Diablerie Ch 14 Baneberry

"Hey sweetie! I got-" I tried to see what was going on but looked up from my grocery bag to find Tamara's laptop closing with a smack. Her pants were at her ankles and her fingers still covered in the cum she tried desperately to wipe off.

"Gabby I'm so sorry!" She clamped her hand over her mouth as tears formed and one of her hands yanked at her pants to try and put them back on.

She had never been with anyone and been caught watching porn so I tried to think quickly. Setting down my things I put my hands up and turned away. "Hey sweetie, it's okay. If you feel embarrassed feel free to get comfortable first okay? I promise I'm not angry." I could hear her pulling her clothes on and then quickly putting her laptop back into its bag. She rushed over and turned me back to her with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, please don't be mad!" She had tears in her eyes that were beginning to fall as she begged and wrapped her arms around me. "I won't do it again!"

I hugged her and we sank to the floor by the door as I rocked her back and forth while kissing the top of her head. She shook and experienced all of her usual signs of a trigger that touched on hard memories. After some time she was ready to look up in my eyes as I kissed her and her fingers that still had cum on them. She looked scared and embarrassed as I did it but I only nuzzled her closer. "Nothing you've done is wrong. You're fully welcome to masturbate, to watch and indulge in whatever kind of porn you like."

"I should have saved it for you." She muttered as she shook her head in regret.

"No my love. Youre welcome to turn down sex at any time, and you can always tell me if you'd rather masturbate. I know you haven't heard this before so I'll make sure I say it as often as you need. Your sexuality is yours to express when and how you please. you didn't hurt or upset or disappoint me in any way." I kissed her fingers again. "I'm sorry I walked in and scared you so bad. This must feel pretty new."

Tamara nodded and buried her face in my chest as the emotions poured out through her trembling and occasional tears. "I know this may sound really off or crazy but my head keeps yelling it at me." I looked and nodded for her to say whatever she needed to. "When I watch porn...I'm not letting down my future am I?"

Looking deep into her eyes I could almost hear the horrors that haunted her play out. "No. Not in the slightest. Your future is absolutely the same as it was before you masturbated, and I dont think differently of you." Kissing her head a few more times, I smiled and stroked her cheek. "You're doing so good by letting out those words in your head."

She couldn't find comfort in standing for a little bit, and when she did she asked if we could go right to the shower. I watched as she ran the water hot and scrubbed savagely at her skin, taking the loofa from her and slowly making sure she was clean.

Whatever else was cursing her internally was hidden by her for the rest of the night as she snored gently in my arms, her mind and body worn from the heavy experience. I sat awake and tried my best to not picture her suffering, but my last glance at the clock was hours later that night.

Tamara pressed her lips to my neck a few times to get me to stir awake. We had slept until almost three but I still wanted more and groaned back at her. "I need a few more kisses before I'm willing to get up." She leaned over with a smile and kissed me. "Wait, I need another please." I said with a small smile. She rolled back over to plant another on my lips and I grinned to ask again. "Can I have another?" She started giggling so I wrapped her up in my arms and rolled us over to be on top. "Good morning, beautiful." Tamara looked at me between her strands of hair with a rosy smile.

"Gabby. Thank you for last night. I didn't mean to freak you out." I put a finger to her lips and shook my head.

"Your pain or recovery from your experiences isn't something to feel bad for. Is there anything I can do moving forward to help you with comfort in watching the material you like?" I avoided the word so she didn't have the same response as before.

"I'd just like to ask you sometimes to make sure if that's okay." She looked nervous to even express that and nodding I kissed her forehead.

"Of course. Anytime you feel comfortable feel free to ask, but the answer will always be yes." We kissed for a few more minutes before I had an idea. "You wanna go to the park today?"

"That sounds really nice." She stood and started to grab her clothing but I jumped up and tucked my hands together to beg.

"Can you please wear that beautiful skirt you got when we got back to Washington? You haven't worn it except for trying it on in the store, but you look so cute." I pressed my hands together and waited as her lips curled into a cute smile. She nodded and grabbed it out of the closet. The high amount of sexual contact that Tamara craved was starting to rub off on me and I already had plots in my head of how to play with her in that skirt, or what color the skirt might take when soaked in her cum. Taking her hands when she was dressed I pulled her close like a dance partner.

