To a mother contemplating incest with her grown son.
Dear 'Jocasta',
Of all the incest that does happen, and incest does certainly happen, sex between a mother and son happens the least often. One can speculate on the reasons that the relations between family members happen and the incidences might be isolated occasions or more long term. There are most certainly bad cases of abuse, easily recognized; yet in some cases it might have been in some way purely beneficial. But as this activity is so associated with the more commonly bad, the uncommon good (or even the more likely neutral) consequences of family liaisons are suppressed.
Modern psychologists know that all little boys go through an "Oedipal Stage" where they are jealous of their mother's affections, but is not necessarily directly a sexual focus or even overt physically. There are indications that unsuccessful completion of this stage of natural childhood development results in the condition called by the term "Oedipus Complex". The clinical definition is easily looked up, but is a form of fixation on the maternal love or Mother herself.
The concern seems to be if the Complex hinders the relationship with other women. This is especially an important factor for the ultimate independence of the youth, to say nothing of what most mother's dream of - grandchildren. Most of the males do manage to cut the apron-strings and mate and produce offspring and life goes on as usual.
But sometimes later in life, for various reasons, (and I imagine some are more common reasons than others in the normal spread of human variation) some men develop a sexual desire for maternal love or their Mother herself. While having a perfectly "normal life" sexually, into their mix of what turns them on is this kind of Oedipal fetish, which mostly is lived out in fantasy, with the Mother figure, either symbolically or personal.
Here is a condition where sons are mature, independent, not innocent, and able to make moral and responsible decisions for themselves. They tend to have a great deal of respect for their mothers and would never impose their fantasy on her, knowing that she would never even consider it. Yet while anyone can think of many obvious reasons that a Mom might not be of a mind to make love with her son, yet there may still be some mothers, for whatever reasons, that might be open to such a union.
Then if these conditions exist together, a lusting son, an open Mom; sometimes the signals might be given visually, or discovered accidentally, or they are put into intimacy incidentally; and this leads to incest. Is this a bad thing, a neutral thing, or something beneficial? Of course it could be several of those things together, as life is complex. But if some of the obvious things are not standing as impediments such as fathers, husbands, wives, possibility of pregnancy, etc.; then there might be less of reluctance, and a lot more connecting.
Connecting in this way sexually, as well as other levels of love that exist already between the two, mother and son, is another way to express the love that is bonding them. The best definition of what this kind of love - this sort of incest - is this from someone called Jane, "incest is to an attempt to transfer [at least in one's imagination) the sweet physical joy into an already existing strong psychological bond which is essentially unselfish, affectionate and permanent."
While of course that is the ideal, reality is seldom as neat, love is messy. As the French say, 'is that not so?'. You have been given a great gift. What if you had never learned of your son's desire? You as a mother are happy when your son gets something he wants, and are happy to provide if you are able. Just as any loving parent does. You have the knowledge of his interest. Would you rather to not have known, now that you do know?
Now that you do know, the idea is to you yourself exciting. It seems naughty, yet it might not be, (or at least not so much) if all the circumstances are weighed and considered. (On the other hand, the naughtiness might be a turn on?) Most importantly to be asked, could anyone get hurt? If that is a risk, then that is cause for pause. No one suggests having relations where relationships are damaged. That being said, the idea
is
a turn-on, and you can see him responding to your more alluring attire.
What next? How far to go? What way to test the waters? What if you could, what if you both did, what if it happened? What do you base your decisions on, how do you balance influences, what authority speaks to your heart's delight and your soul's comfort and your body's yearning? This is your quest, your question, your inquiry. Is it not? It is not untypical of other romantic dilemmas either.
I can assure you that there are some who have had good experiences with their sons. I am, in fact editing a true story written by a son with his mother's input, about their long and happy affair. This was in an upper-class family too. So others have gone where angels fear to tread and found the footing fine and carpet quite comfortable, in fact. You have a better handle on how slippery things might be for the two of you.
But if you would give your son his heart's desire,
if it were in your power, and
