5. CONFESSION
After getting dressed, Kerri padded downstairs quietly, wishing she could stay with her father all night. Now that they were no longer alone, the long nights they'd spent together the previous summer seemed like even more of an indulgence. Their chances of getting any more such moments this trip were slim at best. Silently, she resigned herself to taking what she could get.
The house had only one spare bedroom -- the other had been changed into a makeshift storage space years ago -- and so Kerri knew that she and Kim would be bunking together, just as they used to when they were both younger. Even though road fatigue and the after-effects of adrenaline had left her light-headed and weary, she ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower. Kim might be a tad oblivious, but diving into bed next to her smelling of sex was not a chance she was willing to take.
She stripped off her clothes and showered, not bothering to wet her hair, and dried herself. When she returned, naked, to the bedroom, she found Kim curled up on the side of the bed that had traditionally been hers, knees drawn up against her chest, arms protruding off the side of the bed in the odd sleepy abandon that was Kim's trademark. Kerri slipped into the cool sheets on her own side, briefly wondering if sleeping in the nude next to her sister would be considered strange, then deciding she didn't care.
Kerri gazed out the window, still euphoric from their encounter upstairs. It was only going to get more difficult from here to find time with her dad. Even once had been risky, and she was uncertain she could even talk him into it a second time. She began to nod off, vague fantasies of locking Kim in a closet for a few hours running through her head.
"What were you two doing?"
Kim's voice instantly startled her back to wakefulness. "What?" she said, a little more nervously than she'd intended, and sat up.
Kim rolled over, her eyes half-open, and regarded her with a sleepy glare. "I heard a bunch of noise upstairs."
Kerri's throat closed. "You did?"
"I heard something thump."
Kerri thought of her knees hitting the hardwood floor as her father had pushed her down in front of him. Surely it couldn't have been that loud. Could it?
"You were just dreaming," she said, trying to keep her voice from quavering -- she felt like her heart had sprung up through her chest into her throat. "Go back to sleep."
Kim mumbled something incoherent and rolled onto her side again, then rolled back. "Are you naked?" she asked.
Kerri sighed. "Yes, I am."
"Weirdo," Kim said, and rolled away again. Within moments, her breath evened out into sleep again.
It was a long time before Kerri could doze off again.
# # #
By the time Kerri woke up the next day, sunlight was streaming through the window directly into her face. She sat up and found the bed empty apart from herself. She put on some clothes -- a blue tank top and jeans -- and ventured out of the bedroom.
She emerged into an empty house. The television and lights were off, and the living room was unoccupied. "Hello?" she called out, and met only with silence. Finding no one downstairs, she padded upstairs to the master bedroom, fearing for the briefest instant that Kim had unraveled the mystery and decided it was time to try to outdo Kerri, just like she did with everything else, that she would somehow find the two of them together, naked --
But no. The bed, and the bedroom, were empty. She was alone.
She walked back downstairs and peered out the kitchen window into the driveway. The truck was gone, the tire tracks it had left behind already filling up with falling snow.
So they'd gone without her. Without even telling her. A knot of resentment and anger formed in her stomach, and she decided to make herself breakfast to take her mind off the sudden feeling of abandonment.
Two hours later, as Kerri sat in front of the television, she heard the truck amble up the driveway. A few moments later, Kim and her father bustled into the house, carrying bags, both of them talking and laughing.
"Hey sis," Kim chirped.
She turned, trying not to glare. "Hey," she said. "Where were you two?"
"In town," Steve said, as if it were self-explanatory. "I had to make a parts run."
"To the hardware store?" Kerri asked. "Why didn't anybody tell me?"
Steve looked at her quizzically. "I told Kim to leave a note. Didn't you?"
Kim made a show of puzzlement so complete and detailed that Kerri instantly knew it was fake. "I thought I did," she said, scanning the empty kitchen counter as she shrugged off her coat. "Oh, wait a minute. I put it in my coat pocket by accident. I'm sorry." She gave Kerri a sympathetic look. An Oscar-winning performance all around.
"And yet, society trusts her enough to vote for the leader of our nation," Steve said.
Kim scoffed indignantly. "Shut up, dad!" she said, and gave him a playful push as he emptied the bags. Kerri saw that they'd hit the grocery store as well.
"No big deal," she said with a smile, then turned back to the television. She listened to Kim and her dad chatter happily until she couldn't take it anymore, and turned up the volume to drown them out.
# # #
The snow began falling in earnest, and Steve bundled up again and ventured outside to plow the driveway. Kerri tuned the television to some brain-dead movie, and tried not to pay attention as Kim wandered around the house.
After awhile, Kim disappeared into the upstairs, and Kerri did her best to try to stifle her own resentment. She was being silly. So the two of them had gotten a little alone time. Was that so unreasonable? Why did she feel so jealous about something as stupid as a trip to the hardware store? Why did she think of that store as somehow her territory, territory that Kim was blithely horning in on?
The whole thing was stupid and petty -- exactly the kind of feelings her younger sister seemed so capable of inspiring in her, often without even trying. Kerri tried to lose herself in the movie and forget about it.
After awhile, Kim flopped down next to Kerri on the couch, carrying an armful of books. Kerri glanced over and saw that they were the old family photo albums -- Kim had dug them out from their father's room upstairs.
"Do you want to look at these with me?" Kim asked, brushing her blonde hair out of her eyes. She drew her legs up underneath her and sat cross-legged, the first of the albums open on her lap.
"No thanks," Kerri said.
Kim shrugged and began leafing through the pages, making the occasional comment as she went. "Oh wow. Junior year. Look at you. You were so gorgeous. What happened?"
"Bite me," Kerri said.
"It's all that college binge drinking. Dries you out and makes you all leathery and haggard-"
"I can't help it, I have to drink to forget living under the same roof with you for sixteen years."
"Shut up," Kim said, not unkindly. "Oh my God, remember this? The Halloween I was into Sailor Jupiter? I looked awesome." She tilted the album so Kerri could see. Kerri gave it a passing glance.
"You looked like a pedo-bait microskank," she declared.
