Jenny was more than a bit nervous. She was, in fact, scared silly.
Not that she really had reason to be scared, her husband would not hit her.
However he would have a fit when Jenny told him that her sister Mary had shown up at the front door in dire need of a place to stay for a while.
Mary and Mike did NOT get along at all. Mary tended to be catty, and Mike got sarcastic, which was unlike his normal easygoing self.
But Mary was her sister, and Jenny just couldn't turn her away.
Mike would grumble for a while, but it would all blow over. She hoped...
Mary came prancing into the living room and plopped down on the sofa. "Hey sis! When's the old fart getting home?"
Jenny sighed, Mary was always ragging on her because she had married 35 year old Mike, when she was just 18. "MIKE," She stressed his name, "Will be home soon enough. And I wish you would lay off him, He is a wonderful husband and I love him."
"Never did see what you saw in that old goat." Mary sneered. "You had a bunch of the cutest guys in high school panting over you, then you wasted yourself on Mr. Senility a week after graduation."
Jenny shook her head at her sister. Mary was just barely 19. She had been 14 when Jenny and Mike got married and moved away.
"Mike makes a good living, we have this nice house, we have 3 cars, and I always have spending money. Besides," Jenny grinned at her sister, "Mike has the experience and stamina to be a fantastic lover."
As always, any mention of Jenny and Mike having sex caused Mary to make a face. "Ugh, I don't even want to think about it!" said Mary.
Just then, Jenny heard a car pulling up in the driveway out front. She turned to the front door, feeling a cold hard lump settle in her belly.
Mary sprawled on the couch in her cutoffs and t-shirt, her bare feet up on the cushions. She was watching with considerable interest and amusement.
Mike opened the door and stepped in. He put his briefcase on the hall table and headed for the living room. He was in such a good mood that he didn't notice the look on Jenny's face as he swept her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Jenny couldn't help responding to her husband's passion. He had always been able to turn her on with a look or a kiss.
Mike came up for air and gazed into Jenny's eyes. "Guess what my love, I got another raise and a sizeable bonus! We can go to the Bahamas this summer!"
"Ummm, sweetheart?" Jenny began.
"You don't like the Bahamas? How about Tahiti? Hawaii?"
Jenny glanced to the left with her eyes.
Mike looked up and saw his least favorite sister-in-law stretched out on the couch. "Oh crap." he muttered without moving his lips in a voice only Jenny could hear. Jenny suppressed a snicker. Mike had always been able to make her laugh with his ventriloquist act.
"Hi Mary." Mike said in a normal tone of voice.
Irritated at not getting the reaction she had hoped for, Mary got sassy. "'Bout time you got home. What happened, ya get senile and forgot what street your house was on?"
"I may be senile," Mike retorted, "but I can still turn you over my knee and spank some of that sass out of you."
Mary turned to Jenny indignantly. "Are you going to let him talk to your own sister that way?" she demanded.
"Hell, I'll give you some wallops myself! What do you mean starting shit right off the bat when he gets home?" Answered Jenny. She was well and truly pissed.
Mary sat up on the couch and tucked her feet under her. "You always take his side." She pouted at her sister.
Jenny just rolled her eyes at Mike.
Mike winked at Jenny.
"Hey, get this fat broad offa me!" said a voice that seemed to come from the couch.
Mary leaped to her feet. "Who said that?"
"I did ya great fat cow," replied the voice from the couch. " I am NOT fat!" screeched Mary.
"Looks like ya are from down here when ya plant that yard wide ass on my face." replied the unseen voice.
Jenny could not hold back the laughter anymore and she slid down the doorframe to sit on the floor giggling like a kid watching cartoons.
Mary turned on Jenny furiously. "What the hell are you laughing at you, you, HYENA?"
Jenny only laughed harder. Mary glared at her. "Even the furniture is mouthing off to me!" she declared. "DO SOMETHING!"
"Will ya lissen to this broad?" came a voice seemingly from the floor lamp next to the couch.
"Yeah," said the fireplace, "she's gone around the bend thinking that inanimate objects are insulting her."
By this time, Jenny was on the floor laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
Mary glared at her sister and at Mike. Mike stood there looking innocent.
Mary went over and dropped into a recliner. "Oof! How many tons do ya weigh ya damn hippo?" came the voice from the chair.
About then, the coin dropped.
Mary uncoiled from the recliner like a tiger. "You!" She pointed at Mike, "You are the one doing all this!"
"Yup" answered Mike smugly.