An Interview with Alice, a.k.a. the Princess of All Things Sweet
Interviewer:
Well, hello again sports fans. Lovely to see you all today. If you’re looking forward to another revealing interview with the characters of Party of Five, then you’re in luck. And today we have with us the porcelain beauty Alice, who, it has to be said, is just the most adorable thing I have ever laid eyes on.
Alice previously expressed a great deal of reluctance when asked if she would like to be interviewed, but her brother Josh stepped in to persuade her, and he’s actually here now, attempting to reassure her. They can’t hear what I’m saying, by the way, nor can I hear them, but it looks as though it’s a private moment anyway. If anyone’s curious, Josh is holding Alice’s hands and trying to coax her into the chair opposite me, but Alice is remaining firmly in place on the other side of the room and eyeing said chair with a large amount of fear. Perhaps we should just wait for a while.
[3 minutes later] We’re back folks, and Alice has kindly agreed to answer some questions for us, despite the fact that she had some reservations earlier. How are you, Alice?
Alice:
Good, thank you.
Interviewer:
Are you sure you’re comfortable with this interview? It’s an entirely optional thing.
Alice:
It’s fine.
Interviewer:
Just shy?
Alice:
[smiling weakly] A little bit.
Interviewer:
Well, we’ll start nice and simple, okay?
Alice:
[nodding]
Interviewer:
Now,
CheatMan
is curious to know how you would feel about Josh telling his other sisters about the relationship he has with you. Are you dreading this revelation, or do you think it would be best in the long run?
Alice:
Um...
Interviewer:
If you’re uncomfortable with answering the question, just say pass.
Alice:
No, that’s okay – I’ll answer it. I guess I’m a bit worried about Jacquie finding out, because I know Dawn already knows about Jacquie, but I also trust Josh’s judgement and I know he’ll do what’s best for everyone. And I don’t think Jacquie could ever hold a serious grudge against Josh.
Interviewer:
If it came down to it, which sister would you rather found out first?
Alice:
Um ... I don’t know. Josh doesn’t really tell me much about his relationships with the other two – which is a good thing, I think – so I don’t know how they’d take it. I don’t think Dawn would mind much if Josh asked her to stop, but Jacquie’s always been attached to him and she might have become possessive. I guess I’d rather Jacquie though, because I know she’d be hurt if she was left out of the loop. Dawn wouldn’t care.
Interviewer:
Okay, well next we have a question from
CheatMan
, who wants to know how you would react if your sisters once again insist that Josh has a crush on you, now that you’re intimately involved with him.
Alice:
[giggles] Um ... I think I’d deny it again, but I’d probably turn bright red as I did. I’m a terrible liar, which I’m sure Jacquie and Dawn know.
Interviewer:
Next up is a question from
Ryno506
, who is curious to know whether anything happened between you and your study buddy Marty.
Alice:
What do you mean ‘happened’?
Interviewer:
Well, were there any romantic developments?
Alice:
No, of course not. I don’t have those kinds of feelings for Marty. We were just working together.
Interviewer:
Okay. Also, you expressed a great amount of tolerance when it comes to Josh’s other ... extracurricular activities; would you be as tempted to continue your relationship with Josh if you found someone else?
Alice:
Um... I don’t really think I’ll find someone else.
Interviewer:
Why is that?
Alice:
[shrugs] I don’t meet many nice guys.
Interviewer:
But supposing you did...
Josh: I’d definitely stop what I was doing with Josh, and I know he’d want the same thing. I love him with all my heart, but I can’t be with him in that way.
Interviewer:
Because you don’t want to or—
Alice:
No, no – it’s not that. It’s just an unrealistic goal.
Interviewer:
But if Josh wasn’t your brother...?
Alice:
That would be worse. But I can’t even think about him like that. He’s my brother first of all, before anything else, and that’s why I love him. I’m intimate with him because ... well, I don’t get to do that very often and it’s nice to do it with Josh.
Interviewer:
Well said. Our next question is from
Ryno506
, who asks: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?
Alice:
Um ... I guess I’d like to be more confident around people. [smiles]
Interviewer:
Are you aware that your timidity is one of the most salient components in Josh’s affection towards you?
Alice:
It is? I don’t know why. I guess I’m more confident around Josh and the family, though, so maybe it’s not as bad.
Interviewer:
Now,
hotstuff112
wants to know if you what you talk to your sisters about, and whether or not Josh comes up in conversation.
Alice:
Um ... we just talk about regular stuff. And sometimes we talk about Josh, but not in
that
regard. Dawn just usually insults him and Jacquie might mention him once or twice, but it’s all sisterly.
Interviewer:
And also from
hotstuff112
: What other sexual encounters have you had, and how did your first time come about?
Alice:
I thought they new that.
Interviewer:
Yes, I think it
was
mentioned in the story, but perhaps a refresher is in order. Would you like me to answer this one?
Alice:
No, that’s fine. Um ... apart from Josh, I’ve only slept with one person, and that was a boy who I was friends with. He was the first, and the only – before Josh – but he moved away and I haven’t seen him for years.
Interviewer:
Are you hoping for a reunion?