She went to the kitchen to heat a bowl of turkey chili in the microwave. She pulled the magnetic notepad and pen from the refrigerator and sat at the table. She jotted down some gift ideas. Mom and Dad would get towels, lots and lots of towels. In addition, she wanted to buy Mom a new pair of sneakers, the pair she had now was getting pretty disgusting. Dad could use a new rod and reel; he'd dropped two in the lake over the summer. She wondered if they made fishing rods that floated. She would check Bass Pro Shops for that. She jotted down gift cards for a few of her friends. She wanted to buy a toy for her friend Martha's new baby girl. That left Kevin. He would be tough to buy for. It's not that he is hard to please (he always seemed to appreciate her gifts); it's just that she wanted to give him something he really wanted this year, something so perfect that not even Cassie could give it to him. She put a trio of question marks by his name.
Damn it, she forgot about Cassie. Was she supposed to buy Cassie something? Amanda tried to remember if she had ever bought anything for any of Kevin's girlfriends. She hadn't, but he had never been as serious about them as he was with Cassie. Her instincts told her to not bother, but she just knew that Cassie would buy her something really nice, and then she would look like a total Scrooge for not giving anything in return. God, she hated that girl. She jotted down McDonalds gift certificate next to Cassie's name and smiled wickedly.
Sunday arrived at last. Amanda was in a haze for most of the day. She was so incredibly happy, a condition her parents were very pleased to see. She didn't even complain when she went downstairs for lunch and smelled another pot of turkey chili simmering on the stove. She politely declined the bowl of chili her mother offered, opting instead for a granola bar and an orange. She wasn't on a diet; she was just too excited to eat.
Kevin called around four. The background noise on his cell phone revealed that he was already at the mall. He was alone, thank goodness, putting the final touches on his shopping. He asked if she could meet him there around six. She readily agreed. He reminded her to bring the course catalog along. They would study it at dinner. He finished the conversation by saying that he really wanted to see her.
Amanda's heart fluttered as she put the phone on the cradle. She wanted to see him even more. She hated Cassie so much for what she'd done. He was her big brother. Cassie had no right keeping them apart.
Amanda checked the clock on her desk. She had almost two hours before she had to meet Kevin at the food court. She slipped on a pair of canvas tennis shoes and threw the yellow zip-up cardigan over her shoulders. She would head to the mall early. Maybe they would bump into one another and do some shopping together. It couldn't hurt to try.
She bounced downstairs and found herself in the kitchen. "Bye, Mom, I'm off to see Kevin." She hugged her mother hard.
"Oh, so that explains the sudden change in attitude," her mother said. "Don't be out too late. You're brother has school in the morning."
Amanda nodded. She was about to leave when a question popped into her head. "Mom, did you really mean it?" she asked.
Mom folded her arms. "Mean what, Mandy?"
Amanda ignored the use of her childish nickname. "Did you mean what you told me that night in my room?" She couldn't help herself. It was stupid to open this old wound, but she had to know. "You really wouldn't care if Kevin and I..." She couldn't figure out how to word it: if we dated, if we fucked, if we were in love.
"I just wanted you to be happy," was Mom's innocuous answer.
"Does the offer still stand?" she asked, clenching her teeth and wincing.
"Yes, but I don't think Kev---"
Amanda didn't let her finish. She practically shouted, "Bye, Mom!" and headed for the mall.
It took a good twenty minutes to find a parking space. And then she had to walk forever to the mall entrance. The weather remained unseasonably warm. The walk made her sweat. She felt the fabric of the t-shirt cling to her back. The mall was normally quiet this late on a Sunday, but since it was Thanksgiving weekend it was bustling with activity. She elbowed past a group of loitering teenagers. The boys all leered. A saxophone player stood just inside the door. He played Christmas tunes, while shoppers came up and deposited loose change and dollar bills into his Salvation Army kettle. Amanda reached in her purse and pulled out a dollar. She slipped it in the kettle, and the sax player gave her a gracious wink as he started playing "O Little Town of Bethlehem."
She surveyed the crowds. It was like watching a human ant farm. People streamed from one store to the next, following the chemical trails that would lead to the next bargain. She didn't see Kevin, of course. Not even he would stand out in this crowd. She thought about calling him to meet up. No, she decided, he told her to meet him in the food court at six. She didn't want to look desperate. If they happened to bump into one another before then and hook up, that was a different matter.
