Sarah had been trying to get me on the phone for the last two days. She was getting worried I might not show up for the rehearsal dinner. As far as she knew the wedding was still on. I really did want to just not go and let her figure things out for herself but I did love her. Why did I love her after what she did? Well, I did a lot worse if you think about it. But anyway I was still angry with her. But either way I relented and answered the phone. She asked to come over and help me through my cold feet. I said fine.
It was strange. In a way, I wanted to be with her but in another way I didn't want to touch her. I wanted to confront her but in the end I didn't. So I settled on a plan of making demands she couldn't accept and then she would call it off.
"I've decided to have a bachelor party." I said as she sat down on the sofa next to me.
"Tim, we've talked about this."
"The party's tomorrow night."
"We have the..."
"I know. It's after dinner."
"You want to look at other women the night before you get married to me?"
"Who knows. I might even get a blow job out of it."
"Tim! How dare you."
"Keep acting like this and I'm likely to go get laid too."
"Are you serious?" She looked angry at me for a moment but then her kinder side came out. "Ok. I can see something's going on. Tim. Talk to me. What are you feeling?"
"I don't know. I've been faithful to you all this time but it's just a lot to ask of someone to never have sex with anyone else ever, for life, ever again, you know."
"Aren't I enough for you?"
"Gee. I hope so. I think so but lately I've been having these thoughts."
"Cold feet. Everyone gets cold feet."
"I mean, the divorce rate is so high and I think part of it is caused by these unrealistic expectations people have."
"Like what?"
"Well, what if I mess up? What if something happens and I'm just too weak? How will I know you'll forgive me?"
"Have you done anything for me to worry about?"
"You're trying to avoid the question. Don't change the topic. I need to know that if we get married and I mess up that you'll forgive me instead of just filing for divorce."
"Well, I think it depends how you mess up."
"Look, Sarah. My Sarah. If we get married I've just got to know that divorce is a last resort. I need to know how much you really trust me. And a bachelor party is really about trust."
"That's a myth guys tell themselves to feel good about cheating or almost cheating."
"You're interrupting. Stop it. Look I need to know that you'll trust me. I'll need to know that you're on my team."
"I am. Can't you see that? I've always been on your team."
"I'm going to that bachelor party and things might happen. If you can't handle that then maybe this wedding is happening too fast."
"Ok. I agree. If you feel this way and you obviously feel strongly about it, then go have a party and have a good time. I won't even ask what goes on."
"I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about these trust issues, I mean, the day might come even after we're married that something could happen and I need to know you're ok with it."
"That's going a bit far, don't you think."
I laughed inside as I remembered Nelly and the look on her face.
She continued, "A bachelor party before the wedding is one thing but after we take vows I expect you to live by them."
"And you will too?"
"Of course. 100%."
"But see, that right there creates this thing where if either one of us messes up, even a bit, then it's off to divorce court. If you're going to be my wife then I need you to trust me that even if I have sex with someone else I'll always go home to you."
"And does that extend to me too? Can I go fuck guys and then come home to you?"
"No. Of course not. If I even think you're cheating on me then it's over."
"Double standard. And that's why we both have to be faithful."
"I still don't think you get it. I'm just going to have to insist on this. If I mess up then I require that you forgive me but you have to be on your best behavior."
"That's not how marriage works, Tim and frankly that sounds extremely childish coming from you."
"That's how it has to be."
"It can not be that way. How can you even ask me to accept that?"
"Fine. Then you know what to do."
The conversation ended there for a few moments but she didn't leave. She was calculating in her head on how to proceed.
"You know I love you." she said. "And if you make a mistake then I will do my best to forgive you. I know you love me and I hope you'd try just as hard to forgive me if it ever came to that."
"I'm not too sure."
"Tim, you're getting worked up over a hypothetical. It's never going to happen."
...
For some reason my eye kept floating back to my sister during the rehearsal dinner. Much more than I would have liked, my mind was scheming ways to get her into my bed. But that wasn't the dragon I had to slay this night. I wondered if my sister would be so sexual with me knowing I was her brother. It would be really nice if she would. At this point I could hardly get her out of my mind. I'm getting another hard on for her just thinking about it.
Everything went smoothly and it was nearing time for me to be off to go to my bachelor party that Domino was overjoyed to throw for me. And he even did it for free, with a strong hint that even after I got married he'd have a job for me if I wanted it. I think I might at that. We'll see. I wasn't high on self respect at the moment. It didn't enter my mind that I would break it off with Sarah and then just go marry someone else and live a normal life. I figured I'd break it off with Sarah and start fucking customers as a way to catch up on all the pussy I'd passed up being faithful to my unfaithful girlfriend. Or I'd get married to Sarah and well, keep stripping and fucking customers. Why not? I'd have Domino send my sister a free party pass and then maybe I'd get back in that tight, wet pussy again.
The dinner was over and I was in the changing room getting into some more casual clothes when Sarah came to me.
"Have fun." she said but she looked worried.
"No sweat. I won't even be gone that long."
She came close. "Come back to me, ok. We've both put so much into this wedding. Tomorrow you'll be my husband. Please. Come back to me."
So she was justifying what she did with this idea that at least she came back to me. Fine, she wanted to put on the guilt, then let's get this over with.
"Sarah, can you ask Karen to come here. I have to ask her something."
"What? What do you want to ask her?"
"Don't look at me like that. Go get her."
She left and as she returned with Karen I could hear the two women planning their story and contingencies for whatever I might ask.
"Here she is, honey." Sarah was trying to sound so sweet.
"Karen, as maid of honor, you have to do anything the bride asks of you, right?"
She looked puzzled. "Uh, I guess."
"Yes or no."
"Yes. Within reason."
"Yes, or no? Leave the fine print out."
"Yes."
"Sarah, do you want to get married tomorrow?"
"You know she does."
"Karen, let her answer."
"Yes." said Sarah.
"Fine, then I want you to tell Karen to come over here and suck my dick."
Both of their jaws dropped and I think the look of outrage was sincere. "What the hell, Tim?" said Karen.