"There she is." Kissing her she stood on her toes and bounced happily on the balls of her feet. "Come on gorgeous, we've deprived the world of your beauty."

Wandering out into the fog that swept over the city mid day, we held hands tightly; my eyes unable to keep away from her legs and how her skin looked in the light. I thought about how to mark the insides of her thighs so when she walked people could see how I purpled her. The thoughts were invasive and quickly I regretted leaving the house. Tamara and I had few days during the week that we were between each others legs, fulfilling the sort of dramatic enhanced idea of what a lesbian relationship was like to the straight community.

Still, without spending too much time dating I was hungry to keep her by my side and in my heart. Controlling myself was a quickly dwindling resource. She had captured this unawakened side of having a burning warmth for another girl and the way it lit up my world, our contact was sacred, and left me hazy on how to act like an adult. Tamara and I stopped at a favorite little stand for food, and munched as we sat on a bench nearby, the dingy grey sky keeping everything we did in a solemn haze.

Twenty minutes away from our dorm we rounded a corner and across the street was a park that had a few secluded spots in it, where taking her hand I led her urgently to one that had cover from multiple angles. She was looking at me confused and worried with how quickly I walked.

"What's going on Gabby?" She asked.

"Please, please sit with me." As she started to sit I pulled her into my lap and there she noticed how heavily I was breathing.

"Did the walk wear you out already?" She put her hand to my chest but shifted before she realized the bump she was sitting on wasn't the fabric of my jeans. "Oh! Did you want to go back?"

Shaking my head I started to kiss her with spit running over the side of my mouth. "What the hell have you done to me?" I asked and begged, panting. "I need you."

"Gabby, we're in public!" As she looked around we could both see there were people who weren't very far off, but I was confident they wouldn't see what we could do. Groping her breasts she let out a squeaking moan and then covered her mouth. "We're gonna get caught!"

I bit gently at her neck with my breath deeply distorted from arousal. She turned red and half looked away. "What are you safe words then?" I asked as I groped her body.

"Mistress..." She pleaded.

"I dont think thats it." I joked, grabbing her breasts harder.

"Catharsis for red, velvet for yellow." She mumbled.

"Good girl." I said, kissing at any bare skin I could reach.

Running one of my hands down her legs while she blushed, I separated her knees and sent a finger along the inside of her thigh. "It's okay sweetie. I won't tell anyone how much you like this." She was curled in the perfect size ball and letting her close her legs so she could get ever smaller, I sent my hand around the side of her and found wet drips spreading outside onto her ass. Reaching and dragging a finger to show her I found them, I gasped softly. "What's this?" Crawling my fingers towards her pussy I found the lips that were steadily leaking long strands of grool.

She bit her lip and tried to hide her face by burying it into my neck but the strand that covered my finger was sliding across her labia as I pulled my finger away. Little gasped moans and whimpering accompanied her breath on my collarbone. The traveling fingers of Tamara found my hand that had spread her lips, her hand sitting on top of mine with little twitches running through it when the strokes of her clitoris shot through her. No one in the park had even noticed her legs were open and her pussy being touched by the breeze running through the trees. She shuddered each time the wind brushed across her dripping cum and made the warmth of her body pulse and fight her rising moans.

Pushing two fingers inside and curving them against the mound that was covered in nervous chills, her cum was now dripping into the wood of the bench. "Shhh baby, you know that gorgeous slit needs to be touched even when we're out in the open. Let me help you so we can walk home without your legs all dirty. You get worked up and then drip and it's too noticeable. We can keep this our secret little spot." My thumb pushed against and circled her clit. "This is my little spot though." Flicking it against the pad of my thumb slowly her legs trembled and her panties now freely let her cum flow through and stain the bench. She panted out into my neck and kissed in begging cries for me.

