A couple of years ago I moved from New York City back to small town Iowa, to the town where I'd grown up. I'm a divorce lawyer, and I made a fortune in New York representing rich women whose husbands were leaving them for younger pieces of ass but hadn't had the foresight to sign a prenuptial agreement. Those rich women were very grateful for the financial independence I secured for them for them, and in addition to being paid well, I'd ended up in bed with more than a few.
I'd never married after law school, enjoying the variety of different women too much and knowing that I could never do right by just one for the rest of my life. But as I turned thirty I really felt something missing. I'd loved New York but I began to miss my family. My mother and father were still alive and they still lived in the house I'd grown up in. My two brothers and their families lived in the same town and my sister Jane, three years older than me, lived on a small acreage just outside the city limits.
I suppose you'd call our family "traditional." Politically conservative but socially liberal, we felt strongly about certain things but didn't espouse any particular political party. If there was a black sheep it was my sister Jane. She'd always been gorgeous but had never really known it, a natural blond, and an exceptional athlete. We always called her a tomboy, but never thought anything of it. She'd had boyfriends in high school and I know for a fact she'd slept with some because she'd told me so.
Jane and I went out to dinner shortly after I moved home. I was struck by how much Jane had changed since I'd last seen her. She was still plainly gorgeous, but gone was the long pony tail she always wore in her blond hair. Instead her hair was very short and choppy, parted and combed over to the side. She'd never worn much makeup either, not needing it, but now she wore none at all. And the only jewelry she wore was a plain gold band on the middle finger of her left hand.
She'd also brought a friend along, a woman named Lynne. Lynne was the very definition of petite. Jane and I are both tall, I'm 6'3" and Jane is 5'9", but Lynne couldn't have been more than 5'3". She was very pretty though, stunning blue eyes behind wire rimmed glasses. Hair so blond it was almost white flowing down to her shoulders. And where Jane was outgoing and gregarious, Lynne was quiet and shy, almost withdrawn. It didn't take me a second to realize that they were a couple, my sister and Lynn, but I didn't say anything. I figured that was why I was there, so they could "come out" to me.
Sure enough I was right. Jane surprised me by acting a little uncomfortable, almost embarrassed as she began the conversation, shortly after we'd sat down.
"Listen Matt, I don't really know how to tell you this but you're going to hear it somewhere so I wanted to be the one to..."
"Jane," I interrupted her "it's pretty obvious. You and Lynne are partners," I said, putting air quotes around the word "partners" as I spoke. "Right?"
She didn't say yes or no, she just half-smiled and looking me right in the eye asked "are you OK with that?" playfully mocking me by putting air quotes around the word "ok."
"Of course I'm ok with it. Are you ok with it? Are you out to everybody?" I asked, meaning our parents and brothers.
"Well, we never really had that out-of-the-closet conversation with any of them but Lynne and I have been living together for two years now and everybody pretty much knows."
I smiled and looked at Lynne but she was gazing into her wine glass, smiling but obviously uncomfortable.
"Hey, whatever floats your boat. I couldn't care less as long as you guys are happy," I told them.
"Well good then, I'm happy," Jane replied, reaching out over the table with her right hand to take mine, while her left hand held Lynne's, "and now that we have that out of the way, lets finish our dinner."
I hung out my shingle over the office I rented in the business district of our little town and moved into a very nice but too big house I bought out of foreclosure on the city golf course. Just down the street, it turned out, from my sister and Lynne's acreage. I spent six months or so in real estate law, building my business, trying not to work too hard, when one day Jane and Lynne invited me over to their home for Sunday brunch.
Assuming it was another one of Jane's family get-togethers, I showed up, looking forward to watching football with my brothers and visiting with my parents. I was surprised though when I got there that there were no other cars in the driveway, just my sister's red white and blue Mini.
Jane met me at the door in jeans, Birkenstocks and a t shirt, ushering me in, taking my jacket and leading me into the living room. She seemed uncomfortable again, like she'd been at dinner when she'd told me she and Lynne were lesbians. As she offered me a seat on the couch, I noticed Lynne, curled up in an armchair, wearing a pink sun dress, looking at me shyly, blushing a bit.
Jane sat on the couch with me but turned to look at me. "Matt," she began, concentrating as if she was still trying to figure out how to say what she was going to say, "Matt, Lynne and I have something to ask you. We've thought hard about this and we want you to know that whatever you say, it's really, really ok, and we wouldn't even ask you, but we think you're just so right for it and I hope you way yes. We hope you say yes."
"OK...," I said slowly, raising an eyebrow, "what do you want to ask me?"
"Lynne and I want a baby. And we want you to be the father."
I was shocked, but I tried to be cool, "really?" I asked, "why me?"
"You're smart, you're healthy, you're attractive, and most importantly, you're family. And we want this baby to really be family, we want it to really be ours." Jane explained.
I didn't want to get too deep into the mechanics of it all because I was pretty sure it involved me jerking off into a cup in one room while Lynne was in stirrups in another, so instead I asked, "can you afford that? I mean artificial insemination is really expensive."
"Well Matt, that's the thing," Jane replied "we can't afford to do it that way. That's why this has been such a hard decision for us. We'd like you to get Lynne pregnant the old-fashioned way."
I was shocked. I looked from my sister to Lynne, who had drawn her feet up under her and was hugging herself in the chair. My face turned red and I stumbled for words but all I came out with was "huh?"
"You'd get her pregnant the old-fashioned way. Sex"
"You're kidding me, right?" I said. "Are you serious?"
"We're totally serious Matt," we want you to father our child."
I looked over at Lynne, who hadn't moved, looking for a sign in her face that would tell me what she really thought about this. Slowly she looked up at me, meeting my gaze. Her eyes were filled with tears and at first I thought maybe she wasn't really too enthusiastic about the whole thing, but then she spoke.
"Matt," she said softly and the first of the tears ran down her cheek, "your sister and I love each other very much. And we've never wanted anything like we want to have a child together. I know this is awkward, but its ok, really it is. You'd be giving us an amazing gift, but if you're not completely comfortable with it, we understand. It's ok."
Those teary eyes got to me. I forced out the words "no, no, really, I'm...honored. I think this is great a great idea. I'd love to help you out."
And with those fateful words I embarked upon the single weirdest year of my life.
