The opening salvoes foretold the coming battle between what is acceptable behavior and what is deviant. I know full well what is acceptable and what is deviant. I am an academic doctor and teach students to weigh what is acceptable against what is unacceptable when making decisions. In my private life, however, I find myself leaning to the deviant.
What were the opening salvoes and why did have such a foretelling? I have never shrunk from the enjoyment of sex. Over the years, I've experimented with straight sex, tried gay a couple times, got into groups, and generally committed multiple forms of debauchery.
Yet, I was always able to separate my personal habits from my public professional persona until a recent encounter that surprised me. I was about to break the ultimate rule of teacher/student ethics.
One of my students is an extremely petite female, 19 years old. She is short, about five feet one inch and probably weighs a staggering 95 pounds. She is a distance runner; her body is lean and tight. Her body has cute female curves that look more like a tween girl going through puberty than an adult. Her small frame supports tiny breasts that I guess were not more that 28A cups. Her tiny waist couldn't be larger than 22. Her hips held well-formed globes of tight young butt. She had runner?s legs, slender and limber while being firm and shapely. She sat in the front row directly in front of the podium. Her eyes followed me as I worked the classroom. She was a good note taker as well.
Now that the weather is warming from the cold winter, Maggie is wearing more spring-like clothing that gets more revealing as temperatures rise. Try as I might, I cannot keep my gaze on the class.
Today, she showed up in class in her running shorts and warm-up jersey. I swear she intentionally showed glimpses of her white cotton panty at the juncture of you're going to hell if you keep looking. Hell, I looked.
I have to admit the truth; I am not a unique specimen of the male gender. I'm in my late forties and my athletic physique disappeared years ago. The most exercise I get is walking across a parking lot, unless curling a beer can is considered exercise. I'm not fat but my body curves outward at the waist and inward at the chest. If I have one redeeming quality, I have a strong libido. Even my ex wife is still a friend with benefits.
After class today, Maggie stayed behind with a couple questions about the difference between what is acceptable behavior with in different parameters. "Give me an example of what you mean, Maggie," I enquired.
She referred to a diagram I drew on the dry writer. "You said that within these lines is behavior society finds acceptable and what occurs outside the lines is usually considered deviant. What if two adults consent to something that society considers acceptable, how can it be deviant?"
"Maggie, you are being too vague. What exactly are you asking?" I feared her answer and anticipated it nonetheless.
"Say, a student and a teacher get involved with each other. If they are both adult, what' the issue? Why is that deviant?"
"I think you are linking deviant with unethical. If they are both consenting adults and there is no harm done, it wouldn't be deviant. However, the biggie is the ethical nature of their relationship. As long as one is a student and the other is a university professor, there is violation of acceptable ethical behavior. When violating acceptable ethical behavior even within the parameters of what others consider acceptable, it creates an atmosphere in which other students may conclude that one student gets better treatment. If the people involved were not teacher and student, well then, their relationship might be acceptable to society."
"So," Maggie continued, "suppose that you have a student who wants more from a professor than an education, that would be unethical and deviant?"
"Yes, that's the down and dirty, Maggie." I thought she would leave it there as she spun to leave. Then she turned back.
"So, Paul," she used my first name rather than my professional title, "was it deviant for me to give you some panty shots during class? I know you looked."
"Maggie, I won't go down this road with you. As long as you are a student here and I am an employee, neither of us will know the answer to your question."
The term ended as late spring warmth heated the atmosphere. The piles of winter clothing gave way to far less covering and classroom distractions everywhere. Maggie kept her distance and kept her shows of sexuality to a minimum.
With the last classes done and summer break on the horizon, Maggie came up after the last class period with a simple message, "I'm transferring to LaPlatte next semester. I'm not a student here any longer."
Her message was a simple continuation of the conversation we had a few weeks ago and I interpreted it just as she meant it. "Show me your transfer paperwork and acceptance." I was ready to take a risk never taken before.
Indeed, Maggie had transferred. "Is this move part of the discussion we had about deviant versus acceptable behavior, Maggie?" I was rather certain the answer would be the affirmative and Maggie confirmed it was.
"Maggie, I am 43 and you are 19. You are young and fit and I am neither of those. What do you hope to gain from any kind of relationship with me?" I knew I could satisfy her sexually, that wasn't even on the radar. I wanted her to tell me what she wanted
"Do you think I don't know the age difference? The one thing I want is to know how a man makes love. My ex boyfriend was my first and even though he tried to satisfy me, he didn't. I've never had an orgasm."
It seemed she was talking to a counselor about a medical problem rather than sizing up a new lover. "Maggie, you should talk with your guy and tell him what you want, what makes you feel good, what gets you off. I'm sure there is a lucky guy waiting for you to appear. I'm more like a father than a guy appearing to take you away."
Maggie edged closer and whispered, "Paul, I know what I want and it is you. And, I think you want me." She emphasized her point by stroking my arm and brushing her hand overtly over my crotch. "I'm not your student any longer."
No, she wasn't my student any longer and her runner?s body made me aware that she was made to go the distance. My inhibitions were slipping away and her stroke of my arm and my crotch took me over edge. We set a date for Friday evening and all weekend if it happened.
I prepared for the date thinking that a simple supper at a local pub would set something of a mood that we could follow up on at my cabin. Maggie dashed those plans when she arrived.
"Paul, I can't wait to find out what making love is supposed to feel like. Touch me, please." She was pleading for sex and knowing she had only one boyfriend before me made me worry.
I scooped her into my arms and kissed her forcefully. The strength of my grip on her and depth of the kiss alarmed me, this could be rape. But Maggie had a surprise for me, her loose fitting clothing fell from her body to expose herself completely naked.
Her small breasts were capped by cute little nipples no larger than a period at the end of a sentence. They were stiff and swollen. I gazed at her body in complete awe. If I didn't know her age, she could pass for 13 not 19.
Her body was firm as I expected a runner?s body to be. Her stomach sported the makings of strong abs and her hips had a natural flare that emphasized her tight butt cheeks. What got me was her cute little camel toe covered by thin silky blond hair. Yes, I took an instant rise.
