The covers had been pushed back. I guess by my daughter's bare feet. She lay there, awake but lazily, fully exposed, naked.
I too was naked as I headed off to the bathroom, directly opposite the bed, to pee and to upbraid myself. I'd just fucked my own daughter! For the second time in, what, nine hours? Was I insane? Sick in the head?
After peeing I splashed cold water on my face. It helped, a little. Not much but a little. My balls ached. I wasn't used to having sex this frequently anymore.
But wait a minute, I thought. This wasn't my ex-wife--her mother--or some woman I'd met at the office or in a bar. This was my own 24-year-old daughter!
"We can never do this again," I told her, upon my return, standing over her naked body in the bed, perhaps dripping urine. "Ever."
"That's what you said last night," she yawned.
"No, I mean it. It's wrong. It's..."
"Why's it wrong?" she said in the same lazy voice.
"Because. It's incest. It's..." The words, the rationale, escaped me at the moment.
"Daddy," she countered. "It's just two people who love each other giving pleasure to one another. Get over it."
"If your mother ever found out..."
"Fuck mom. She's three thousand miles away with her...motorcycle friend. Some asshole who's barely older than me."
"Don't blame her."
"Fuck her."
"I'm just saying..."
"Who's gonna tell her? You? I'm not."
My daughter's breasts were just like her mother's when she was 24. Or so. Soft, pliable. Drooping downwards a little. Slightly larger, perhaps. C cups but...
Little did my daughter know that one night I'd gone in her old downstairs bedroom and dressed up in the underwear she'd left behind. After college. After grad school. The bra was too short for my back so I'd rigged it up with her black hair bands. I'd put on lipstick; make up. I'd smiled at myself in her mirror.
And now I stood over her, sober unlike that night, and naked, having just inseminated her for the second time.
"You could get pregnant...," I argued.
A roll of her mother's brown eyes. "No I can't. I'm on the pill."
"It's not infallible."
"Then you should wear a condom." Not..."you should have" but you should. Future tense. Or whatever.
"No. We can never do this again. OK? It...happened. It happened and..."
"Oh relax, dad. I'm not an animal. Livestock I mean. Breeding. I'm a human being on the pill and I can't get pregnant. And even if I did..."