You know what your problem is? You think too damned much."
Biggs chuckled. "Yeah, well you don't think at all. If you want that ho, so she can pull all your money out of your pocket, I ain't stopping you. Next week you'll be coming back broke, like this fool that went and spent a buck-fifty for that bracelet."
"Yeah, I wish I had that buck-fifty right now." The other man mused. "I could get me some beer with it."
"Dumb ass." Biggs shook his head.