Thank you to those of you who provided me with feedback on my first exploration into the darkness within. The voyage continues...
*
Three months have passed since I had made love to Aunt Jane on the carpet of her lounge room. It wasn't just a sexual act between us but something so much more. I have never felt such intense and uncontrollable emotion as I did that afternoon. Unfortunately it ended in a disaster when Aunt Jane, or AJ as I call her, ordered me to leave. I tried numerous times to contact her, but she never answered the telephone and eventually I ran out of excuses to tell Uncle Barry, so I just stopped trying.
My life sucked now. I wanted to see AJ again so badly and couldn't bear the thought of her not wanting to see me. I became moody and depressed. My girlfriend Sharon couldn't stand being around me any longer and has moved out. I think that was inevitable anyway but my demeanor just helped the process along a bit. Luckily my work wasn't affected because I tended to throw myself into it just to find some solace.
I could see mum and dad were concerned, but I guess they believed it was all caused by the breakdown in my relationship with Sharon. Poor Sharon. She really was the innocent party and had no idea why I changed so suddenly. She is a good person and I do need to make it up to her somehow. Then again, she will want to know what happened and I don't think saying "Oh it wasn't you're fault, I just had sex with my aunt and fell in lust," would be very helpful. Maybe one day I could just send her some flowers out of the blue. Mmmm, probably not.
The news must have spread amongst the family because my sister Kate also pried herself away from her husband to drop in and see me -- something that never happens. I really don't remember much of her visit except it was one Saturday morning after I had been to war with Jack Daniels. I lost. When I finally came to my senses it was late afternoon and I was laying naked on my bed and wet from head to foot. As much as I try, I cannot recall what happened, but it took a week for my bed to dry out properly.
Now here I was, three months later, in the back of mum and dads car on the way to hospital to see Aunt Jane after the birth of her son. Yes, AJ was six months pregnant on that fateful afternoon. I remember thinking at the time that her 'baby bump' only added to the sexiness of the woman that she is.
I lingered behind mum and dad as they entered AJ's private room and just leant against the doorway. Uncle Barry was there and ecstatic that he now had a son to compliment their two girls. There were congratulations, hugs and kisses all around, but I never saw any of it. My eyes were only for Aunt Jane.
AJ was sitting up in bed and, although she acknowledged everyone, I could see she looked drawn and tired. I sensed that she just wanted to rest. Eventually AJ looked across and spotted me for the first time. As our eyes locked I could see her tense up before she relaxed and snuggled into the comfort of her bed -- the ends of her mouth turned up in the beginnings of a smile.
I was then totally shocked when Aunt Jane said, "Barry, why don't you take George and Caroline to see the baby. I'm sure Tony will stay here and keep me company while you're away, won't you Tony?"
"Sure AJ, of course I will." I walked over to Bazza and said, "Congratulations Uncle Barry," then reached out and shook his hand.
"Thanks Tony," he replied, then turned to Aunt Jane and said, "you make sure you get some rest Hon, we'll be back in about 20 minutes."
After the three of them had left an awkward quietness descended upon the room. Aunt Jane and I just looked at each other for a short time before AJ held her hand out to me. Like a little kid in trouble, I slowly made my way to her bedside and took her hand in mine.
"Your mum tells me that you and Sharon have broken up, she also said that you have been quite depressed about it."
I looked up from the floor, taking in all of AJ as she lay in a mound of pillows with a blanket pulled up onto her stomach. She was dressed conservatively in a light blue cotton nightgown. The deep V of the cleavage did little to hide her beautifully freckled milky white breasts, fully engorged and hard with life giving milk. Her copper coloured hair was not tied up in the usual bun but cascaded in waves onto her shoulders, the fringe framing my Aunt Jane's beautiful face.
As my eyes once again locked onto AJ's, I heard a small gasp escape from her. "I've not been down because of the break up with Sharon, AJ," I said. "It's because you didn't contact me, because you were avoiding me." I then paused, took a deep breath and said, "I love you Jane."
"I so, so sorry Tony," she replied. "I didn't know what to do. There are any number of reasons why what happened between us should never have happened. I am your aunt for god's sake and you are the son of my brother. I am a married woman and I love my husband, your uncle. I am 37 and you are 21. What we did was wrong."
"I know all of that," I interrupted, "but I also know of the desire that I feel for you, that I want to be with you... to make love to you.... far outweighs any of those reasons."
"We could never be together Tony, I have a husband and three children that I love, and you are young and have your whole life ahead of you."
I knew then that I was defeated. I could never do anything to hurt AJ, Uncle Barry or the kids.
"I am sorry that I didn't contact you Tony," AJ continued. "I guess I may have been in shock and disgusted with what I had done. I had committed incest and become an adulteress in one act. I was confused and needed time to think. But as time went by and the more I thought about it, the more I realised that my marriage was still good, the sky had not fallen and the sun still rose every day. Oh don't worry, I also know that for the rest of my life I will always be an adulteress. I cannot take that back. But I have become comfortable with that. We are the only ones who know and I believe I can trust you not to say anything, can't I Tony?"
"Of course you can Aunt Jane. I promise you that I will never utter a word to anyone."
"Thank you," AJ responded. "You know, when I was trying to work myself through all of this I also thought about what we did, I thought about you and how you made me feel, how considerate and gentle you were, about how you felt..."
"I'm sorry that it wasn't for very long," I chipped in with a smirk.
"No it wasn't," she said, matching my grin. "But that doesn't matter. The way you made me feel Tony, that's not something I will ever forget. You made me feel so very special," but before AJ could finish mum, dad and Uncle Barry where back.
"So what have you two been talking about?" Bazza said.
"Well," AJ responded, "I was just telling Tony that when the baby settles down, probably in a few months time, I will be looking to try and get my old figure back. When you walked in I was just about to suggest to him that we take up dancing again."