Amy,
You know how terrible I am at exercising self-control. You know I can't stop once I start. No one knows me better than you do; no one ever will...
But when it comes to this, I'm surprised at the self-control I'm presently exercising. I'm desperate and dying to bare my heart and soul to you, but boy my brain won't allow my mouth to speak the words my heart formed.
And when words keep piling on without an outlet to let them out it only gets painful. This is my outlet. Hopefully you don't find it; atleast for the time being.
So here's to luxuriating in the warmth which emanates from the said pain.
I love you Amy.
When I feel overwhelmed - and god knows I'm overwhelmed all the time - all I have to do is come in your vicinity. Just look in your eyes; just feel my aura overlap with yours (I know you aren't big on that sort of thing!); just have your arm around my shoulders, just have my hair ruffled by you; just listen to you; I mean it can be anything, just that it has to be you... and I find those overwhelming feelings, that nervousness, that anxiety just disappear. That's your magic Amy. You are my fountain of everlasting peace, serenity and tranquility.
You're passionate about what you do; whatever you do. The conviction and conscientiousness with which you do things is something I have, I do, and I always will look up to, and try my best to emulate. Yes at some point or the other, at the beginning of anything we do, we all feel a bit overwhelmed; me more so than the others. But then just thinking about you, I somehow find the strength to strip the unnecessary baggage, and I also find the strength to focus at the task at hand with devotion. My strength doesn't flow from the food I eat or the muscle or brain I have; Amy, my strength flows from you.
I never stood-up for myself; I still never do. Well why do I have to when my amazing big sister spoiled me so good! I still remember how you broke Rick's teeth when he punched me in the gut for not scoring those ten-odd runs in the final over. I still remember how you verbally thrashed Stephen, Randy and Pamela - the fuckwits from my office - for being condescending conceited pretentious shits. When I was little and shit scared of imaginary silouhettes in the dark - which at that time seemed pretty real - you were the one keeping those monsters at bay. And even when I've grown up, Amy, you still keep the monsters at bay. This time they are my inner demons, and believe me, no monster is scarier than these demons.
