I'll never forget it. It was 199x and the evening of my eighteenth birthday. I had a quiet dinner at home with my older brother, Ryan, our twenty-one-year-old sister, Renee, and our parents. It was a Tuesday night and we had scheduled a real party and sleepover with my friends for the upcoming Friday night. After some family time, Ryan left saying he had to be up early for work the next morning. I was disappointed because I had wanted and expected to spend some more time with him.
For years, I had a crush on Ryan. Despite being about eight years older than me with another sister between us, he and I were very close. It had started out as simple sibling admiration but as I grew older, it developed into something else, something that I knew wasn't right. I tried to hide it and suppress it but I always worried that he and everyone else could see it in my eyes and in everything I did when I was around him.
Ryan stood six feet four inches tall and had a lean, but not lanky, body. He had a face that was angular and contained a pair of amazing grey-blue eyes. His honey blond hair was longer on top to display his natural curls but short on the sides and back except for a thin rat-tail that hung to below his waist. He'd been maintaining it since he was ten and because he refused to cut it, he'd never had more than temporary jobs, most of which paid under the table. Even as he moved past the age of twenty-five, he wore his pants low around his hips exposing a good portion of the boxers beneath. His ears were pierced and usually contained a pair of square faux diamond studs. Completing his thuggish persona, he also grew out his pinky nails with the one on his left hand being nearly two inches long. Overall, he was a really good-looking guy and never lacked a girl on his arm or in his bed. When he smiled at me, I wished I was one of them but hoped he'd never know about my inappropriate feelings for him.
With Ryan gone and feeling sad, I made the excuse that I had homework to finish and went up to my room shortly after he left. I had just entered it and was closing the door when I heard a noise come from my closet. Before I could even register what was happening, Ryan popped his head out.
"What are you doing?" I whispered. Even though I was surprised by his appearance, something told me I shouldn't alert the others to his presence.
"I wanted to spend some time with you alone." He matched my volume as he climbed onto my bed then laid on his side facing me with his head propped up on the hand beneath him. "Maybe give you something special for your birthday. That is if you want it."
My eyes went wide as I saw him slide his other hand into his exposed boxers and begin to play with himself. Thinking I had to be dreaming, I stared at him trying to make sense of what he was doing. Part of me was really flattered that he seemed to want to have sex with me, but I couldn't believe that he, my big brother, was actually suggesting that. My hesitation was compounded by the fact that I was still a virgin, and despite all of my fantasies, I had not contemplated actually having sex anytime soon, least of all with my hunky brother. Despite recognizing his obvious intent, I asked, "What is it?"
"Your first dick," he said without hesitation or shame. "I want to give you a special birthday fuck. I know it'll be your first time and this way it'll be something you remember fondly instead of hating it like most people do. You're turning into a woman and the guys are going to really start noticing you, if they haven't already. I know Mom and Dad keep telling you to wait until you're married, but that's bullshit. It's just sex, and one day you'll give in and regret it either because you'll wish you'd done it sooner or he's not the right guy. I promise you, if I'm your first, you won't regret it for any reason."
"I don't know..." Even though I liked what he was offering, I was nervous and more than a little scared.
Ever my big brother and protector, Ryan stood and pulled me into a hug and I could feel his hardness press against me. In a tone that he often used to comfort me, he said, "I'm not going to force you or pressure you but I think it's something you'll hate yourself for if you don't do it."
We remained silent for a few minutes as he held me, stroking my back. Between us, his dick throbbed and twitched insistently against my hip and more than once I felt him gently roll his hips to press it into me. Three inches shy of being a full foot shorter than Ryan, my head rested contentedly on his suddenly broad chest and all I could smell was the mix of his antiseptic deodorant and masculine body odor. I remembered how the same scent had lingered for a few weeks in this room, which used to be his, and that thought made me miss him even though he was right there. Coming to a decision, I realized with him being my first, my brother and I would always have a special bond.
With my nerves making my voice soft and shaky, I asked, "How do we do this?"
"Well, let's start by getting you naked." Ryan pulled away and sat on the edge of my bed to watch me undress. He grabbed my remote and turned on the TV, setting the volume to a level that was not too loud but would obscure our soft voices.
Even though I had just agreed to have sex with him, I felt awkward getting undressed in front of him, my brother.
Ryan watched intently as each piece of clothing came off. When I was down to my bra and panties, he leaned back on one elbow and used his other hand to massage his still concealed erection through his jeans. As I reached behind me to unhook my bra, he said, "Go slow."
I did as he requested. Thinking I could make it less awkward by playing with him, I took my time exposing myself and spun so my back was to him as I released the clasp. Turning slightly to my right as the cup fell away from that breast, I gave him a peek at a bit of the side of it. I turned my back on him again then pivoted to the left to repeat the tease. With my back to him, I dropped the bra to the ground in front of me.
Ryan moaned softly then asked, "You've done that before, haven't you?"
"No." I was surprised that the act seemed to increase the tension in the room instead of lightening it. With even more butterflies in my stomach, I spoke to him over my shoulder. "First time."
"You're a natural." He moved his hand under his waistband and resumed playing with himself. "Get those panties off. Show me your ass."
I did as requested and slowly pulled down my underwear. As I bent at the waist to pull the garment passed my knees, I heard him moan softly at the sight of my bare bottom. After stepping out of them, I used one arm to cover my breasts while the other hand covered my crotch then turned around.
"Come here." Ryan's voice had taken on a tone that I had not heard from him before. It was deep and authoritative yet still soft and warm.
Hesitantly, I stepped closer to him as he sat up and spread his legs wider.
When he removed his hand from under the baggy jeans he was wearing, he pulled with it the head and a few inches of his erection. Exposed, he made no move to cover himself.
Even though I knew it was necessary to accomplish this task, seeing even this little bit of my brother's hard penis for the first time caused me to gasp and blush. I averted my eyes and looked up into his to see him giving me a half smile.
"You're going to do more than see it soon." Reaching out, he pulled me to stand between his legs against the bed. His smile faded and a serious look took up residence on his face. "Before we go further, I have to ask you something. Are you sure you want to do this? Once we start, there's no stopping."
I nodded my head that I did.
"No. I need to hear you say it."
"Yes. I want to do this." My voice was shakier than I expected.
