We piled into the car and drove home to Granny's house. It was quiet in the house, and we didn't want to wake anyone up, so we sat on the back verandah. The afternoon had become quite warm, so I got us all cold drinks and brought them out.
We sat in comfortable silence for a while, just listening to the sounds of the neighbourhood. After a while, Susie turned to Mum and put one hand on hers.
"What are you going to do, Beth?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... Well, when the inevitable happens. When your Mum passes away."
There was a long silence as she thought about it before she let out a long sigh.
"I don't know for sure. I had planned on staying here. Getting a job somewhere and starting again. At least I will have a home, one that has always felt like a home too."
Susie nodded.
"You're not thinking about selling and going somewhere else?"
"I guess it's a possibility eventually, but no. I love it here. It's the home I grew up in, and I like the area. I have so many good memories here. I don't have a desire to leave. Even if I can afford to travel at some point in the future, I think I would still keep this place."
They each seemed to think about it some more, then Mum turned to Susie.
"So what about you? Everything has changed for you too. What are you going to do now?"
"I guess I need to go and spend some time with my mom. Try and rebuild that
burnt bridge."
Mum nodded solemnly.
"I know it's not the same as my situation, but I really do think that it's something you should at least try to do. If it doesn't work out, then you will always know that you tried. You were the one to make the effort, and you did all you could to remedy the situation. It's up to her to make the effort to reciprocate. You never know; she might be a lot more willing without the constant negative influence of your dad around."
"I know it's not nice to say this, but that doesn't make it any less true. I'm glad that asshole is dead. I hate him for everything he did, and I will never forgive him. It's not the affairs that bother me. Sex is just human nature, and we are all beholden to it in one way or another. It's the blatant hypocrisy and the abuse of Mum and me that I hate him for. The way he held us down and threatened us if we showed the slightest hint of independence. The way he denied us love, the love of a sane family, the chance for Mum and I to develop a normal mother/daughter relationship. Shit, he even tried to deny us the ability to love ourselves. Constantly telling us that any form of self-love was evil, but especially the physical kind. He was constantly harping on about the evils of masturbation. Funny considering he was such an epic wanker."
"I hope your Mum comes around and at least tries to make some kind of a relationship with you."
"I think she wants to. She seemed to want to say some things when I was dropping the bus off, but to be honest, at that point, I wasn't very receptive. I just wanted, no, I needed to get here, and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I will try, but I'm not holding out too much hope."
"All you can do is try. Just remember, she has had a lifetime of conditioning, and it is going to take a bit to get through that."
"If she's still going to that church, then I don't see her getting past that, to be honest. We'll see, I guess. As you said, all I can do is try."
Again, there was a long pause as we all thought about our own situations. It was such a nice evening that it was easy to just sit there and enjoy the relative quiet and the cool drinks.
My thoughts turned to dinner when my stomach began to rumble. I thought about what food we had in the fridge and came to the conclusion that the only thing I could make that was even remotely better than a peanut butter sandwich with the ingredients we had was a basic omelette. Even though we had gone shopping just this morning, most of the protein we had got was now in the freezer. I asked if they were hungry, and that seemed to awaken them to the fact that it was getting later.
"Do you feel like anything in particular?"
I knew this was Mum's way of suggesting that we go out somewhere because she didn't feel like cooking.
"Not particularly. I can make us an omelette like we discussed this morning if you want, but we don't have all that much in the fridge at the moment."
"I should have gotten something out of the freezer this morning."
"I could defrost something in the microwave."
"Yuck. I hate nuked meat."
Susie chuckled and nudged her with her elbow.
"You always did prefer your meat fresh."
"You were as partial to fresh meat as anyone I ever knew."
They both giggled like schoolgirls, and it made me smile. Susie looked at the time on her phone.
"What are the chances of getting a seat at a restaurant?"
"It's the holiday season."
"Shit. I keep forgetting what it's like here during the holidays. Absolute madness."
"Ahh, it'll all settle down after this weekend when they all bugger off back home."
"Yeah, man, I would hate to be driving my bus out of here that weekend."
