Looking back on it now, I can't believe that I never cared much for sex. Perhaps right after Paul and I got married, it was thrilling, but hardly what I would call enjoyable. Paul and I shared our very first sexual encounter on the night of our wedding. The act itself did not hurt a bit, as some of the women in my family had warned me. It just felt a bit naughty doing something that had been taboo for so long in my life. At first I wanted it maybe once every couple of weeks. Paul seemed OK with my desires, never pushing me too much, but I knew in his heart he wanted it once a week, at least, and I would occasionally give in.
Sex with Paul made me feel good, but I'm not sure I ever really had an orgasm, at least not what I know of one now! We really didn't know any different, you could say we were both quite naive about the whole topic. It was really never brought up due to our level of shyness. I never wanted to hurt Paul's feelings. It really goes to show you how silly a couple of kids can be. What I knew of sex came from a couple of articles I had read somewhere. A ladies magazine in the doctor's office, or maybe one of my looser friend of a friends. Nobody I would have cared to associate with would speak of the matter! What I did know was that coupling with Paul would fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a mommy. Basically, the only reason I participated in sex, apart from the fact of pleasing my husband, was to get fat with child!
Paul and I each wanted kids as bad as the next. We never used protection, and he never pulled out. I even let him take me 2 or 3 times a month. Always with him on top, and always with the lights out. On most occasions I would simply pull my long night dress up and push my cotton panties to the side, allowing him entry. Two years into our young marriage, and no success, we decided we better see what the problem was. The handsome, young fertility doctor ran a battery of tests on me. It never even occurred to me that Paul might be the problem. I immediately started taking fertility drugs. He also gave us few techniques in bed that could help with insemination. I was much too uncomfortable with my nudity to even try! Paul would make the suggestion and I would just blush in shame. Pretty much turning me off the thought altogether. Paul would have to wait another few days for me to calm down enough for us to make love.
Another 6 months passed, yet still no life growing inside of me. Paul was great the whole time, very understanding on the nights I would become so depressed. I finally convinced Paul to get checked out, much to his delay. A few days later the doc had us come to his office so he could deliver the bad news. Paul's sperm count was very low. The doctor discussed our issue at length. He saw that there was no way Paul would ever inseminate me the natural way. The doc made a few suggestions, all of them seemed quite costly. He also suggested us to use a sperm bank! None of his options appealed to us at all! He seemed quite surprised at our reactions.
Then a strange moment occurred between the doctor and myself. Paul was distracted by something he was given to read about his infertility. The moment I remember catching the doctor's eye, seemed to move in slow motion. It was near the end of his conversation, and I kind of thought he was flirting with me! The doc had seen me in various states of undress in the past few months, and this was the first time I got a feeling he wanted me. I'm not bragging or anything, but I've heard from more than a few people that I resemble a young Katie Holmes. Which, strangely enough Katie is my first name as well! I try keep myself in good shape. I'm 5 foot 7 on the mark, a very full 34C, and my slender hips slide easily into a size 4. I try to eat right and I jog at least three miles every day. I think all that running has given me a bit of a booty, Paul likens it to a black girls ass, I just think its fat!
At the end of our visit, Doctor Carroll said, "Well, just keep trying, things , might work out eventually. Stranger things have happened." He told me to continue to stay healthy and to keep cutting down on my coffee. I felt very soothed and safe as he gently touched my shoulder. he brushed a few stray hairs away from my eyes as he spoke. I could see that he was smitten! Turning towards Paul, I saw him slightly screw his nose at my husband. Dr. Carroll told Paul to do everything he could to get his sperm as deep inside of me as possible. The shape of my reproductive tract was also hindering us a little. He told Paul it was nothing a little bedroom experimentation couldn't solve! With that the cute doctor gave me a playful wink. He lectured Paul on the importance of diet and exercise. He told Paul he needed lose at least 65 pounds, and that maybe introducing oysters to his diet might help. With a final hug for me, the doctor led us out of his office.
Paul stepped out into the hall as I finalized the insurance paperwork. When the nurse stepped away to make a photocopy Dr. Carroll approached me and handed me his business card. He looked me dead in the eye and said "Please call me with any questions or issues you might have, day or night, I even put my mobile number on there for you." He wrapped me up in yet another hug and I was convinced I could feel something long and stiff running down his leg. He looked me deep in the eyes as the realization of what he was pressing into my tummy dawned on me. I turned a deep shade of red, completely flustered I quickly tucked his card into my bra and stumbled out into the waiting area!
It seemed that Paul had not taken the news well at all. In fact the piece of advice he seemed to take away was eating all that shellfish, and everything else he could get his hands on! Three months later the only addition we had in the family was the 20 pounds pouring over my dear husbands belt. It also seemed that our sexlife had dwindled considerably. We were only having sex once a month, and now I was the aggressor. Paul would put his penis in me and pump it a few dozen times before bellowing out his orgasm. He never even attempted to kiss me as he did before. I found myself constantly daydreaming about Dr. Carroll, only to chastise myself for even dreaming of cheating on the love of my life!
Aside from our bedroom differences married life was good! Paul had a good job in middle management at a telemarketing firm. And I was between assignments as a freelance graphic designer. It was nice being at home, I was able to keep up with my many wifely duties. I found great pleasure in making life easier for Paul.
I was home one afternoon preparing dinner when the phone rang. I heard Paul pick it up from the other room. Going back to my chopping, I was once again lost in my thoughts. Staring at the business card affixed to the fridge, the business card Dr. Carroll gave me not so many weeks prior. I was startled out of my thoughts when Paul entered the kitchen. He came in to tell me that his older fraternal twin brother had just called. It seemed that he is also in between assignments, and wanted to come stay with us for a while. It had been ages since we had seen him last.
Paul and his brother Ander shared a mother, Paul's parents were part of an experimental in vitro procedure. To increase the likelihood of a full term pregnancy, one egg was fertilized with Paul Sr's sperm, and another was fertilized by a donor chosen by Paul's mother. The doctors did not expect Paul to survive in the womb as so many of the past procedures using Paul Sr's sperm had failed. This was the last ditch effort before considering adoption.
The relationship between Paul and Ander was tumultuous to say the least. Paul was in constant competition with Ander, they never really formed that brotherly bond. Ander would almost always win, that is unless Paul pulled some underhanded tricks. The two sort of lost contact after they both moved out. Paul went on to college, while Ander went out to explore the world while fighting for our country.
The last memory I had of the brute was at our wedding. He had been pestering me for a dance all night, and I had rebuffed all of his advances. Finally he caught me coming out of the ladies room, he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder hauling me to the dance floor. He forced me to dance 3 songs with him as the guests cheered him on for his bold behavior, and for breaking me out of my shell that night.
