"Well, I hesitate to say I'm a seducer, since you're the one in charge."
"Uh huh."
"But if I were to lay it out, I'd say, first, you're cute as a button. You're this completely hot Asian stereotype."
"That's kinda demeaning, Mr. C."
"You're earnest. Small breasts, low body fat. What instrument do you play?"
"Why do I necessarily play an instrument?"
"You're smart, you're Asian, your parents were pushy, you play an instrument. Violin?"
"You're an asshole. Why did you say violin?"
"It's the uber instrument, in my humble opinion. Incredibly subtle, as are you, and technically difficult. I also love the piano, but anyone can make a lovely sound on a piano. Just hit one key. But a violin? Not so. Also because you have the tell-tale reddish irritation under your left chin. You have a violinist's chin."
"You mean I have a rash."
"I see it as a welcoming target."
"What?"
"It's where I'll first kiss you."
"You're good at this game."
"And I also know that you masturbate with your right hand."
"What?"
****
"David, why am I reading a transcript of your date with an 18 year old?"
"It wasn't really a date, doctor. But I thought you might like primary source material so that we could really get at my conflicts."
"I'm not seeing conflicts."
"Read on."
****
"Is it true? Do you masturbate with your right hand?"
"That's personal. And who says I masturbate? And why wouldn't I masturbate with both hands?"
"The violinist irritation is under your left chin, so you're right-handed. I guess you could masturbate with both hands, but I'd guess the fingers of the left hand are probably busy with the occasional nipple tweak."
"You do know that violins are all constructed the same way, right? Everybody tucks the violin under their left chin. It's possible to reverse everything on a violin, but I've never seen it."
"I didn't know that."
"Which is why it's harder, or at least different, to play as a lefty."
"Wow. I love to be shown up. It really is one of my favorite things. I never played an instrument, incidentally. Just appreciated from afar. Wow, that totally gets me hard, being wrong."
"You must get hard a lot."
"I do, but I get hard for other reasons besides being wrong."
"You're freakier than I thought you'd be."
"And you're funnier than I thought you'd be."
"But I like freaky."
"And I like funny."
"Looking?"
"Did you bring it?"
"My inner freak or my sense of humor?"
"The violin."
"No."
"Yes, you did. You're here for weeks. Violinists don't miss practice for weeks at a time. There's nothing more seductive, to me, than a craftsman practicing her craft."
"Uh huh. Maybe if it's some young Asian stereotype playing the violin naked."
"Hmmm. I don't think of you playing violin while naked or even in this bare minimum bikini. The stereotype naked Asian thing is excellent, but it's later, or before. Not during. During, it's the focus, and the fingers, and oddly enough, the eyes.
"The eyes? You're into the Asian eye thing, too?"
"Well, I try not to get into any particular thing, exclusively. And I don't think I have a particular Asian thing, in reality, though I do have a Gemma thing. But I do have a thing for craftsman's eyes, musician's eyes. When they're playing, really lost in the playing, their eyes are abstract, distant, a million miles away. I want to fuck those eyes."
"You're weird."
"Thanks."
"You got all that from the thing under my chin?"
"Actually, I saw the violin case in your room, and your mother told me about your lessons years ago, so I cheated. But I did notice the chin thing, which means you practice a lot, and I'm proud to say that I could see it while mostly getting preoccupied with your smoking hot body."
"It's the body of a 14-year-old boy."
"The main difference is that I have no interest in fucking a 14-year-old boy."
"I'm losing track. Is this some sort of theoretical discussion, or is this part of the seduction? I ask because I can't tell if that's a compliment."
"I think the original question is how I'd seduce you, but, as I've said, I view this as you seducing me."
"Right. You seem to have that delusion. So how am I seducing you?"
"Well, I haven't decided. I'm 40, and your 18. You're going to attend my university, and I'm chair of a department where you'll likely take classes. One could argue there's a power differential."
"One could."
"But if we're talking about my behavior while getting seduced by a teenager, I'd probably start at the nipples."
"Whose?"
"Yours."
"And how do you start there?"
"Well, I'm an old guy, and you're a young girl, and both of us would expect me to start with some sort of kiss, but I think that if I were trying to seduce you--which I'm not--I might bypass the preliminaries, and while we're sitting in my backyard, by the pool, late at night, I might just reach out and rub your nipples with the back of my hand."
"Really?"
"Well, probably not both nipples at the same time. My hand isn't that big. One at a time."
"What if I screamed?"
"I'd think I had an awesome touch."
"Not that kind of scream."
"Won't happen. I'd only brush a nipple if I knew you'd go for it."
"How would you know?"
"I'd drone on about it so long that if you were truly not interested, you'd fall asleep. But if you found yourself getting aroused, like you are now, I'd be confident that you'd welcome the touch, would even be getting impatient for the touch."
"Oh, really. Maybe I'm just being a polite guest."
"That's true--there is the stereotypical Asian politeness, but I'm actually fairly skeptical of that stereotype. And then we'd kiss, but after the nipple. People like transgressions, and it's a little pervy to bypass a base. And that would amp up the kiss after you'd already felt me pull on your nipples."
"How long have you been giving people this line about bypassing bases and transgressions?"
"Since before you were born, Gemma. But I only pull it out on very special occasions. Maybe two times, total."
"Is this a special occasion?"
