I was relieved to have my sons home. Tim was 18 and just returning from his first semester in college and James was 20, home for the week from his job in the city. My husband was away on business in Thailand, no doubt enjoying the company benefits with some young hooker, and I was planning on spending the week alone. But then James called and here they were at the kitchen table.
I loved my sons. We had always been close, ever since they were boys rolling naked in the mud we never kept anything from each other. But I couldn't talk to them about this. Something that had been racking my mind for the past year—something I couldn't shake or get away from: I was lonely and their father was going to leave me. I mean how do you bring that up? What do you tell them? Of course the questions would come and they would be right to ask them.
Why couldn't we work it out? Why is he cheating? Why? There were a million answers, but none of them were true. None of them were exactly right. If I was honest with them, I would tell them the truth was I wasn't interesting anymore. I was only 38 and I still had my body—I worked hard for it and we were active sexually. But I knew he wanted more. He wanted someone younger and different. Unfortunately, that was what marriage was: Sex thinking about someone else.
So here I was looking into my blue eyed angel Tim. He smiled at me and scrapped the remainder of his dinner. I wondered if he knew that I had a dildo in my drawer in the kitchen. It was pink and rather long and just before he and his brother came over I had used it on the kitchen floor. That was the real suburban housewife and I wondered if it had ever occurred to him.
"That was great mom. Thanks," he said with a smile and stood up.
"Your welcome dear," I replied. "Now don't worry about the dishes and go in the other room. James is watching football."
He smiled at me, walked around the table then gave me a hug. "I love being home," he whispered in my ear.
"I am so happy you guys are here," I replied. I kissed his nose and pushed him away.
I spent the next few minutes in the kitchen washing the dishes and cleaning up. I thought about my boys and how proud of them I was. James never went to college. He didn't need to. He was so out spoken and intelligent that he was making too much money to waste time in school. He was so handsome too. He dated different girls from time to time, but I knew he was never serious about them. The only thing he was serious about was work—just like his father.
Tim was different. He was quiet, thoughtful and artistic. After James left home Tim spent a lot of his time in his room drawing and writing. He was my sensitive one. He was very good looking in a different way than his brother and all through out high school girls were after him. But he never paid attention to them—he was always somewhere else in his head. It was so bad in fact that I thought he was gay until I found some porno in his room. The fact was he just wasn't ready for a women and I didn't blame him: I would be the first to tell him that we are a crazy sex.
They were all grown up until they got home. Then the two of them would act like they were 10 again and watch TV and play games. I didn't mind it at all. They had always been close and seeing them get along so well made me feel like I had done something right as a mother. Too bad I wasn't a good wife.
That thought made me frown and I wiped my hands on a towel thought of the dildo in the drawer and shook my head. Not while the boys are in the house. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch between them and cuddled. We watched football and then a movie, laughing and joking until late. After the movie they got up to head to bed and I agreed that it was time to sleep as well. I watched them head upstairs and I stayed on the couch for a bit.
My mind went back to the kitchen and my dildo. I had some unfinished business and the boys would be asleep. I crossed my legs and thought it over. They would be here for a week and there was nothing worse than starting on something but never getting the orgasm. That's what I needed, even if it was just from a piece of plastic. I resolved to make a new rule: after I came from the dildo there would be no more until the boys left. I needed to be a mom—but only after I got off. I was, after all, a woman and I had needs.
I smiled, stood up and stretched. I walked over to the mirror in the hall and played with my hair. It was getting long and I thought of making an appointment the next day. I turned to the side and straightened my back. "Only 115 pounds, not bad Sue, not bad at all," I said to myself quietly. The thought remained only a second then I imagined my husband with some Thai slut.
I sighed out loud then went to the kitchen. My hands shook a little as I was excited to get off. Sad but true. I took the dildo out and smiled. It was my man. An erection that never went limp. I rummaged in the drawer until I found the lube. The best part of a dildo was it could take care of any hole I put it in. I thought of the best sex I had ever had with my husband and smiled. That was the thought I needed to get me off.
I walked up the stairs and made my way to my room. James and Tim were in their own respective ones and I would have the big bed to myself. I closed the door, pulled back the blankets and slid onto the bed. My pussy was already wet by the time I slid out of my pants and top. I lubed the dildo up as best as I could and pressed it against my pussy. I closed my eyes and thought of my husband's fingers pushing against me. He knew how to touch me and when we were young he used to sneak into my dorm room and just finger me. I let out a sigh and I felt my pussy growing wetter.
I thought about the anticipation of his cock. I used to live for that thing. Any moment that I could get it out of his pants and in my mouth or my pussy and eventually my ass would be enough to make me cum. I pushed the dildo in and clenched it with my pussy.
"Oh," I said quietly.
I thought of his cock pushing into me and I smiled. I opened my eyes to look down and then I froze. Tim stood in the doorway quietly looking at me.
I panicked. "Oh shit Tim!" I squeaked. I yanked the dildo out and pulled the covers up to my chest. "What the hell are you doing?"
His face was beet red and he slipped into the room and closed the door. "I, um, was going to say good night. I can go. I just, I didn't expect..."
"I know. Shit I am sorry," I said. I tried to smile weakly. My poor son is probably scarred for life now.
He sat on the end of the bed. I looked at him quietly and tried to find my composure.
After a very heavy pause he looked up at me with his big blue eyes, "Mom, are you lonely?"
The question caught me off guard. "What?" I managed to say.