An Apartment Story

Hello again dear readers, this one is a bit different from my two previous stories being a bit slower and more romantic than purely erotic. Hopefully, you guys don't mind waiting while I deal with school and recuperate from COVID.

A few warnings, I'm still very new when it comes to writing, English is my second language and I have dyslexia so it's not perfectly written, all characters in this story are over the age of 18 and consenting, I in no way encourage or condone incest in real life and simply write this as fantasy and fiction.

An apartment story

I was trying my best to fix the place before Tommy arrived, my busy schedule keeping me from taking good care of the apartment much less my mental health. I always looked forward to seeing my little brother, he was one of the few good things in my life that didn't make me feel worse or uncomfortable with my life decisions.

Despite our age difference we were still close, he had just turned 19 and would soon start college. He had to deal with a lot of shit in his life, more than any kid like him deserved. Between our shitty parents, bad experiences, his love of sports and his dedication to school he was far more mature and strong-natured than most people his age, hell, he was smarter than most people my age.

I had just graduated college with a degree that I never wanted to take in the first place and had just started a new job in a field that I hated. The people that I worked with had little patience to help the newbie girl that was now at the bottom of the totem pole, and all I was allowed to do was to suck it up and deal with it. Most of my friends were gone, I was alone and stuck in a place in my life I never wanted to be in.

Still, I didn't have it too bad considering, I mean, not only did I have a job, I had just recently moved into a new apartment which gave me the private space I needed. It was good to have more time away from my parents, space for myself to work and find some kind of solace. The best part about it though, it was close enough so that my brother could visit regularly and spend time with me.

I was in the final stages of cleaning the living room when he arrived, work papers and cleaning utensils still spread around the room. He didn't seem to mind of course and seeing the mess around us he offered to help me finish.

"Oh no don't worry," I said, "I'll take care of this."

"It's ok, Lindsay I want to help you," he said, starting to organize all the crap in the room as I picked up my papers.

"You excited for college? You have everything ready?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I guess I'm ready. Still just waiting for them to call me," he answered as I noticed something in his voice like worry or nerves.

I suspected that he was more nervous than he was allowed to show at the house, mom and dad were the least understanding people I knew and their answers for most of our problems had been "just deal with it!" or to just shut up with little else to help us out. He would never express himself honestly as that hardly ever did anything with them. We always had to rely on each other when mom and dad couldn't do that for us, and we always knew we could trust the other person.

"You know you can be honest with me, right? I'm not going to judge you for every little thing you do or say like dad does." I told him reassuringly.

"Yeah, I know," he said, shooting a smile towards me that made me feel warm inside. "It's just a big change you know? Suddenly feel like I got shot into being a grown-up and I'm not sure I'm ready yet."

"That's normal," I told him "We all feel that way for most of our lives, never having the confidence to be who we really want to be. Most people just pretend like they have all the answers when they're just faking it."

I spoke as if I had some kind of great wisdom to impart to him when I barely had any kind of grasp over my own life or the issues that plagued me. I was still just as much of a mess as any other fuck up, I just pretended like my life was happy, still, I was hoping to give any kind of advice for Tommy that would make him feel better, or at the very least the kind of advice I desperately needed when I was his age.

"Guess I'm just going to have to make it up as I go along huh?" he said.

"I don't think so," I told him "Most people have to pretend because they're stupid and immature like me, you, on the other hand, are smart enough to get a hand of it."

"I wish that was true," he said insecurely.

"I know it is," I said hugging him from behind and kissing his cheek.

I was a bit surprised to see him so worried like this, he always seemed like the little genius he was. Handsome, smart and strong yet always lacking the confidence he needed to show that. He was everything that I couldn't be at that stage in life and all I hoped is that he wouldn't make the same mistakes as I had.

"Come on, I'm inviting you for dinner," I told him.

"Ok but I won't let you pay for me again," he said.

"Shush, your money is no good to me."

