Special thanks to my editor Amela for her help.
*
The bricks were laid early. Her relationship with Lisa and the feelings for her daughter were the culmination of a series of occurrences. Renee's marriage to Anna's father didn't go as she intended. She was a bystander to his monopolistic vision of the union. Renee never predicted that he would become the conservative and traditional figure after she tied the knot with him, later, gave birth to Anna. It became Renee and her daughter versus the husband and father of her baby girl. An outside mind might have deemed it a no brainer upon first look and now Renee had to get out of there. However, there was never any violence or fear of violence so the thought of leaving never garnered any serious contemplation in Renee's mind.
More than anything, he suffered from extreme trust issues. Despite the girls' opposition, he tried to keep a stranglehold on any liberties he could. As a coping mechanism, Renee secretly began to turn to the only arena he could not control: her fantasies. Their sex life was dull, unimaginative and the way it was since they began dating. It was devoid of any sort of role playing or elements to spice things up. Her mind became her only outlet to fill the void in her sex life. She pleasured herself to the idea of being with her own made up tales of adultery. Of seduction. Of forbidden desires and acts. Of other men.
And women.
The last time Renee flirted with the idea of being attracted to another woman was when she was still single. She was still in that weird phase of trying to discover her sexual identity. She toyed with liking women - in secret, of course. The female form was a beautiful thing to Renee. It signified new ideas and new possibilities. It was a lot gentler than a man's body. Breast and pussy play were certainly two new intriguing options. However, these thoughts could never be explored as long as she was with her husband. He wouldn't have it. That she was sure of.
But then Anna came out.
Renee was shocked at first and puzzled that she didn't see it before, but was extremely accepting. Her secret thoughts about women certainly softened the blow for her. Anna's father, however, did not share the same attitude. From then on, his actions were overtaken by irrationality. He blacklisted Anna. He condemned her for what he labelled as "unnatural stupidity."
With the aid of her mother, Anna never gave into her father's insults. She continued to stick to her guns and appear unfazed even when it wasn't so inside. He eventually recognized he was not getting through.
So he gave up. In every sense of the word.
His departure was the best thing that could have happened to Renee. Sure, her life was rattled with uncertainty, but that seemed secondary. A whole new world opened up for her. In some strange way, Anna's newly announced sexual awakening was a turning point in the mother's own life. While she previously dangled with the abstract idea of lesbianism behind closed doors, Anna was a step toward dealing with it in a more substantive manner. The more Anna went through and relayed to Renee about her feelings, the more the mom came to terms with her own sexuality.
Eventually Renee arrived to the conclusion that she too was bi and, like her daughter had done some time ago, she came out to her. Anna was, of course, extremely supportive. Their new identities became a point of bonding for the two of them. In the post-father era, this was exactly what they needed to happen. The two of them became close. Really close. Topics of discussion now always revolved around Anna's and Renee's individual quests to find new mates.
The older female's hunt proved to be very discouraging. For one, she felt by coming out at her current age she was already behind in the game. She questioned how many other women were in her exact situation and were also looking for love. She looked at her daughter and assumed there would be so much more out there for her. The lesbian bars and gay nightclubs did not house women who satisfied her in the ways she needed to be. Eventually, she was reduced to living out her own sexuality by hearing about Anna's successes.
But this unfortunate situation produced a truly unexpected phenomenon.
In trying to exist vicariously through her daughter and maintaining a tight kinship with her, Renee began to realize that the woman for her was indeed this same girl!
Her own daughter: her lover.
It was so wrong. Renee's awakening brought her some darker and foreign kinks, but incest was
not
one of them.
It became a feat for the mom to not stray on her desires. Anna had already matured into a good looking woman and, even in her age, Renee could pick out the appeal she had on other women and men. Tall, blonde, athletic. Nicely shaped and sized boobs that were not overly showy. She was very attractive!
Things were further complicated by the fact that the young girl valued her close relationship with her mom. Renee did not want to ruin this bond despite her thoughts that it would be best to separate herself from these feelings. It was the classic rock and a hard place dilemma. At the same time, for Anna's sake, she did not want to alienate the girl. Reluctantly, she tried desperately to imprison and suppress her own needs so as to not spur any undesired responses from her daughter.
***
Enter Lisa.
Lisa came over a lot after school. Renee saw a lot of joy in their relationship. They would come through the door smiling, greet her with bubbly enthusiasm, then skip on upstairs to Anna's room. They were regular BFFs. Girls being girls.
BFFs with benefits. Girlfriends being girlfriends.
This new twist in Renee's jagged psyche picked at her. In one sense, she wanted to be happy that Anna had found a seemingly long-term mate. But she could not. Every little peck on the lips or display of affection jabbed at her. She had to add jealously to the list of harboured thoughts.
For the first time in their household, she began to spy on her own daughter. She'd peek in on her while she was sleeping and just dream that she could be alongside her. Whenever she did her laundry, Renee sniffed any piece of her undergarments and just dreamed about all naughty things that occurred under the fabric. She was floored at the thought of her own daughter's sexuality.
It came to a point where her voyeurism extended to seeing Lisa and Anna in the middle of the act. Renee benefitted by the fact that the two were always together and quite frequently at the house. Often times when the pair would close their door, she'd have to supplement the sounds with her own imagination. In rare occasions, the couple allowed her a peak through a tiny crack in the not quite closed entrance. Watching their young, fit bodies converge was such a turn on for the mom. She entertained her own libido while her daughter and her very dear friend tickled their own senses.
***
One afternoon, the three women were having coffees in the family room. Anna and Lisa were relaying comical stories to Renee about the ways they tease and then deny perverted guys hoping to get in on a threesome with them. The conversation had them all in stitches. The young lesbian couple again appeared so natural with one each other Very comfortable. Renee could not help but stare and study them with envy.
Anna excused herself to the little girl's room. Renee watched her until she disappeared out of room. She had the hottest tennis skirt and tanned legs on display.
"I've seen you, Renee." That line from Lisa broke the woman's gaze.
Renee cocked her head and lowered her eyebrows. "What?"
"I've seen you, Renee," The girl repeated.
Her eyes widened a bit. Not too much, though. Let's just see what she had seen. Oh, she couldn't know. She laughed and shook her head. "I still don't know what you're talking about dear."
"It was so obvious from the start; you really got careless in hiding it. And the extended looks, the ogling..."
How could she be so stupid?! In watching them, she was not watching herself. She knew that sometimes she could be so open when staring at the two lovers, but she was hoping it would never catch up to her. It was all over.
Or so she thought.
The girl continued with the mom's seemingly impending condemnation. "I mean, Renee, I'm so flattered and quite frankly really relieved!"
Wait. What?!
"Don't worry...I won't tell Anna that you have a thing for me." She winked. "It'll be our little secret, yay!"
The girl had put two and two together and came up with eleven! Renee could not believe it! She faced a situation here. Obviously she could not deny what she was saying.
