It was the knock on the front door that gave her away: three light taps; as if she used her pretty pink and turquoise painted fingernails. I threw on my t-shirt and rose from the living room recliner, my heart pounding like a freight train that was barreling toward a certain demise. I thought of that night and the nights of pure passion that had come after. It had been so long since I'd held her, felt her, smelled her, and tasted ... everything. She'd chosen a girlfriend over me, her father, this, I understood, but never came to terms with.
When I opened the front door, there she was, as beautiful as the day I'd first laid eyes on her, and as delightfully unkempt as the day she'd decided to leave me. Holly Marie, my gorgeous eighteen-year-old daughter, stood before me, drenched and dripping from the rain nearly head to toe, her long brunette hair a mess, stuck to her forehead, her shoulders, and her thin upper arms. The day's cool mist came off her maternal form with a mix of her Maui shampoo and her sweet, dreamy, warm coconut and violet perfume. God how I had missed that scent, that draw, her glamour.
I felt my muscles tighten; my bulge lifted as it always had in her presence, that tension and conflict somehow rising in my throat. She looked older and younger all at the same time, like she'd seen too much, and was alone for too long. Guilt clutched hold of my chest and squeezed.
"Jesus, Baby, did you walk here?" I asked, scooting her inside with delicate ease.
"Just a few blocks." She set down her bag on the floor and I pulled her into my arms. For six months I went without her warmth, her skin, her charm, her growing baby bump--the slope of that under-curve that now inadvertently dragged across my cock as I held her--those eyes looking at me like I was her hero. I was more than relieved when her arms wrapped around me--as best they could in her condition--and I felt her fingers clench my back.
"Out of options?" I asked.
"I tried, Dad. And you don't need to judge. Out of money. Out of work." She pulled back.
"I'm not judging, Holly. I'm hoping. A man's pregnant little girl shows back up at his door and ... just tell me you're okay."
She looked into my eyes; she'd been here five seconds and I'd already said too much.
"I don't know why you left in the first place," I added.
"You know why," she said, directing my attention back down to her protruding belly. "It's a girl, in case you were wondering." She moved my hand to her ample bump and the heat from within her radiated hope, love, and family. My family. Our family. My hand instinctively caressed her, dropping below her navel as a light kick poked my fingertips.
"Her name is Emma. Emma Jade."
"That's beautiful, Holly," I said with a smile. "You did good. She's going to be perfect just like her mother."
With a shiver from my girl, I closed the front door and grabbed her hand, and as our fingers interlaced I guided her to the bathroom. "I've been wondering about the baby every minute since you left." I picked up a clean towel and wiped her face gently. "Did I fuck this whole thing up?" I asked. "You and me, I mean..."
"Never." She took a deep breath and changed the subject. "Everything looks good. The doctors say she's very healthy." Holly caressed her tummy. "And she's very active already." Then that familiar pouty expression of hers hit me with everything it had, everything it always had. "Can we stay, Daddy?"
With this, I nearly melted. Relief hit me like a sucker punch to the chest. I'd spent six months pretending I could live without her, convincing myself she was better off gone--even as every empty room in this house whispered her name. And now she was here, asking to stay. Needing me. It wasn't just a second chance--it was redemption wrapped in her voice, trembling and sweet. I wanted to hold her and never let go. I wanted to keep her safe. I wanted... everything. "Of course, you can stay. As long as you need." I kissed her forehead. "Tell me what you need right now, Baby."
"A shower and we need some dinner. I need to pay some bills, lost my phone. Can I use yours?" she asked.
"I'll take care of everything. You take care of yourself and that little one. I don't want you worrying about anything."
"Thank you, Daddy." She smiled and it was so familiar I almost stumbled.
I paid her bills, put her credit card balance back to zero and I cooked her a hot meal. We made her bed with extra blankets and put nightlights in her room, the hallway, and the bathroom. I had my baby returned to me and this time, she wasn't going anywhere.
***
It was 2AM when the house felt most alive in its stillness. No traffic. The clocks ticking loud enough to notice. The hum of night pressed in from all sides. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the kind of silence around me that held its breath, the kind that made you believe anything could happen. Hope curled in my gut like smoke. Regret hung beside it. Then I heard it--the soft shift of footsteps, the almost inaudible creak of a door, my bedroom door. And suddenly, the possibility wasn't just a dream anymore. It was her.
I'd only slept a few hours, maybe, but I found Holly with tears in her eyes, standing over me, her big bump nearly brushing my left cheek. I sat up and reached for the lamp but she stopped me.
"Don't," she whispered. "I'm a mess. I don't want you to see me like this."
"Baby there's nightlights everywhere. I can see ..."
"Pretend you don't."
"What's going on? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" I asked.
"She's fine." Holly's voice was a few octaves too high. "I'm just having a hard time."