"Miss please, please don't make me get loud right here." I pressed my hand that wasn't enveloping her pussy to her mouth, and then looked directly into her eyes as I continued to thumb her clit. She looked around with panic at the field to see if someone might be nearby, but with a slow motion I directed her back to my eyeline.

"I won't tell anyone, and you can clean my fingers right after. Then all the way home no one will even guess that your sweet, pink, warm, little hole left its taste all over." Her eyes widened and filled up with embarrassed tears as the red in her face flushed harder. "Faster you cum sweetie, the less chance you have of some other girl seeing you. Is that how you want our school to find out before we go?" She shook her head and whimpered under my hand. I grinned and added a higher pitch to my tone, imagining how people would react.

"I always wondered, she's so quiet. There was all that noise coming from her room and then she got caught in the part with her breasts out, and someone's hand sneaking into her skirt." Her shirt that was barely to the top of her breasts bobbed when she shivered and shook. Seeing her embarrassed look start to push her further into aching distress, I whispered into her ear. "I heard she needs to be played with every day, and she doesn't care if people watch. I bet if you searched online you'd find that account she has where she let's an older man cum in her all the time."

"No one found it!" She called out with a plea in her voice. She looked vulnerable and brimming with terror as she bit her lips, trying not to open her mouth with a response.

"If I go home and open up that laptop, am I gonna find some more girls on your screen? Something you're scared to say would push you over the edge into being my little dirty goddess?" Imagining her hidden secret and preying on her heavily rising chest, she exhausted muffled screams into my fingers. The large squirting streams that her pussy gave slipped past my fingers and soaked the bench entirely where we sat. Stroking her clit faster I leaned in so my mouth was at her ear neither of us even checking the park like we were in the safety of the dorm. "You just might have to clean all this up." The coy whisper made her knees weak and they shook as wave after wave of her jolting orgasms struck all the nerves connected to her pussy like lightning shot through it. Biting at her ear I raised my messy fingers to her mouth to cleanse them with her tongue one by one.

Each knuckle had her cum soaked into the lines, and my fingers took her more than a few licks to clean each one. As she licked the strands up they spilled over onto her lips and chin, and my other hand helped guide them back into her mouth. "Mistress you're not really gonna make me clean the bench are you?"

"No of course not, good girl. You can help that your pussy makes a big mess every time I play with it. I bet all of your pants have stains of your cum in them." I gave her a wicked smile as she finished licking up her mess, turning in my lap to french kiss me. No one had even come close to seeing us in the park but the thrill of danger had my body on fire. Part of me wanted a blowjob on the bench, and another part wanted to slip inside her.

Her reward was handed out in gentle strokes up and down her thighs with my fingers once her panties were pulled back up. Giving her light pats to the front of her pussy made her turn even redder and then she looked at me in fear. "You didn't actually see the porn I was watching did you?"

"No. I figure you would tell me when and if you felt ready. Everyone deserves time to come out of their shell." She sighed with relief and nodded. "Did I go too far?"

She curled back into a ball in my arms so her panties were not exposed and looked into my eyes. "No it's ok...I was mostly scared you knew what I was looking at earlier. And you aren't mad that I was watching porn?"

She hadn't had any opportunities to express her kinks and enjoy them in her free time. "Sweetie. You can watch porn any time you want and anything that you want to watch. Do you want to get out of here?"

With Tamara nodding heavily I stood and held out my hands for her to grab, her legs shaking as they unfurled. She stood like a newborn deer and looked over the park where no one had seen her vibrant and heavy orgasm. Together, it was a short walk home with both of us constantly worried we smelled like sex from a mile away.

Stopping every minute or so, I kissed her on the cheek and reminded her that not only that she did good, but that her privacy and comfort was more important than someone elses feelings. Tamara blushed each time, her eyes at first unable to leave the concrete. When we reached the room again she stripped off the soaked clothes and changed into new ones, grabbing a beer and passing me one. We sat smiling for a bit as we enjoyed the new experience.

Tamara ranted and raved about how close someone would have to be to see what she was doing, and how she wouldnt know what to say if we got caught. She went over places she might like to try more public play quickly, as if they places might be forewarned for her interest. Kissing, sipping, laughing, and cuddling, we let the day drip by like the rain on the windows. By six pm she seemed more comfortable in her skin again.