She found the escalator and headed downstairs. Her first destination was the department store. Sears had a white sale, so she loaded up on every kind of towel imaginable. She got bath towels, hand towels, kitchen towels, and an armful of dishrags. Her purchases filled an entire shopping bag. Mom and Dad would have enough towels to last until retirement. She bought a stack of gift cards for her friends and some decent walking shoes for Mom. She looked at tools, for Kevin, but couldn't imagine what he would need in that tiny apartment of his. She browsed the men's clothing department. She saw some shirts that she thought he'd look handsome in, but they didn't come in tall sizes. Besides, she didn't want to get him something as impersonal as a dress shirt. Her debit card was practically smoking by the time she was finished, but at least a large chunk of her shopping was finished. She walked to the Bass Pro Shops and bought Dad a new baitcasting reel and a rod. The nice old salesman had helped her pick it out. It wasn't too cheap, but it wasn't too expensive. She also found some foam floats that could be fastened on to Dad's new rod, should he ever drop it in the lake. Again, she looked for something that Kevin would like. He wasn't a fisherman like Dad, but he did enjoy the outdoors. He and his buddies used to do a lot of camping and hiking. She thought about getting him some new hiking shoes, but, again, that just didn't seem right.
Next she stopped at the toy store. She felt pretty proud after she emerged with a lullaby-singing stuffed bear for her friend Martha's new baby. She had managed to buy everyone on her list a gift. Everyone except Kevin. The bags were pretty heavy, but she managed to drag them along. Two windows down from the toy store she passed the lingerie store. Seeing the scantily dressed mannequins in the window displays reminded her that she needed some new underwear, and probably some bras, too. She thought about going in, but decided against it. She could find more affordable options and a less trashy setting at the Gap.
She browsed the cashmere sweaters meticulously folded at the Gap's entrance. A sign proclaimed half off. They were beautiful, but even at half off they cost a fortune. She decided to pass. She worked her way back to the intimates. The bra selection was pitiful, but after a bit of weeding, she found a 34C t-shirt bra. The panties were in better supply. She passed on the bikini and teeny bikini panties, and didn't even look at the thongs. She settled for a pair of heather gray high cut panties. She needed more but figured she shouldn't be shopping for herself. She wandered over to sleepwear.
The nightgowns drew her attention, one in particular. It was black and trimmed with lace. The neckline was cut low, and the hem fell just past the hip. It wasn't as overtly sexual as the lingerie she'd seen in the Victoria's Secret window. But it was sleek and feminine, and unlike anything she had ever owned. She had always been content to wear oversized t-shirts to bed. When it got cold, she would add flannel pajama pants to keep her legs warm. She touched the lacy bodice with her fingers. She wondered what she would look like in it. The mannequin that it was displayed on was tall and slender. Amanda was petite and curvy. Would the sexiness translate to her figure? Maybe the fact that she had boobs and hips would make the nightgown look even better on her. No, she was being stupid. She didn't need to look sexy. She had no one to look sexy for. She imagined what Mom and Dad would say if she came down for breakfast some Sunday morning wearing that! And poor Kevin, he'd pitch a tent in his pajamas so fast that it would put an Eagle Scout to shame. That was an intriguing thought. She felt the laciness again and wondered if Kevin got turned on by stuff like this.
She imagined wearing it for him. That could be his Christmas gift, she thought. Some guys get silk ties wrapped in glittery gold paper; he'd get a pair of 34Cs wrapped in black lace. Not a bad deal, altogether, she figured. She knew it was stupid. She knew Kevin would never see her in it; she would probably bury it in the deep recesses of her closet and forget about it. But she bought the nightgown anyway. When the saleslady handed her the bag and receipt, she buried both in the largest shopping bag, beneath a mound of towels.
She went to the food court and found an empty table by the Chinese Express. She set the bags down and sighed in relief. The handle of the bag was cutting into her palm. She blew on her sore hand and waited patiently for Kevin. She checked her watch. It was a few ticks past six. A touch on her shoulder alerted her to his presence. Kevin had several bags of his own, though not the enormous load that she had.
"Wow," he said, surveying her two enormous shopping bags. "Someone's been busy." He laid his bags next to hers. "I'll get the food if you watch the booty." She wanted to make a remark about how he was the one who liked watching "booties," but she refrained. She didn't want to scare him off. "What do you want?" he asked.
Amanda thought for a moment. Usually she blurted out burgers or pizza, but she was in the mood for something more exotic. Mexican didn't sound very appetizing. Neither did Japanese. Since they were so close to the Chinese stand, and it seemed to be the least crowded, she settled on that. She asked for orange chicken and chow mein noodles. Kevin nodded and promised to return. She watched him move through the line. He seemed to be moving kind of strangely. When he got the tray of food and paid, she noticed that he favored his right leg. She was so afraid that he would spill the sodas all over himself.