We ate out and chatted for most of the afternoon at the park, his thoughts about starting college, the most recent disputes between mom and dad, the newest movies we were interested in seeing, work. By the time we finished and came back to the apartment, it was starting to get dark, and Tommy didn't like to take up too much of my time despite the fact that being around him was exactly the thing I needed most.

"Why don't you stay the night?" I asked him. "We don't have work tomorrow so it's not like it would be an issue,"

"I don't want to bother you," he said.

"You don't bother me at all dummy," I responded, "besides I still have those clothes you left from the last time remember?"

"Ah shit, that's right, sorry about that again. Well, if you're sure it's not a problem then fine," he said blushing.

I thought a lot about him moving in with me, it was the most obvious thing really, he would be able to get out of the house, he would be closer to university, both of us would be happy; so then why was it so hard for me to ask him? Why was I so scared to just tell him? It was stupid, but for some reason, it made me afraid like somehow, I would screw up things like I normally do.

"You been seeing anyone?" I asked him, not wanting to hear an answer but feeling like I still had to ask.

"Not really, the transition into college is a bit too hectic for me to worry about that right now" he answered, as I tried to contain my smile.

"Hey, I can see that! Don't be so happy about my loneliness." He teased.

"Oh come on Tommy, I can't help it if I'm a jealous sister. I just want to make sure you don't end up with anyone crazy or toxic." I told him.

"Like you?" he said.

"Like me exactly," I followed.

My dating life had been just as much of a garbage pile as the other aspects of my life, mostly asshole jocks, cheating morons and a few manipulative monsters. There were moments I was seriously hurt and depressed thanks to those people and if it wasn't for Tommy's help, I'm not sure how I would have coped.

"Well, don't worry. I learned from your mistakes, so I'll make sure to avoid that sort of people," he told me.

"Good, you better," I said to him.

It was now late in the evening, we had just finished watching an old Marx brothers' film, our favorite. I was cuddling with him which had become a normal part of our nights together for some time now. He had his hand around me, my head on his shoulders and I was about to fall asleep.

"You going to be ok there? Or am I gonna have to take you to bed myself?" he asked.

For as alluring as the offer was to me, I had to say no and finally stand up. I went to get the bed ready while he took a bath before we got the final snack of the evening. We used the time together now to talk a bit more.

"And you're sure you can't do anything to like, change departments? If you are so unhappy with your job, you should be able to do something," he told me.

"I probably should, I'm just afraid of changing around the office like that," I said. "It's not like it's the worst job in the world really, just hard to adjust to an environment that isn't very conducive to being open or helpful for the newer employees."

I continued "Honestly, I think I can get a handle of it you know? Maybe make a living there while I pursue other things as hobbies on the side. Transferring to a new department might be the right thing to do but it would be a huge hassle with my boss. I just have to... deal with it,"

"Sounds like something dad would say," he told me.

"I know, it sucks but it's true." I followed.

"Well, I honestly can't recommend you leave your job right now. Just following your dreams is not as simple as they make it out to be, sometimes you must be patient and work hard till you can get the leeway you need." He said.

"Listen to the wise old master here, like you've lived 100 years and kept all your knowledge." I teased him.

"Ok, I'll admit I'm mostly just pulling this out of my ass but seriously, you gotta find a way to be happy even in the worst circumstances, right? And if there's anything I can do to help with that, then I'll always be there for you," he assured me.

He was always the person I needed most, the one who always knew what to say to me and who could always make me feel better. I was happy he could spend time here with me and I knew I would need him in the future.

"Come on," I said to him. "Let's go to sleep."

We laid in bed, him with his eyes closed while I stared at the amazing brother and friend I had. I put my hand on his chest and got closer, sensing me he immediately wrapped himself around my body and we held each other tight.

"You know what I've been thinking?" I asked him.

"What?" he replied.

"You should move in with me, it makes sense, you'd be..."

"Yes," he interrupted me, "I think I'd like that actually,"

I released a few tears of joy as we continued to cuddle, feeling more secure than I've ever been in my life.