"Hey Gabby, I wanna ask you something." She tapped the side of her drink in contemplation. I nodded at her and waved a hand for her to ask, and she tried to think of how to phrase it. "When you had come out as trans and before you realized you were in love with Evan, what kind of porn did you watch?"

Polishing my beer off and tossing it lightly into the recycling bin, I cracked another on my end table and looked back at her. "Well...I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but I had a lot of enjoyment out of really rough and hardcore porn with trans women. It was nice to see girls who looked like me in porn. I always had a thing for excessive cum play. Trans girls getting played with in public, and a huge amount of lesbian porn. I...had a big interest in being...knocked up. Sometimes the hardest part of transition was not being able to have kids like a cis woman. There was this big section of my time where I strictly wanted to see trans girls who could cum without touching their clit."

Tamara was still looking at me with a fearful and hesitant glance. I wrapped her in my arms and took a deep breath. "Then I got onto my incest kick. I haven't touched much porn that didn't include it since." She thought for a minute after I said it.

"I never really watched it until I got out on my own." She looked deeply ashamed. "I'm still learning what all is out there."

"Before I came out I usually liked porn where I could easily supplant myself as the femme. Female POV is really nice for that. Of course I had a few partners who felt like my enjoyment of any porn was some kind of statement on our relationship. That's why I'm gonna always say yes and encourage you to look at what you like."

She thought for a while with her lower lip rolling across her teeth. "How did you know I liked public play?"

Looking out the window I shrugged. "Despite how new you are to coming out, you kissed me like there wasn't a thing in the world bothering you at breakfast. There was the cop seeing us back when we were in Oregon, and the way you reacted to Katey coming to the door the other day. It wasn't just dirty talk. You seem to take on a new light and kick into a gear that pays off more when you're done. I mean hell, all we did was have sex today, and the park seems to have left you satisfied for the time being."

"Am I usually unsatified?" With a furrowed brow she frowned. "Should I have been less sexual?"

I shook my head. "I'm a grown ass woman, I can say no if I don't want to make love to you. You just have a very high libido. I can relate so its not a problem, and I think the more comfortable you get, the less you try to rely on the sex for a mood boost.

At this she perked right up and her outlook flipped as she started turning gears nervously, unable to look me in the eyes. "You feel like it's making love even if we do weird or perverted things?"

Crawling forward on my knees and setting the beer off to the side, I cupped her face in my hands. "Just because we get slutty or kinky it doesn't make it less of an expression of my care for you. If I couldn't hold you every day and give you the kind of warmth you deserve I'd be devastated. God and the way you look at me." She looked confused under her flowing red blush.

"You say that you have this way of exploring love or sex with us that's so safe and new. There's no way to tell you and Evan the fulfillment, the hope, the fucking pride you two get in your eyes when you see even a glimmer of how great you are. I get to stand in the shadow of a self realizing beautiful being who makes mistakes, jumps bravely after their wants, or for you Tamara you fight this trauma and fear every day." I polished my beer and set it back to the side. "I don't have the balls for that and I was born with 'em."

"Making me sound like some kind of goddess." She mumbled.

"Oh you're divine alright. but you make mistakes, you're flawed and growing back towards the sun. I'm thankful to get to help." I paused and thought about Evan's hope for Tamara to reach out and ask if she needed.

"I'm scared if you tell me stuff like that I'll get some insane ego and forget my flaws." Tamara mumbled.

"I kinda doubt it. You deserve plenty of love to grow."

"Do you think in a few years I could be like you Gabby?" She looked at me like a child, and the bittersweet emotions flooded my eyes.

"Better than. You're gonna use your degree for something amazing, you're gonna gave all the partners you ever want, and youre gonna be able to go anywhere you please without fear." I said it all with a hand on her cheek, truly believing that with time and work Tamara could outshine me incredibly.

"I dont think math degrees do that, thats just what they put on the brochere." She smiled. "Thank you."