a) Returning
Hello!
My name is Amber, and I am adding a little post-script to Andrew's, my cousin, story.
I knew the story of course, but I wasn't aware that he had written it down. It was his funeral last week, and I had sat down at his bureau to go through some paperwork, and rediscovered the hidden storage. So, I read his account, and thoughts; and decided to do this P.S.
With respect to his story - what I haven't lived, I heard about from Aunt Rebecca, or Mum and Uncle Tony, or even Nan. Or so I thought. But there was much I didn't know. 'Much', but just mostly subtle things, and mainly about the way Andrew saw things. And talking of that sort of thing: β Nan must have lived in semi-confusion as we grew up. I mean there was one pair of children calling her 'Mum', and we other pair calling her 'Aunty'; even though both pairs were (sort of) her grand-children.
*
Now! I suppose I should be honest with you all?
There's been some big changes in our family.
One of the largest is that Ray and I got divorced. I know that I now stand before you (metaphorically, at least) in an apparent situation of double-standards; and indeed, appear to have lived such a life. I divorced him because of his infidelity. However, I have NEVER cheated on him - EVER. Not even with Jobey or the cousins!
He was shagging his secretary. And 'No' she was no blonde mini-skirted bimbo, but a 'raven haired temptress' (his words), and nearly as old as him.
And he was also shagging the manageress of the branch office for the Midland Region, behind his secretary's back.
The two kids elected to live with Ray, of all things; because they felt that having affairs with two women, when he was married to me, was less objectionable than me having sex with my cousin (Tommy) when we were young and single. Just as well they didn't know about the rest of it. At that time.
So, I moved out, and left my house and home to them.
And moved back in with Mum and Andrew.
Anyway, Mum and Andy were happy for me to move back in with them. I've always got on very well with Mum, as well as love her. For a mother, she has always been so understanding. Although, I must admit that often, she has this dubious sense of humour - as witnessed by her comments when Andy, Jobey and I got back from Nan's, after outing them all. I've generally also got along well with Andy, despite his Dad complex; and the way he used to watch my legs, any chance he had of seeing them without trousers.
Oops! That sounds a little risquΓ©, I know; but what I mean is - that he was nearly as fascinated by my legs as he was with Mum's. He'd often said that her legs were the first things that attracted him to her. He was just old fashioned enough to love my legs while I wore skirts or dresses.
*
Sorry, but a little Note here: -
I have just sat and proof-read the above paragraphs that I wrote earlier today, and have realised that I have spoken of 'Andy, my cousin'. This, I have realised is ridiculous, as the sections preceding mine, make it clear that 'Andy' is my Father. Having pondered on this, I decided that I will not change what I have already written, and to add this note, as an illustration to you about the way I have lived, concealing the details of my brother's and my half-brother's and half-sister's origins. But from here-on-in, I will use 'Dad' - my wonderful Dad!
*
So! Amy and Tommy are still in happy marriages. Jobey is now widowed - cancer.
b) Anniversary Celebrations
And the reason I have lived these aforementioned 'double-standards'?
I have slept with, and had sex with, both my Mum and Dad. And I don't mean while drunk, but when I (we) were stone-cold sober!
Yes, that bald statement seems to present the situation in a harsh light, and brings up images of wanton debauchery.
But it never
felt
like that. It always seemed so relaxed, and warming and comforting. There was never an occasion that I slept with Mum and or Dad - that it ever felt wrong, or dirty in anyway. I was never coerced or blackmailed. I never coerced or blackmailed them into 'lewd acts'.
I loved my Mum and Dad, and the sex was just another way of sharing that love. Mum has said that both she and Dad regarded it as exactly that - sharing their love, with me.
*
And this is how it started:
I had been staying with them for about six months, with nothing untoward happening. But my wedding anniversary was approaching, and I was feeling pretty mixed up about things.
I hoped to get out on the evening of the anniversary itself with some old school-friends and neighbours. I didn't want to get the other three embroiled in anything, so they never got an invite. But in the end, it became a non-event. Those that at first indicated they were interested, or at least willing to go, dropped to being four (besides me).
Then Allison Jones and Ruth Bibby (the 'Furley Sisters') dropped out because their kids had attended a birthday party, and virtually all the kids came down with some sort of food poisoning.
Then Gail had to cancel, as she pranged her car, and that made getting to Mum and Dad's a no-go, despite Dad's offer to collect her, and take her home the next day.
Bella was On-Call for backup Paramedic, and had to go in because the duty Paramedic got bogged down at a minor disaster, where quite a number of people sustained injuries. (But nothing to do with Gail's prang.)
Then that left me.
Mum and Dad could see how disappointed and upset I was, so they volunteered to come with me.