Chapter 02: Elisabeth
The following is the second scene in the Awakening series. A reader may possibly prefer to read An Awakening (Angelique) to gain an idea of previous occurrences relevant to this particular piece. Thanks to Selena for her work on this. Any errors that remain are entirely mine.
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Elisabeth moved from the window on trembling legs and sat at the edge of her bed. Her heart hammered within her chest, a low thumping in her ears. What had she just done? Whatever had possessed her? It was such a surprise, no, more than that; it was a shock to see her son, Lawrence, looking up at her after she'd drawn back the drapes. Elisabeth's first thought was that it had been the young gardener, Joseph, standing below and looking up at her; then she saw that the young, blonde Adonis was her own flesh and blood. Elisabeth knew she could have closed the curtains or even moved away from the window, but something had stopped her, she had been compelled to remain where she was. The sight of Lawrence's strong, defined upper body, with his lean-muscled arms and broad chest had stirred her deep in her belly. The fact that the young man staring up at her nudity was her son had no impact upon Elisabeth's consciousness at all. She concentrated her attention on how striking he looked with the light sheen of perspiration from his exertions oiling his muscles. Just for an instant, Elisabeth ached for the physical presence of a man so intensely that she lost control and blatantly flaunted herself at the figure below her window. Now, however, she was mortified. What had she done? What would the boy be thinking? Had she actually stood like that for him? Had she exhibited herself to her own son?
Elisabeth thought of her actions. She felt warmth in her face, but she wasn't sure it was entirely due to embarrassment. There was something more. Her son had witnessed her nudity, and that would be difficult enough to deal with of course. It could possibly have been a subject that neither would ever make any reference to, and it could have remained untouched between them for as long as they lived, but she had taken the whole issue to a higher level - and it had excited her. So what now? Would they ever speak of this event?
Although Elisabeth understood that the flush on her cheeks was more than embarrassment, her morality denied it all, and her tummy flipped with angst, causing her to groan with the mortification. Why? Why had she... exhibited herself?
'You stupid, stupid woman,' she whispered aloud. 'Your son, how could you?'
Nevertheless, as Elisabeth crawled back into her large bed, she felt the insidious pull of that excitement. A puff of air passed her lips when she let her middle finger slide through the slippery lips of her sex. Despite her feelings of shame that had begun to wane in the light of a stronger yearning, there was no denying that the sight of her son's well-defined, muscular torso had aroused her. He was maturing. She missed him when he was away from home, but perhaps the real reason for that was that she had been without a man for a long time, and her son's half-naked body had roused a dormant desire deep from within.
She had her many admirers; she was still a very attractive woman and could have had any number of men between her thighs, younger or older. But it was simply that she didn't find any of them to her particular liking, or taste. There was also no more time to think of why...
'Oh, oh,' Elisabeth grunted quietly as her climax broke. Her whole body was suffused with glowing, the epicentre deep within. As soon as she had calmed, the guilt and shame crashed over her like a wave. 'My god,' she murmured. 'Am I depraved? That was so, so wrong.'
Elisabeth then made a solemn vow to herself that she would never do such a thing again. She would never again think of her beautiful son in a sexual way. She had no inkling at that moment at how difficult it would be to keep that secret promise. She had no way of knowing what chain of events her spontaneous action would trigger. It would have been beyond her sensibilities to conceive of what was to take place between her son and her daughter that very afternoon; an event she was, at least in part, responsible for.
When Lawrence arrived home later that evening, he resembled a victim of shell shock from the Great War. His face was devoid of expression. His eyes were distant, as though he was studying something unseen by anyone else. He seemed terribly distracted and responded only vaguely to questions. He was jumpy and restless one moment, pacing and wringing his hands in another before sinking into a stillness so complete it was difficult to garner his attention again. Elisabeth's immediate concern was that it had been her display that morning that had upset her handsome son. What she couldn't know was that Lawrence held a far, far darker secret in his bosom, and at that moment no amount of motherly probing could elicit a response from him.
'Lawrence, dear, what is it? Whatever's the matter?' Elisabeth asked quietly when she eventually dared to visit him in his bedroom. 'Please, darling, please tell me what's wrong.'
Lawrence turned his head to look obliquely at his mother who was standing next to him, her hand on his shoulder, her face etched with concern.
'Yes?' he responded with a glazed look in his eyes, as though he wasn't entirely certain who she was. 'I'm sorry, Mother, what were you asking?'
'What's the matter, dear? You seem so... so...?'
It took him a moment to respond, as if only half his being had been listening. 'So?'
She wouldn't approach. 'So distant, dear.'
'I'm fine, Mother,' he whispered barely loud enough for her to hear, staring blankly at the wall again.
He was not fine, but Elisabeth could not get through to him, reluctantly leaving her son to his distractions. Not daring to broach the subject of her exhibitionism, Elisabeth also felt powerless to continue.