We went out walking around the plaza, looking at some of the things Tommy was going to need once he moved into the apartment.

"Well, I already have a toothbrush, don't really need new clothes, moving the bed is going to be complicated." He said to me as I mostly just enjoyed spending time with him.

"We'll manage," I told him

I didn't realize that I was at this point holding on to him closely, in a very not sisterly way. After some time, I let go of him not wanting to make Tommy feel uncomfortable even if it made me feel better. As we sat down at a café, we began to go over the process of him moving in.

"You know, I kinda said that last night without thinking hard about it. Maybe we're rushing into this?" he asked me as I felt a pit of disappointment in my stomach.

"I just don't want to screw up anything if you're more used to living alone" he continued.

"Tommy," I said, "living with you is probably the best thing that can happen to me since I moved out," I assured him.

"Really?" he asked.

"You have no idea," I told him, "I've been dealing with a lot recently. Between my last boyfriend, moving out, the job and all those assholes there, I've had to deal with a bunch of crap and it's been hard. I need someone there to support me, someone to help me out emotionally"

"I just need to be sure I won't make it worse for you," he told me.

"Of course not," I said putting my hand over his. "You could never do that,"

"Not to you," he said promising so.

We kept walking thru the plaza for while longer, this time staying near him like before but no longer worried that I would make him uncomfortable.

After returning home we checked how we would move the furniture around and adjust the apartment for him, I will talk to my landlord in the morning and we'll make sure everything my brother needed would be here.

It was starting to get late as me and Tommy kept talking about how excited we both were, having him around was a dream come true for me and he was just as happy.

"I honestly can't wait, hopefully we'll be able to get everything here quickly," he told me.

"Then don't, you can sleep here while we get everything ready," I said.

"I like the idea actually, what do you think mom and dad will say?" he asked me.

"Probably something passive-aggressive about how we are just screwing up our lives and how we are stupid," I told him.

"So the usual then," he snickered.

We sat in the bed for some time in silence, just staring at nothing before Tommy broke the awkwardness.

"Moving the bed is going to be complicated," he said.

"I was doing my best to ignore that," I told him.

Putting my own bed inside was hard enough, can't even remember how I managed it at the time. Taking it up the apartment itself was a pain, I remember that.

"We'll find a way," I said.

"You keep saying that, but we should think ahead a bit," he told me.

"I know, it's just that I'm very happy about all this and I don't want to worry myself about the little details. I just want things to go smoothly"

"I don't think that's how it works," he said "the little details are going to keep grinding at you no matter what you do, I think its more about preparing for them."

"Sounds good but, I'm not sure I can do that for too long before I start breaking down," I said with desperation.

"Maybe with some help," he told me, as he held my hand.

Staring at each other's eyes, time froze, the world disappeared, and we were completely alone. I was staring at the smartest, most wonderful boy I knew, and he made all of my problems go away. He promised to make things better, promised to be there for me, with me, and he made me feel happy. He was the only thing that made sense to me, and all I wanted was to be closer, being next to him, feel him and touch him.

I realized I was just a few inches from him now, very little separating us, breaking eye contact I saw his face filled with a spectrum of emotions. Fear, telling himself to stay away. I could tell he considered it. but I also saw him get closer, closing his eyes and putting his lips to mine.

The kiss felt like I'd never been kissed before, like all other acts of romance I had experienced were just worthless pieces of practice for this one moment, all leading up to this. I surrender myself to the moment kissing and holding Tommy in my arms as he held me as well.

This kiss, this experience of ecstasy that engulfed us both tying and bonding us into each other, all our past had changed, our future uncertain, but our present now a single unforgettable moment that made all the hardships and worries of my life disappear.

Our trance was broken when our kiss ended, waking from the dream I was suddenly invaded by a feeling of guilt and fear at the possibility that I had destroyed my relationship with my brother, something I could tell he feared as well.

"Lindsay I..." he didn't seem to have the words.

"I'm sorry," I said with tears in my eyes. "That was stupid, I shouldn't have..."

