This is the complete version of Chapter 11. It replaces a mistakenly submitted rough draft of general ideas for this chapter. Hopefully everyone enjoys this version more than the uncompleted version originally posted.
SunChris
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I crumpled to my side and watched Mom's breasts slowly press into the welcoming softness of the bed as her body languidly stretched out beside me. She turned her head towards me and smiled.
"That was quite a dream Chris," she said as she took my still somewhat erect cock in her hand. "Mm, I'm so relaxed and sleepy," she whispered as her eyelids drooped and closed. Within moments her breathing was soft and regular. She was asleep.
Little twitches of her fingers squeezed lightly against the circumference of my shaft as she slumbered. The sensation of her grip was a reminder of what I had nearly done. I shivered in reaction to the intense post-orgasmic sensitivity of my glans as it pulled across the little bumps of her encircling fingers. My cock slipped free of her hand. I took her cellphone, carefully rolled from the bed and quietly padded out of her bedroom.
The video file took only minutes to airdrop to both my cellphone and laptop. As soon as the transfer was complete I deleted the video I had covertly made of my mother and myself from her phone. Her little video, of Leah and me, I left intact. I returned to the master suite and replaced the phone by her side.
I regarded my mother's naked body as she slept. Her bum was covered with the drying issue of my ejaculation. Wet streaks of moisture disappeared into the crack between her ass cheeks. Pearlescent globs of my sperm clung to the prominent lips of her pussy. My cock stirred as I thought of how close I had come to pushing deep inside my mother's body. I had resisted the forbidden carnal urges. I had only run my cock through the groove formed by the plump folds of her labia. My hips involuntarily humped forward at the still fresh memory of being enveloped by the warmth of her soft wet pussy lips.
The conflicting fiction of my dreams had invaded reality. My internal dissonance churned in what was left of my crumbling pathetic morality. I wanted to take her. I wanted to feel the glove of her vagina around my shaft. I craved to fulfill the awakened subliminal urges of my dreams, but knew that I should not fuck my mother.
Sexually explicit dreams of my mother had plagued me since puberty. I think it is not uncommon for guys to have them. But mine have continued to occur. In retrospect, I suspect Mom is somewhat culpable in that I've been exposed to her nude sunbathing for years. I think she knew and enjoyed that I watched. I think she knew I masturbated too. I masturbated a lot. I dreamed a lot.
These erotic dreams have always provoked emotions of intense desire laced with anxiety. Seeing your mother naked is one thing, but touching her boobs, sticking your cock between her legs and fucking her is quite another, even when only in a dream.
I always experience a simultaneously running duel role in these erotic dreams of my mother, a separate observer-self and a dream-self. The observer-self monitors what dream-self is doing. Observer-self watches with growing horror as dream-self sets about fucking Mom with lusty intent and without a hint of guilt or remorse.
"Don't do this," observer-self commands impotently. Dream-self is totally oblivious to observer-self. Dream-self is always intent on the building tension and imminent explosion of an orgasm as he prepares to fuck dream-mom's pussy.
Sometimes dream-self prematurely ejaculates before actual penetration and remains asleep with a totally irrational feeling of humiliation laced with both disappointment and guilt. Observer-self views this with ambivalent relief and we remain asleep. We didn't fuck Mom.
Sometimes dream-self slowly explores dream-mom's body, fondling her breasts and toying with the folds of her pussy. In this slower version of the dream, observer-self experiences growing unease and intensifying feelings of guilt as dream-mom brings him close to orgasm with her hand. The nightmarish quality snaps them awake to leave awake-self in a cold sweat. No orgasm. We didn't fuck Mom.
Sometimes dream-self rushes rapidly towards full penetration of dream-moms pussy with an imminent anticipated orgasm about to explode. The tip of his cock feels the initial enveloping caress of her pussy as he begins to enter her opening; the sensation is overwhelmingly intense. Panic. Observer-self's horror jerks dream-self away prior to full insertion. We are always past the point of no return. Dream-self fights to stay in the dream. Failure. Observer-self always overcomes and leaves awake-self dealing with the mess of an always less than satisfactory orgasm. We didn't fuck Mom.
I was still beset by a wall of guilt. But the wall had some serious cracks and was obviously crumbling with my real world inappropriate interactions with Mom.
I was still conflicted to say the least.
I needed to talk to someone. I thought of Joe. He had on occasions participated with me in clandestinely watching my mom sunbathe in the nude. He has had a crush on Mom ever since I can remember. He always gushed about how sexy my Mom is. I know he must have masturbated thinking of her too. Gay? I never had any reason to suspect.
I went out back and called Joe.
"Hi Chris. I was wondering when I'd hear from you again. Still angry with me?" asked Joe.
"No. Just very confused and not sure what to say."
"Confused?"
"Yeah. How in the hell did I..., um..., not know..., uh..., you're gay?" I asked awkwardly.
"Because I'm not."
Surprised and somewhat irritated I asked, "Then why did Leah say you're gay?"
"It all started with the misunderstanding that day in our pool. That thing with Missy and you, and then with Leah and I, it got blown way out of proportion in her head."
"The kissing thing?"
"Yes. It was a silly misunderstanding on Leah's part. It became very clear when she asked me to go shopping the next day. She kissed me to get back at you for kissing Missy. She was obviously jealous of Missy."
"Yeah, yeah, Leah and I talked about that. I get it. But what has that got to do with you being gay?"
"Joel."
"Joel?"
"We ran into Joel at the mall. To make a long story short, it came out that I was dating Joel"
"I'm confused. That sounds like you're gay."
"Bi," Joe simply replied.
I was nonplussed. I'm not speechless very often, but I was speechless.
"I have a complex sex life," Joe interjected into my silence.
"No shit!" I exclaimed. "So Leah doesn't know that you're not gay?"
"No. I haven't seen or talked to her since. You've kept her all to yourself. Are you guys good?"
I took a deep breath and replied, "Yes. We talked it out. We're good."
"I like that girl a lot," said Joe, "She's very cool. Tell her hi and give her a big hug for me."
"I will when she gets back."
"Back? Where is she?"
"California with her parents. She'll be back in a couple of weeks."
"You must be bummed," Joe said sympathetically.
"Yes. I do miss her. Joe?"
"Yeah?"
"So Missy knows about Leah and me too?"
"Duh, yes. It was obvious within minutes."
"I guess we didn't hide it too well from anybody."
"Who else knows?" asked Joe.