"No, I'm sorry, it's my fault." he stood from the bed and moved away.

"I think it would be better if I slept at mom and dad's house tonight, I'll talk to you tomorrow," he said, without even looking at me, instead staring at the floor the entire time.

I couldn't say another word to him before he left, I was now alone in my room, alone without my best friend, left with nothing but self-hatred, confusion, and fear for what just happened. I was more alone than I had ever been in my life and I no longer had anyone to share my thoughts or pain, no one to help me heal and cope. I had damaged the only happy relationship in my life and now all that was left for me to do was to suffer the consequences.

I spent most of my time inside my apartment, I would go to work and do my best to tolerate my coworkers, bosses and clients before going home and just shut myself in trying not to think about anything.

I pretended like there was nothing wrong in front of others while doing my best to avoid thinking about the kiss with Tommy. I hoped it would be easier to do that than to confront my real feelings, but ultimately, it just made it worse.

I remained in my state of misery until I heard the phone ring, hoping and fearing to see Tommy's name in it, it wasn't, it was my mother's name.

"Hey mom," I said, answering the phone.

"Jesus Lindsay, are you still in bed? Have you even cleaned that mess you call an apartment yet?" she said, condescendingly.

"I'm fine mom thanks, how are you?" I responded sardonically.

"Don't take that tone with me young lady,"

She was calling about Tommy and whether he would move in not after all. At that moment I was too confused to even think about it or him.

"Well, I'm not sure yet mom, we talked about it but..." I tried to figure out what to say to her.

"He made such a fuss about it before, and now you're going to tell him no? you know, he was really excited about it, and it seemed like that was all he could think of," she told me, making me feel even worse.

"I don't think it would be right to just turn him away. If you couldn't let him live with you in the first place why even invite him?"

"Mom," I said impulsively "has Tommy said anything?"

"About what?" she asked.

"Just, how has he been? I haven't seen him in a while and I just want to make sure he's alright"

"You always were a bad influence on him, teaching him how to be irresponsible instead of listening to us," she said, making me even angrier.

"Mom please," I said, trying to maintain my composure.

"He hasn't said a thing to us, it's like he doesn't even want to talk to us anymore. Did you tell him any lies again?"

And with that, I was done. Turning off the phone and going back to my place of misery in bed, finding any reason to get out and fix my life and do something, anything to mend things with Tommy. I would do anything to see him again, to make things better. Not like they were before but, something new, something better than before.

I heard a knock on the door, the first sound in my apartment that broke my depressing trance, I fought hard to get the necessary energy, and once obtained I walked to the door. I was too emotional to truly put my mind to whoever was behind the door and I simply asked who it was behind it half expecting to be answered by silence and walk back to my bed.

"It's me Lindsay, can I come in?" his familiar voice shaking something inside my body.

I opened the door not knowing how to react or what to do once I saw Tommy again, the easiest thing was for me to just ignore what had happened.

"Hey Tommy, how have you been?" I said to him.

"Fine thanks, and you?" he said, almost as if he was speaking to a stranger.

"Come in" was all I could say to him then.

Now with the both of us habituating the main room of my apartment, we waited for the other person to speak first and break the ice. My thoughts raced about every possible subject matter except the kiss hoping we could just put that moment away and forget about it, Tommy however, didn't let that happen.

"I should apologize, that was an incredibly stupid thing for me to do and I know it was inappropriate. I just don't want you to think anything wrong of me," he told me struggling through his words.

"Apologize for what?" I asked confusingly.

"You know... the kiss, from the other night... I'm sorry."

I was now confused, I didn't understand why he should apologize to me, wasn't I the one who had initiated and made him do it? was that what really happened?

"Oh, that's..." I tried to figure out what to say.

"You don't have to say anything, I screwed up, I made you feel uncomfortable and I... just... I should leave," he said, moving towards the door.

"No don't!" I grabbed him by his hand. "Please don't go, I want you to stay here, I need you to be here with me,"